I want to replace my 25 year old bike but my bf says I should diet and lose 20 lbs?

[smilingcat]

I've known guys who were annoyed if you could not keep up. It's unfortunate. But then again we all have our faults. I have mine...

If your BF is not happy having to slow down and "drag" you around when the two of you are cycling, he needs some attitude adjustment or have him go for a high intensity ride first, come back and pick you up and go for his cool down ride with you.

Just because you can run 5/6 times a week does not mean that you would have the same kind of conditioning on a bike. Mechanics of running and riding a bike is different. When I used to really ride and do incredible rides, my running was just the awful. I couldn't run a 10 minute mile.

If your BF wants you to buy a new bike, tell him to put his money where his mouth is and have him pitch in to buy you a new bike. It sounds like he wants to spend your money so have him spend his own and buy you a new bike.

As for big box store bike. NOT WORTH IT!! It will be crummier than the one you have.

REI does carry good bicycles for very reasonable price. And when you have found the one you like. Come back and ask us if you think its a good deal or not. Then you can decide whether to buy it or not. REI is big enough that they will have more of the same bike somewhere. Buy last years close out model to get a better price deal.

Enjoy spending your BF's money

[hebe]

Well I'm 5 3" and since my student days when I bought my Fiji Absolute, I have gained about 20 lbs. But with breast cancer, menopause, raising two kids, bouts of unemployment, I have not been overly concerned with my spare tire around my abdomen.

Wow. I would love to see the man who could make it through all of that without gaining a few pounds. Seriously.

Yes, get the bike. Watch some maintenance videos, do a class. I suspect that your man is worried that with the right sort of encouragement and equipment you would leave him in your dust. Good luck. Sometimes you have to listen to yourself (and everybody on here of course).

[socaljewel]

The bf is quite manipulative and doesn't have to literally come out and say, "you're a pig". All he has to do is sigh, or look back to see where I am, or say thiings like, "if I go any slower, I'll fall off" or refuse to pay for a trip to Colorado or anywhere other than biking around our neighborhood - for me to realize that he's tired of having a biking partner who is not able to go 60 miles without stopping for lunch. The bf himself has the same strict standards for himself - he has a 25 yr old Schwinn, his polyester clothes are from junior high and he's never paid for a hotel room he couldn't expense.

I'm also scared of going fast. I have only fallen a handful of times (on a pothole, trying to bike on sand, and learning to use clipless pedals) I don't know how to make tight turns. Who wants to go 25 mph and crash and break their collar bone?

[mariacycle]

socal, are you happy with him? it made me really sad to hear you say he was manipulative, do you feel like you can't leave him?

[channlluv]

Nobody deserves to be treated badly. Well, maybe murderers, rapists, genocidal dictators, and child molesters. But in general, and by "in general" I mean you, you don't deserve to be treated badly.

Buy yourself a beautiful new bike that fits you and tell the boyfriend to go riding by himself. I'm betting there's a women-friendly bike club near you. If you're running and you want to get into cycling, too, there's probably a triathlon club near you, too. People with whom you can relate.

Does the boyfriend run with you?

Roxy

[Desert Tortoise]

As others mentioned, joining a women's group is helpful. They tend to be much more helpful, supportive, noncompetitive and nonjudgemental. Groups like this tend to build up people. Hang around them long enough and you will see and feel a difference. Might even give you a new perspective.

dt

[channlluv]

PS - Here is a list of South Carolina cycling clubs. See if there's one near you.

http://www.sciway.net/tourism/cycling.html


Good luck.

Roxy

[7rider]

#1. If you're doing 60-80 mile rides on a 25 year old Fuji, PLUS running 6 miles a day, you are a freakin' ROCK STAR. If BF doesn't see that, find yourself someone who does.

#2. The best way to avoid flat tires is to keep your tires properly inflated. Check and add air before every ride. Get a good floor pump with a gauge. Talk to someone in a bike shop about how to use it properly, and keep those tires full of air. Don't ride on wet pavement if you can help it, and if you can't, clean off the tires when you are done. Stones, glass, and other road debris can work their way through a wet tire like a warm knife through butter. And, as others have mentioned, learn how to fix a flat because, well, even with due care, flats happen.

[Roadtrip]

I grew up with manipulative men (step-father) and I have to say... Don't take it anymore. Just don't. I realize it's an easy thing for us to say. You soooooo deserve more then the treatment you are receiving. It took years for mom to realize this and she stayed with a man who was both physically and verbally abusive because he convinced she could not do better and destroyed her already shaken self confidence. She would make excuses for his behavior again and again... When we finally did leave it was a middle of the night pack up and dash so he didn't know where we went, plus for many years we had this forboding fear he would re-enter ours lives to ruin the good we had begun to rebuild.

I'm not saying your situation is like mine, but please do not take this treatment, on or off the bike.

In terms of biking... Girl, you totally freaking rock to be able to ride a 30+ lb bike 60 miles before needing to stop for lunch. I wish I were able to ride like that and I do have a newer/lighter bike! Sounds like you really need some perspective and nobody can tell you exactly what to do, only you can make that choice for yourself, but I hope the ladies here have given you some of that needed perspective.

Wishing you the best,
Shannon

[westtexas]

+1 to what everyone else said.

I just bought a new bike and mine wasn't even that old. Love the new bike. It's really boosted my confidence which has made my riding better. And the guy I am dating right now is the best cycling partner I have had - he's there as a windblock and the head of our two-man pace line and when the tire went flat he fixed it (then taught me how to do it the next day when it wasn't 9:30 p.m. and dark outside) and he's actually the one who built my new bike from scratch.

Find people who support you as you are and enjoy biking for biking's sake. My guy right now is off riding with the race team he wants to join - while I relax on the couch after our 18 mile ride this morning.

And you know, you can always get good bikes used that are in good condition and the price is reduced. Check the for sale ads here or your local craigslist. Your LBS may even help people sell their old bikes (that's what I will be doing as soon as my carbon bars come in for my new one). Get to know the folks at the shop and they will often make a good deal with you - my shop sure did on my new Synapse that I had built from the frame up.

Good luck, let us know how it goes. We are here to help and support!!

[lph]

The bf himself has the same strict standards for himself - he has a 25 yr old Schwinn, his polyester clothes are from junior high and he's never paid for a hotel room he couldn't expense.

Ah. Well. I've grown up with people like that, and a good friends dh is like that. The whole "let's see if we can get away with spending as little as possible"-idea is fun if you're in on it and enjoy it too, but remember he has a whole lot of testosterone-built muscles driving that 25 yr old Schwinn. You are not just going to magically someday keep up with him because you're both riding heavy bikes. He literally has it easier, so the sighing and moaning is just bullsh1t.

You don't need the lightest carbon miracle out there to enjoy bike riding more, but you DO need a bike that's more suited to YOU. I don't know enough about prices in the us to give you a ballpark figure, but there is a pretty clear level below which you shouldn't go. It's not just hype and frivolous spending. I have only old (not that old!) bikes and fix them myself, but even that does cost money.

Please - find a bike club nearby, and find some women who ride. You will not regret it.

[divingbiker]

This makes me so sad. And so glad I'm single.

[wannaduacentury]

Help! I know nothing about bike maintenance. my boyfriend does all my bike maintenance. But after 3 years of following my boyfriend around and listening to his scorn at my inability to maintain his speed or bike over 80 miles per day, I am thinking about spurging on another bike for the second time in 25 years. But Should I keep my Fiji made 25 years ago which is indestructable or should I buy a fancy new bike which will break down and cost me lot of money in repairs but will allow me to go on a bike tour or at the least let me keep pace with my boyfriend. I am a runner who runs 6 miles a day, 7 days a week and only bikes about 4 days a month

Keep your old one and ride it for fun/nostalgia. Get a new one that will inspire you to ride often. Jenn

[WindingRoad]

Oh my goodness, your boyfriend needs a new attitude. There's no excuse for belittling you for not keeping up with him. We are all different people and by no means can he expect the same from you just because he can do it, that's absolutely ridiculous!!! I won't keep going on about that subject but you don't deserve to be treated like this.

On the other hand, you can get a road bike for around $600 new. I know it's not a small business but if there is a 'Performance Bike' near you the bikes are very reasonably priced. Best of luck to you but for the record I think you are WAY stronger than you are giving yourself credit for. Six mile run a day! wow!!!

[socaljewel]

I live in Aiken SC. It's hot in the summer and it's grueling to go on long bike rides. I love running in Hitchcock trails but I do not run on the days I go biking with bf. His bike has about 200,000 miles on it but he'd rather give his money to charity than buy a new wallmart bike. He makes his own gatorade from salt and sugar and KoolAid. He won't go running or snowboarding because he won't do any sports that requires special equipment or requires you to pay for plane tickets. He goes hiking on old steel toe shoes he wears at the plant. Last summer we went mountain biking in Greenbriar trail and New River Trail in Virginia and West Virginia. since I don't have a mountain bike and didn't have $100 to buy one from wallmart, I rode his spare mountainbike. Since he's 6' and I'm 5 3" it was a very uncomfortable ride not to mention monotonous covering 50 miles a day of boring old railroad track. We have to carry all our own water and food because he won't be ripped off buying drinks at gas stations or expensive little gift shops. he does maximum weights in the gym and I've never seen him out of breath, or sweat or pant. It's no wonder his wife is so mad at him after 29 years of marriage she doesn't even talk to him.