Body Image and other Random Thoughts

[DirtDiva]

I am (if I translate into american ) 5'3", 130-odd pounds and a size six. A perfectly healthy body, but I can't imagine I'll ever be truly happy with it. There's nothing wrong with the arms and the legs and the head; it's all the flobby bits in the middle that bug me. Still, I'd rather do a million sit-ups than give up good food and alcohol...

[SadieKate]

A size 6? It's those pesky numbers again. I'm 5' 3 1/2" and weigh 133 lbs. I am pretty balanced top to bottom (an hourglass not a pear). I am absolutely thrilled when I fit into a size 8 pant. Another reason to revel in a healthy body rather than a label manufactured for commercial reasons.

[CorsairMac]

I posted a reply to LadyJais post but to restate it here:

one brands size 8,10 as anothers 10,12 is anothers 6,8! I hang around between an 8-10 in the winter and a 6-8 in the summer.....half the time I don't know what size I'm wearing, but they're comfortable and I can wear them all day! That is more important to me then what "size" they are! oh...and that I can climb that dang-blasted mountain home every night!

[DirtDiva]

Well, I'm a GAP size six. I don't have any other pants that have US sizings in them as well as UK ones (which seem to be the same as NZ sizings). It's all a crap-shoot really, isn't it? Not hard to wind up with clothes in three different sizes all from the same store, in my experience.

[runnergirl]

sizes are a joke!

I can wear a size 4 at banana republic, but need a 10 in most patagonia pants. The rest of my clothes are in between, but a 4 is so far from a 10 it seems a little crazy!

[Selkie]

As I said recently in another thread, Brava Mz. V! I remember those photos you posted---you are beautiful and from everything you've written here, I suspect you have an adoring husband (no reason to wonder why, either).

I hate the media for the number it does on women--ok, you can weigh 90 lbs, not counting your breast implants, and then you're considered beautiful. No, not until you get your nose fixed, lips pumped w/collagen, and forehead injected with Botox. So let's see, "beautiful" means you can't eat like a normal person, have to work out 4 hours a day, and then, schedule "maintenance" surgery at least once a year. How can anyone be happy, having to live like that? I don't view models/actresses as 100% real people anymore. Remember J-Lo with brown hair and a little meat on her? I thought she was stunning then. Now she seems to look like every other blonde celebrity female.

[Veronica]

Thanks! - I'd forgotten about the pictures. Thom loved the one I picked by the way.

I just wish someone had told me when I was younger, and that I had believed them, that what you see in the media is not "perfection." Bodies come in all makes and models. The important thing is to treat the one you have well and to rejoice in what it can do. Reading about the difficulty others are having with their image, just made me want to say, "Hey you're okay!"

V.

[yellow]

I don't know many (any?) women who haven't struggled with this, even those that are chronically thin. I had troubles as an adolescent (I remember so clearly being labeled "thunder thighs" in high school) but now I try not to think about it. My weapons:

• no scales allowed in the house!
• no full length mirrors!
• judge by how the clothes fit!
• direct stress to the abs...build core strength without even really trying!

I pretty much only get weighed when I go to the doc. There is a scale at the gym I go to and I weighed myself once...and decided not to do that again. I'm in pretty good shape, my clothes fit, and I'm feeling pretty strong, yet the number that popped up made me think I should be thinner, in better shape, whatever. I've been both in better shape and in worse shape. But now that I'm older and a little bit wiser I know that if I were to cut back on calories to lose that extra (perceived?) weight, I wouldn't be able to do what I do. That's just how it is. I don't wear short shorts. Never have, never will.

HOWEVER, these days I am pretty gripped about this whole aging thing. I look in the mirror and see skin that has lost elasticity, lots of sun damage, bags, and wrinkles. I wish someone would have lectured me on skin care when I was 20. Oy! Not that it probably would have made a difference since I spent my entire childhood in the sun and continue to participate in activities that are hard on the skin. My 18 year old neice is prolly tired of hearing my "wear sunscreen" lecture.

So I think I've come to grips with the body image/body shape bit...now I need to learn how to live with my aging image in the mirror. I've made DH promise that he won't leave me for some young, wrinkle-free, fly fishing wonder, skinny-legged girl. We're going nymph fishing tomorrow so I can keep my edge!

[Veronica]

But Yellow - you're one of those adorable, perky people!

V.

[Lise]

It's good to read these posts. Although I'll admit that the topic is anxiety-provoking, so I haven't read everything closely, just did the best I could. I'm 5'8", currently weigh 150#. Since becoming athletic about 3 years ago, I lost 30#, and became much more muscular. I am so proud of the muscles in my legs and arms. I've still got a blobby belly, big breasts, and a flat butt. I don't care about the flat butt. I wish the front were as flat as the back.

I feel huge--like I tower over people. Like my femurs are unnaturally long (they're not). My breasts started to grow in my late teens, and they are now 36D. I don't like the attention I get from them, so I'm not fond of standing up really straight! I forget to suck in my belly all the time. I hate seeing pictures of myself in lycra. Yet...here's a picture of me running the marathon. I love the way I look. I look strong and happy. I'm aware that the black running shorts sort of hide the belly. So what, I have a belly! Sheesh!

My mind SCREAMS that I don't look like an athlete. I respect the women who post here--strong, smart women, cyclists, racers, etc. It helps to hear that your bodies aren't what you think they should be. Because I "see" you all in my mind as heros.

Lise

[Veronica]

Ahhh... anyone who can actually run more than a mile is an athlete in my mind.

It's easy for me to say from 34 B ness.... But stand up straight and be proud Lise. Anyone who thinks you're just a set of boobs is a twit! Besides standing up straight makes your tummy look smaller. I'm speaking from experience here.

V.

[nuthatch]

My mind SCREAMS that I don't look like an athlete. I respect the women who post here--strong, smart women, cyclists, racers, etc. It helps to hear that your bodies aren't what you think they should be. Because I "see" you all in my mind as heros.

Lise

You know what I see when I look at your picture? A cute, happy athlete! In fact, you kind of look like me (also 5'8", 150#, short blond hair) Hey, I look darned good!

This is such an issue of perspective! Nothing anyone else says can change that "body image" picture we have in our mind. And, YES!, it starts at puberty and the things that happen to us at that age stick with us the rest of our lives. It must be some sort of cavewoman thing...

Age helps with this, but it's still an everyday struggle to remind myself that I'm okay in this department.

[Trek420]

Wow, what a great thread. I'm not sure where to start in applauding it you all wrote such great stuff. Somewhat related thought...I've been mulling this question over, the thought bubble works something like this: do you think we (meaning we TE'ers, athletes in general, endurance athletes in particular) are different? And if so why? nature or nurture that sort of thing.

We've all been there; the family or friend who looks at you like we've got two heads when you say "just a 30 mile training ride", "you're training for WHAT? " "you ride to work? ". much less the date thread that's somewhere here.

For me even if it's a lunchtime walk, it's what my body feels it must do like breathing.

Weight has been a life long battle, I could stand to loose 30 or so lbs but even my Dr. agrees as he points at the weight chart "this has nothing to do with you. this is based on people who do not ride. Loose some weight but don't loose any muscle. If you feel weaker, stop." Good doc!

So I don't have a scale, I go by how the clothes fit (tight right now) and how I feel and how I perform on the bike (pretty good). Thanks TE gals for the reminder, work on the core.

It's always relatively easy for me to ramp up the workout. Not more hours because I don't have a lot of time but harder, add a hill, sprint, spin, more weight. We all see ads for New Years Resolution gym memberships, Fitness Equipment Sales etc that's never been hard for me to do.

So I was thinking that's genetics, my (and therefore Bikeless in Wi's) parents are what you'd call vibrant elderly, my Dad right up to shortly before his death, Mom still thinks little of walking to town although she gardens less than she used to, both sib's and their resulting kids are active-bike, swim, cc ski, climb, have a cousin who does double centuries...is this genetic?

[Veronica]

I don't know Trek - based on my own family - I'm pretty much an anomaly. My oldest sister was state champion in hurdles in high school. She's now at least 100 pounds overweight is my guess. She's 5'8" and weighs 280.

My next sister didn't get cursed with the bulging thighs and she's in pretty good shape. She rides horses. She was NOT at all athletic as a kid.

My three brothers were not into sports as kids, but were boy scouts. One is deceased, one has quite a big belly and the other is doing okay, but his jobs are a bit stressful and cause some blood pressure problems. He's got a little bit of a belly.

My third sister has never been athletic and I would guess weighs 200 - 220 at 5'2".

I'm the youngest and I've always been pretty athletic. Even when I was heavy, I was at the gym a couple of times a week.

My mother is overweight, has been all my life. My father was a smoker and his jobs kept him active so was never overweight.

I was neither encouraged nor discouraged from being active as a kid/teen.

Don't know what it all means. Probably nothing. I wish I could encourage my sisters to have a healthier lifestyle. But I know, change must come from within.

V.

[newfsmith]

I'm about to turn 59 this spring. At 5 feet even (and shrinking) I would still like to get down to 118 from my present 130, but I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that that is not in the cards for me. Annie has met my mother who is 88. She can testify just how much like her I am. The biggest difference is that she has never liked any activity other than shopping. I will have osteoporosis, hopefully as mild as hers. I will get a belly, hopefully a little less than hers. I will get arthritis, I've already had to go up a 1/2 size in my surgical gloves; but hope I will have the courage to do the hip replacement/knee replacement at the right time to maximize keeping an active lifestyle as long as possible. As an adult I have gotten down to the sub-110 that all the charts suggest as a healthy weight for me only during 3 serious depressive episodes. During the latter 2, my DH kept telling me "my body might be considered sexier when I was skinny, but I wasn't. I love when you can laugh, play, cook for us and eat with us. That makes you alive and someone I love." Thanks to modern chemistry, I came out the last episode able to believe him. It took me 83% of my life to get there and I look forward to that percentage shrinking faster than my height. It doesn't matter how long it takes to get to accept yourself, just that you do it (and ride your bike with joy as you do).