Now it's about wrinkles

[emily_in_nc]

If I had retired at 50 I'd be homeless and pushing a shopping cart! Just imagine my hair and skin then!

Yes, I know how very fortunate I am to be able to do this. Chalk it up to going into a fairly well-paid field (software engineering), living below our means, and not being able to have children. I figured if I couldn't be a mom, I should at least take advantage of one of the perks of not having to save for college educations: early retirement. Things would be very different if we'd had children, and I'm sure I'd be working until 62 at least.

[malkin]

Way to go!

(It's likely that I'll be working until the day I drop dead.)

[Miranda]

Like the gray hair thread... and I'm letting mine go naturally gray... same with the wrinkles... just let em keep on coming.

I have friends/relatives who have spent lots of $$$ on various derm tx, and bottom line... they do not last. You may notice some slight improvement, but it's short lived, particularly for the money. Plus, if you are the unlucky one with ill side-effects, it a'int pretty.

Good luck though with whatever you decide to do.

[Dogmama]

Like the gray hair thread... and I'm letting mine go naturally gray... same with the wrinkles... just let em keep on coming.

I have friends/relatives who have spent lots of $$$ on various derm tx, and bottom line... they do not last. You may notice some slight improvement, but it's short lived, particularly for the money. Plus, if you are the unlucky one with ill side-effects, it a'int pretty.

Good luck though with whatever you decide to do.

I've been looking at women that I know have had "work" done. Seems like no matter how good the "work" is - I can always tell that they're older than their face says. Why is that?

I think that youth comes from inside. Don't you know people who exude enthusiasm & light? Then you notice - hey - they have gray hair & wrinkles! Then, there are those (I'm profiling here) who have a little $$ & have banished the gray hair & wrinkles but they just seem older. There is no happiness & a lot of tension in their (unlined) faces.

You're right about the botched jobs not being pretty. Many years ago, I decided I hated the lines on my forehead & wanted to wear my hair back. So, I had botox done by a board certified plastic surgeon who has a great reputation. The result was that my forehead relaxed but the extra skin hung over my eyes, so I looked like a gecko for three months. When I asked them how they could fix it, they talked about some procedure for glaucoma -- forget it. Also, the numb feeling was disconcerting.

[PamNY]

all I can say is think back and remember your favorite grandmother. You loved her despite her wrinkles, bags, sags, bad teeth. None of that stuff really matters. Certainly take care of your body, it's the only one that you get, but no one except for maybe your NEW lover looks at you that closely and certainly not that judgmentally!

What lovely comment. As I child I was fascinated by the loose skin and veins on my beautiful grandmother's hands, and I loved her grey hair.

I don't need a book to push me to be wiser. I have a healthy appreciation for intelligence. You can be wise and beautiful at the same time. Why are the 2 seen as mutually exclusive? It feels like that perpetuates the "dumb blonde" stereotype.

Crankin, I agree. Who said beauty and intelligence can't exist in the same person? I am amazed that this idea is still around -- plenty of highly intelligent, successful women have some vanity -- and why shouldn't they?

I also roll my eyes at the idea that "our society" pushes vanity and "the media" are to blame.

Human beings have always paid attention to appearance. Spend some time in a museum, or study a bit of history. We aren't the first to think about how we look to others.

I don't know if this fallacy comes from ignorance or egotism, but there's no reason to clutch our pearls over botox.

Other animals (and we are animals) go to great lengths to make themselves attractive to potential mates. Some of what we are talking about here is probably hard-wired into our brains.

It's also not true that everyone goes overboard with plastic surgery. I have two friends who had face lifts and they look just fine. Both are successful, professional women with active, interesting lives. One is a very strong woman whom I met doing animal rescue after Katrina. She's not a delicate flower, and she exudes life and energy.

[Crankin]

I had a friend who went to a fashion school for college. She used to come around and make presentations about how the history of fashion (and beauty, too) is intertwined with our actual history. I invited her to come to the high school I taught at and she was besieged with requests to speak to history classes. I used to sit in when I could. It was fascinating.

[badger]

I liked it when Dove had those series of commercials focusing on beauty being the way you are, especially for young girls who think they're either too tall, short, fat, skinny, have red hair, wear glasses, etc. A reminder that self confidence comes from within, not how you look - and that's how it should be.

But, that aside, I do hate that as I approach the age of 40, I battle zits and wrinkles at the same time, it's just not fair!! I've noticed the texture of my skin changing a lot over the past 5 years. It's just not as supple anymore, and especially on my hands, the skin looks so dry no matter how much moisturizering I do. And my hair's getting more frizzy, too.

Oh well, all part and parcel in getting older, I guess!

[lph]

I also roll my eyes at the idea that "our society" pushes vanity and "the media" are to blame.

Well... I agree that people have always been vain, and always will be. It's human nature to want to look good. But it's how a lot of mainstream media portray looking good as the single desirable attribute to have that bugs me. It's just way way out of proportion. Of course there's a huge industry pushing that idea. Just imagine glossy magazines pushing the idea of how to improve your soul, for lack of a better word - how to become kinder, or braver, or more insightful, or how to communicate better... how to improve the inside as much as we at the moment want to improve the outside. "Become a more moral person in 10 easy steps!" "Your quik'n'easy way to wisdom!"

It's a bit weird that in a lot of social settings it's perfectly acceptable to discuss quite drastic procedures done in the name of beauty while discussing any self-improvement "on the inside" is considered intimate, philosophic and reserved for close friends.