What's your friend's beef with compact geometry? All that generally means is that it has a sloping top tube, which is what you're going to find on the market these days on most smaller frames. Some people--your friend perhaps--doesn't like the look of them and prefer a horizontal top tube. I do, too, to be honest, but from a functional standpoint, a sloping top tube just makes practical sense for smaller riders. So, I'd ignore that part of his advice.
Aluminum can ride harshly, especially if you ride crappy roads, but it's relatively inexpensive and readily available so I wouldn't rule it out. Test ride as many bikes as you can. There are a few mass produced steel bikes out there--Jamis comes to mind. I have a WSD steel Bianchi myself that I love, but it's no longer in production.
Carbon would also be worth considering, but don't blow your budget just because of your friend's biased (in my view) opinion.
Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.
--Mary Anne Radmacher