Atypical shopping day & outfit for wedding

[shootingstar]

I spent a totally atypical (for me) afternoon of shopping....jeepers. It is abnormal for me to spend 4 hrs. non-grocery, non-sportswear shopping of today. After buying a wedding gift (which I enjoyed looking artists' co-op), went looking for a dressier top and maybe a skirt in a shopping mall.

Wedding for a nephew in May.

I'm getting more and more resistant buying any piece of clothing that I will only wear once. Several lovely tops that I tried, but nixed because just would not be wearable at work. So got a $36.00 top that I could wear to work in warm/hot weather at work, etc. later. I must be gettin' old. I resisted buying a flared black skirt. I already have 2 different black skirts + the black one with machine embroidered edge below:

Would you wear a skirt this short to a wedding? It was a bargain that I got over yr. ago for $38.00. I do occasionally wear it at work. It fits neatly in my bike pannier. (Yes, these are how low my dress shoes are. Walkable. I occasionally wear them at work.)

[Blueberry]

Why not? I think it's a lovely skirt! And I only own 2 pairs of heels (and they're made by a clog manufacturer - the only reason I can wear them!).

And I agree - I'm become much, much more resistant to buying clothes that can't be used for multiple purposes. I have a closet full of them (most of them no longer fit) - and I don't like them. Time for some serious cleaning!

[shootingstar]

You know, my partner thought the skirt was too 'casual'. He thought a plain black skirt (with a belt) which I have, would be better and more "formal". I was actually surprised by his evaluation. This is coming from a guy who dislikes wearing a suit but knows he will have to wear one. Last year, he grumped about it for his nephew's wedding. He biked to the U.S. and bought his suit there. Then after wedding, he had his daughter bring it back, while he continued cycling northward to Canada.

(I couldn't take time off for that occasion...)

Oy, lovely clothing and only wearing them once or twice. I find it hard to donate the stuff...but I am weaning myself to do some year by year.

I saw some store styles: I could actually rejuvenate some pieces from closet --in style again. Am such a squirrel, keeping my clothing. I should have kept a bridesmaid's dress,....for costumed fun, bike rides!!!!

[Blueberry]

No offense to your partner or mine, but sometimes those of the opposite gender don't really "know the rules" of women's clothing as well I think either would be fine, but I really like the embroidery on this one. I do think women have a bit more flexibility than do men for these occasions.

Slight thread drift - I too find it hard to donate. But - a friend with a lovely, streamlined house once gave me some good advice. His advice was to let go of your concept of what things cost, or what they "should be" worth. Look at what they are worth to you now. If they're not making your life better (and in my case - given that we are renting a home and know we will move sooner or later and have to deal with packing, moving, storing), get rid of them. It's really quite freeing. I come from a family with an obsession with "stuff" - nicknacks, china, etc. - and it has been really hard for met to start letting go. But - my home feels better, and I'm happier. I still have a long way to go - but it's a start.

I do wish I had a ridiculous dress for a costumed bike ride, though - that would be great fun!

[Owlie]

I think it depends on how formal the wedding is. If it's relatively casual, sure! If it's formal, perhaps not. But my family is very traditional on that sort of thing.

Regardless, it's a really pretty skirt.

(And all my dress shoes are flat. I can't walk in heels.)

[Crankin]

That is a very pretty skirt, Shooting Star, but I would have to agree with Owlie. It depends on what type of wedding it is. I, personally, think that most weddings would require a little bit more of a formal type attire, unless it's an outdoor, afternoon wedding. If your partner is wearing a suit, I would say wear the skirt, maybe with a dressier top or sweater? This is only me speaking, so don't get offended. I don't like the actual act of shopping (I buy almost exclusively online), but I like buying stuff, if that makes sense. So, a special occasion to buy something is a treat for me. I do look for multiple uses, though. For example, at my younger son's wedding (evening, at a country club, but a buffet and a dj, not super fancy), I wore a black sleeveless dress from J Crew. I have worn it probably 3 times since, and I bought it to wear more than once. On the other hand, my DIL's mom wore a long dress bought from one of those "bridal" places that I thought was stupid. My dress looked dressy and classic, dressed up with pearls and other jewelry. My thought was that she never had a wedding like her daughter was having, and she was living through her. She's a lovely person, so it doesn't matter, but we all have different tastes. I like dressing up and I am pretty traditional about what's proper where. Heck, I only just stopped wearing pantyhose, so as not to be branded as "old."

[malkin]

Would you wear a skirt this short to a wedding?

I wouldn't wear a skirt that short ever, because I wouldn't feel comfortable. You should wear something you like, feel comfortable in, and that is suitable for the formality of the event.

[shootingstar]

Gosh, I bought the top for the wedding event. I can't think of a dressier top to buy since the other tops I saw, I can't wear them to work/make it multi-use later. There were other tops: wider, more sheer or lower necklines that I avoid. The days of a formal dressy top that is not sheer, not a print, not wider (than what I'm wearing), not glittery (I already have stuff like that, worn only 1-2 times. ) not with a peplum skirt (cute on me but won't last beyond 1 season), not off-shoulder, but not a tailored shirt, are really hard to find.

Yea, picky when we want to make a top multi-purpose later on.

I'll be wearing a black jacket whenever it gets cool.

[Crankin]

It's really hard for me to see the top.
I wear skirts that short all of the time. Go for it!

[lph]

I think it's a lovely skirt, but I can't comment on the suitability for a wedding. Depends on the occasion and the people.

Why would you only wear a top once, though? Won't there be other occasions in the future that warrant something similar? Other weddings, parties, christenings, what-have-you. I love clothes that are multipurpose and can be used for work, but I still have a handful of really nice dresses that are only suitable for quite formal occasions. I feel gorgeous in them, and the styles will last, so I don't mind that they don't get used more than maybe once or twice a year.

[indysteel]

I'm in the the "it depends on the wedding" camp. For an evening wedding, it could be too informal IMO.

But like lph, I see some utility--even if it's limited--in having some dressier pieces in my wardrobe. I was mostly done with weddings before I married DH, but he's younger so I find myself having to go to more of them again. I recently purchased, this dress for an upcoming afternoon wedding in which DH is a groomsman (he'll be in a tux). While I don't intend to wear it to work, I do I expect to wear it multiple times to weddings and other events. Depending on the shoe and jewelry, I think I can dress it up or down and wear it most seasons (if paired with a sweater or wrap). I also have a black cocktail dress, too, that has served me well for evening weddings.

[shootingstar]

That's an elegant dress, indysteel.
I know for me, it would look terrible on me, since I'm short (don't know if the original pic reflects that I'm only 5'1"). For me to wear a black dress, probably needs to be more fitted...and not make me look tired. (I have black hair and with advancing age, I have to be very careful wearing black close to my face....especially at a wedding.)

Sad thing, is that we're crossing my fingers that my father (who's cancer is now worse. I found out 3 days ago) we hope he will still be alive by this late May. Seriously. I just hope I wont' be attending a wedding, then funeral in short order or reverse of that.

What I wore about 6 years ago at my partner's son's wedding. http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showt...t=23707&page=2 I decided to be more formal at the time. Now the strapless dress (even with a pink chiffon shawl) feels too bare for my nephew's wedding. (One needs to scroll down the page, after getting to linked pg.)

You have to understand, he is the son of my sister who died.
I will wear black....at my father's funeral when the time comes. Not at nephew's wedding. That's too much. He saw all of us in black at his mom's funeral.
Anyway, this is the close-up of my top (very different from the top part of indy's black dress). I need light colours around my face to offset the tiredness in my face in the past few years:

[Crankin]

Indy, I'm like you; I have a few more timeless type pieces that are dressy and I do have occasion to wear them a few times a year. Not so much weddings, but going out for a more special dinner, birthdays, charity events, etc. That's why I bought the dress I did for my son's wedding. Every few years I take stock and clean out this part of my wardrobe.
I used to think that I couldn't wear black at all. I am more of a "fall" color type person (jewel tones), but I wear almost all black, grey, or off white/white now, with a splash of red or pink. I find that using accessories with color and the right make up takes the "tired look" away. I know you've said you don't wear make up, Shooting Star, but for a special occasion, some neutral type blush and a little lipstick might make a difference.
The blouse is lovely. Maybe a colorful wrap/sweater, if it gets chilly?

[indysteel]

That blouse is pretty.

But I think you may have taken the example of my own dress a bit too literally. I wasn't suggesting that you necessarily buy a navy or black dress or one with the precise fit of my dress. Rather, I was suggesting that having some dressier pieces in your wardrobe might be useful even if you can't wear them to work or ride your bike with them. Pick a cut and color that flatters you or stick with separates if you prefer. The point is that you will likely find it helpful to have those options when you need them.

[malkin]

I think you look wonderful in that skirt and top and if it is right for the event, and you feel good in it, then you're set.
I guess you'll still need shoes.

With weddings it can be hard to tell how formal it is going to be. Sometimes everyone looks like they're at Cinderella's Ball, and other times people look like they're clean and heading out to a restaurant for dinner.

I just went back and looked at your other wedding picture, and I think you look beautiful there too!

Having a bit of anxiety with your family situation is completely understandable. Go with what feels best.