woe is me...we're in the same shoes. :-) From what it seems like, you're much better off looking at custom bikes.
Don't be afraid of the compact. You can get 11-28t on your cassette, with 50/34 chain rings (front), and you'll do fine. Unless if you're on steep hills all the time like I am, these should work for you. IF you feel like you want more easier gearing AND a small bike, I would take a look at Specialized Dolce Comp Triple. I saw it in the shop the last couple days, and the Top tube is really low...feels like I have about 4 to 5 inch clearance compared to 1/2 inch clearance on my current bike (I'm 4' 11 and 3/4. The 3/4 counts!!!). It's not full carbon though.
As for the roughness on the road...while you're bike shopping, I would recommend that you find better tires (if you don't want to spend money on tires that's fine), but I would highly recommend that you lower your PSI. It won't feel so rough.
When I pump up my tires, I used to go 135-140 psi (max is 145 on my tires), and it was always ROUGH. Then I got new tires, (125 max), and I would pump up my tires to 120-125..still very rough. I thought it was just me being sensitive to vibrations (I'm deaf, so anything that's tactile is 3x or more sensitive than a hearing person).
However, after talking to a cyclist friend, she told me to lower the PSI...I lowered it to 100 to the front, and 110 in the back....no more road roughness/bumpiness/vibration. It felt smooth. So try that! :-)