Dear Cat

[Sardine]

I don't have a cat either, but the stories of cats that turn iTunes on, or "type" messages are hilarious. They remind me of this video from BBC Comedy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYe1d5_LS0s

Brilliant! Thanks. Don't watch television. Maybe I should.

[jusdooit]

Dear Flash,
I know this may be a surprise to you , but not every thing is eatable, including electrical cords. You have lived here for 2 years, I think you know when I open the back door it's to let the dogs out, not you. And while we're being honest here, I really do not need your help in the bathroom, I can do it all by myself.

The woman who saved you from the parking lot.

[jessmarimba]

Dear Critter -

I have to admit, I'm loving this phase where you think I've "rescued" you every time we leave the vet (and you seem to forget that I brought you there in the first place)

Thanks for being a good boy while we were there and letting that sticky red-spotted child pet you.

Love,

Your favorite lap

[skhill]

Dear cats

It's great that all three of you want to cuddle with me now that the weather is turning cooler. But y'all should know by now that all three of you do not fit on my lap together. And Joe, if you try again to push someone off my lap so you can have it, you're getting a time-out.

Love, the heat source

[Roadtrip]

Dear Cat,

Why the sudden fascination with what ever I'm about to out in my mouth?

You've never been remotely interested in "people" food in the past, with the exception to tuna fish Sammie I sometimes make and cold filtered water from the fridge, so what gives?

I know you wouldn't drink the coffee I sit down, but you race to smell, just to be sure???

[marni]

Dear cats

It's great that all three of you want to cuddle with me now that the weather is turning cooler. But y'all should know by now that all three of you do not fit on my lap together. And Joe, if you try again to push someone off my lap so you can have it, you're getting a time-out.

Love, the heat source

My husband once took a picture of mee in the fall with Tux the maine coon cuddled in my arms with his forehead pressed against my chin, Jason our ginger polydactyl curled up in the crook of my bent knees and Cappy our geriatric ocicat perched on my hip, all of us sound asleed.

It isn't quite cold/cool/ less than steamy hot enough here for the lap fights to start here yet, but in the meantime there is already additional competition from Rowena, the teacup 14 pound corgie with the memory span of a gold fish, who has not yet learned that Tux outweighs her by 4 pounds

good times are coming along with canine feline sibling rivalry.

marni

[Atlas]

Dear Frisbee,
I'm not sure what I did to deserve so many cuddles today, but thanks. Don't take this as a go-ahead to break something tomorrow.
Love, the person who wields the orange string toy

[Bethany1]

Dear Buttons,

I see you have moved up in the world of stealing items from socks and human food to stealing diamond rings. Yes, it's shiny and fits in your mouth but it's NOT yours.

Just be grateful I found it and happen to like you.

BTW, sleeping on my head is not helping your cause.


The Mom

[lph]

BTW, sleeping on my head is not helping your cause.

*snort*

[Dogmama]

Dear Murphy,

It's two o'clock in the freakin' morning.

'nuff said

--------------------------

On another note - anybody try calling their house repeatedly during the day to wake up the cat in hopes of getting a full night's sleep? Or am I the only weirdo here? (P.S., obviously, it doesn't work.)

[bmccasland]

Dear Chloe,
Despite your attempts at teaching me to speak PNW Kitteh, I don't know what you want when you sit on my lap and meow at me with such a plaintive voice. You have food, am petting you, you're purring up a storm, what else do you need

Also, did you pick up a cold at the boarding hotel? I hope you get over the sniffles. Didn't really need the sneeze on the laptop keyboard. One cat with chronic upper respiratory infections is sufficient on the cosmic scheme of things, and that role was filled by Erin (may she be healthy across the Rainbow Bridge).

[indysteel]

Dear Henry: would you mind telling me what's wrong? I know that didn't like being left alone for the week, but you're acting stranger than normal. Do you not feel well and, if so, how? The pet sitter's notes don't indicate anything unusual, but given your propensity to contract mystery illnesses, you have me worried.

Signed,

Your anxious mother

[Dogmama]

Dear Henry: would you mind telling me what's wrong? I know that didn't like being left alone for the week, but you're acting stranger than normal. Do you not feel well and, if so, how? The pet sitter's notes don't indicate anything unusual, but given your propensity to contract mystery illnesses, you have me worried.

Signed,

Your anxious mother

Dear Anxious,

I'm punishing you.

Henry

[HoosierGiant]

Dear Little Cat,

Is there some sort of logical explanation for the way you eat? It doesn't even have to be human logic really; feline logic will suffice.

In the 15 months that we've owned you, you have been observed eating out of the food bowl only five times. Why do you feel it necessary to scoop the dry catfood out onto the floor before consuming it, then leaving all the little crumbs behind to attract ants?

Worse yet, why do you prefer to slide the food bowl next to the water bowl so you can scoop the food into the water and then retrieve the floaties from the water in order to consume them? I wouldn't mind this behavior so much if it didn't involve flinging water everywhere -- the walls, the floor, the trash can, the fire extinguisher, the container for paper recyclables. We had to resort to placing a folded towel under the water bowl to confine at least some of the mess, but now you like to play with the towel, which generally upends the water bowl, sending a river of water across the downward slope of the floor so it pools under the legs of the antique cherry dining table.

Apparently the human occupants of the house are easy to train. We tried non-skid bowls, but that just meant you'd empty the entire food bowl onto the floor in an attempt to transfer the contents to the water bowl. We reverted to the original containers because, when we hear you sliding the food bowl around, we can run to toss a handful of its contents into the water bowl, thereby limiting the mess you will make. And since you purr the entire time you are fishing/eating, we can only assume our reponse was exactly what you had intended. But, at least one of the other cats has fallen under your spell as well. Lester, who was perfectly happy with tap water in the bowl for the two years we owned him before you entered the picture, will now only drink water that has had dry cat food floating in it. Duchess, who is the finicky geriatric feline, won't go near the water bowl unless it is spotless and uncontaminated, and would never dream of stepping in the watery mess you leave behind on the floor.

On good days it's comical the amount of time we spend maintaining the smorgasboard for you; on bad days it doesn't even begin to approach funny.

What gives?

Signed,
Owner who says, "It's a good thing you're so cute"

[Biciclista]

Dear HoosierGiant
your cat is a genius! It has been proven that a diet of dry cat food is not good for cats as it keeps them dehydrated; it's also bad for their kidneys. Your genius of a cat has discovered that he can keep better hydrated by dipping his food in the water. I am extremely impressed.
Signed I have to make cat food from whole chickens for my cats Mimi