Bike vs truck

[Crankin]

Glad the mantra is working.
However... I find it a bit strange she terminated with you after 1.5 sessions. Even if she really believes what you feel and say, this is not usual practice. At the least, you would schedule a final session, to wrap up and process what has happened in your sessions. It's good that she left the door open, so to speak, but even if things are going well, it seems like she would want to check in with you in 2 weeks or a month. Things like flashbacks and intrusive thoughts don't go away so quickly.
Just my opinion.

[badger]

oh wow, talk about being in a daze!! I missed this completely. I'm glad that your daughter's okay and that you're getting counseling!

I think people take for granted that a shock to the system takes a long time to sort through.

I was hit as a pedestrian in a crosswalk. Thankfully I only got away with major bruising to my hip, but I'm always paranoid crossing the street now. But preoccupation is so deadly - almost the exact same thing happened to me last week while crossing the street. 100% right of way but some loser shot through to turn left. Probably didn't even bother to look for pedestrians. I was fiddling around with my thumb holes in my sleeves as it was raining and then *whoosh* and *honk!*

The car I walked past and waiting at the light saw all this and honked at me to warn me. It startled me to no end but the loser speeding through a left missed me by a couple of inches. He was going like stink, too, so had I made contact, I would've been a whole lot worse than a bruised hip.

People are in such a rush these days, but it's always so so important to be aware of what's going on around you and not assuming that you're safe just because you have the right of way.

sorry it's kinda turned into my own rant. But I'm really glad you're getting the help to move on!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

People are in such a rush these days, but it's always so so important to be aware of what's going on around you and not assuming that you're safe just because you have the right of way.

One of my personal biking mantras I say to myself in traffic is:
Just because I am supposed to have the right of way doesn't mean others are going to give it to me.

I mean, who always 'wins' in car vs. bicycle collisions? Frankly, having had the right of way doesn't really matter when you're dead. These are just things I keep in mind when i'm biking. I always assume drivers are going to do the wrong thing. When they do the right thing it's a pleasant surprise.

[Melalvai]

badger, I had that reaction a couple days ago when an SUV ran a stop sign. She slowed down but didn't look and went right on through! I was already in the intersection when she approached it. (Not that it is such a huge intersection--I was moving slowly because of road conditions.) So I couldn't have done anything if it had occurred to me that she might not stop.

It just took me by surprise. Even though once or twice I've had similar experiences, they are rare enough that I forget them in the interim and I just expect people to stop at stop signs, because they always do.

It could have happened just as easily if I'd been in a car instead of on a bike. I suppose the same is true of her--only her SUV is so much more deadly than a bike!!

[RidingBuddy]

I'm so sorry that you are going though all this. It's been a while since your last post here on this thread and I wondered how things were going for you. I've been in a similar situation and felt many of the same emotions.

[Melalvai]

Thanks, RidingBuddy. I'm not yet quite the confident cyclist I was pre-wreck, but I've heard 6-12 months so I'm ok with being easily frightened for a while yet. There was a truck roaring up behind me, with oncoming traffic, and I knew I ought to take the lane to give it no chance of trying to squeeze past me, but I just couldn't do it. I drove off the road instead.

My daughter biked to school for the first time since the wreck. The hold up has been the weather, not so much her nervousness, although she was nervous on this first ride. I posted it here but that's a long thread so I'll re-post:

Today was the most amazing commute I can remember, a special moment I'll treasure for a long time: my daughter biked to school for the first time since her Nov. 3 wreck, and I accompanied her.

Fortunately I didn't notice until after we got home again that she wore the same shirt she wore that day, the t-shirt that had to be cut off of her, that I sewed up! To be fair she didn't select it on purpose. It was her favorite t-shirt before the wreck, because all her best friends had signed it, and it has even more meaning for her because it survived the wreck.

I rode next to her, or in front of her when there was traffic. I don't want to ride behind her (that was my position when the wreck happened). We took the longer way home, because I don't do the left turn into our driveway anymore, I go past it on another street and come back up and turn right.

She was really nervous until she got on the bike. The night before she wanted to change her mind about biking. She was hoping the fog would stick because I said we wouldn't bike if it was foggy. But by morning she was ok.

I met her at school so I could also ride home with her. I felt a little silly because she's 15, she can get home by herself, but I'm not comfortable letting her ride by herself (which is ridiculous because she wasn't by herself when she got hit) and she's not comfortable either. Anyway both trips were really great mom-daughter time.

She came out of school saying how hungry she was. She was super hungry on that last bike ride too. We stopped at the gas station for a (unhealthy) snack, and ate it in a nice little park. (We'll do better next time.)

4-day weekend because of inservice days, then it'll be kind of cold again, but she's looking forward to the next time she can bike to school.

[RidingBuddy]

Oh, so good to hear a good experience. I know you are a super experienced and educated cyclist, so I know you will find ways to process through this. I found that I have become a different cyclist because of my traumatic experiences. There are times when I use my traffic skills more boldly, other times where I defer to traffic.

I would say that 6 to 12 months will help with the trauma. It probably wont ever go away, but it will get easier.

this past year (and it's been several years ago) I had a particularly bad flashback, because I was in a very similar situation. I was really mad at myself for reacting, but I've since learned to accept that flashbacks will happen, just to be prepared for them and try to ride them out.

Take care!!