Can't insert tampon

[Biciclista]

sorry, but I just had to laugh out loud when I read this. I guess if it's new and you don't know, you really don't know!!

they come with directions. Every single box...

[Crankin]

Yea, just thinking about it makes me laugh, as did my mom and I when she finally realized what she had done wrong. My mom was cool in every way, but I think it was so foreign () to her that she just tried, without the instructions. I went back up to MA for a long vacation, after we had moved to Miami. While I was away, she wanted so badly to go swimming in steamy Miami, so she tried the tampons. When I came back, I think *I* informed her of the weirdness of what she had done. Yea, and she was wondering why it hurt!
All this talk is making me glad I have sons.

[malkin]

+1 on Our Bodies Ourselves

...I hope she is comfortable enough touching herself ...

You could tell her that you're sorry, but it isn't going to just go away, she might as well figure out what's what...give her permission...a mirror...some KY...some pictures...plenty of privacy...

Her cervix will feel sort of like the end of her nose, probably a little bigger and more sturdy, with a dent in the end. Once she knows where it is, maybe she can direct the tampon to where it isn't.

It is her own body. The same body she uses to swim and do other stuff.

[PamNY]

Melalvai, you sound like such a great mother, supporting and educating your daughter. Maturation and comfort with one's body is such an individual and sometimes difficult process.

To this day, I remember the adult who derided me for being shy about changing clothes in a group setting. Trust me, being ridiculed did not make me any more comfortable.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

[Susan]

I think I just wouldn't put too much pressure on her. There doesn't need to be something wrong with her because she can't use tampons now. I myself couldn't use tampons until I was about 16 and I remember being really frustrated about it. I had 4 close friends at school that time and 2 of them had the same problem. (None of us dared to ask our mothers or doctors about this problem.)
There isn't something anatomically wrong down there with anyone of them or me. I had no problems having sexual intercourse or a pelvic exam later (my doctor refused to do this until after I had s.i.).

I think it's a combination of some factors - being very narrow because being so young may be a part of it. But I think it has more to do with being unexperienced with your own body. Sorry for being explicit but I remember that I myself wasn't really sure if I REALLY had to stick this thing into my body and if yes, where exactly? A lot of inexperienced women also have the impression, that the right direction to "push" is upwards into the body when in reality it's more backwards, almost horizontal.
Maybe she should just experiment a bit more without setting herself under pressure.

While I think the diva cup or moon cup is a very good substitute for tampons especially while swimming or doing sports, I don't think it would be easy to use it without any further experience with her body. It can be a bit hard to insert it because you have to fold it and hold it in this position then rotate a little bit inside. I think it requires some knowledge of the own anatomy.

I sat out for swimming for some years and discovered the moon cup when I was older than 20 yrs. While I am very happy that I have this possibility now, and sitting out wasn't fun, I think I just needed the time to get to know my body enough.

[sundial]

Melalvai, can you make an appt with a female OB/GYN doctor? That may make it far less intimidating for your daughter on her first visit. Hoping the issue is resolved soon for her, bless her heart.

[pinkychique]

+1 on the female OB/GYN.

I've only been to women docs in that area, and I'm still weird even thinking about going to a male doc. Probably not as big of a deal as it feels like, but I'm not comfortable with a man looking *down there* so to a 15 year old, that would be completely traumatic.

[colorisnt]

I couldn't use regular tampons until I had sex (and I waited on that, so I was in my 20's). TMI I know, but it was just reality. I am shallow (tilted uterus) and so is my sister (same issue). We could use "junior" tampons, but my period was extremely heavy and it would need to be changed on the hour, pretty much. Endometriosis was the cause of the heavy bleeding, so no normal reason for it. See an OB and it will put her mind to rest. I have had pelvic exams since I was 11, so I knew about this problem early on, but it helped to hear a Dr. assure me everythign was okay.

[sarahspins]

I've only been to women docs in that area, and I'm still weird even thinking about going to a male doc. Probably not as big of a deal as it feels like, but I'm not comfortable with a man looking *down there* so to a 15 year old, that would be completely traumatic.

I agree.. I only saw female NP's or midwives until I was 20... I'm not sure I would have been able to handle having a male doctor examine me down there at 15.. or even 17 or 18.. or heck, any point up until I was pregnant with my first baby (the first male doc to examine me was my midwife's backup OB, and I didn't really have much choice because I had just "risked out" of my midwife's care). Now it doesn't bother me to have a male doctor.. but I say that after having 3 kids, and anyone who's given birth in a hospital knows that modesty pretty much goes out the window with that experience, and you get over any inhibitions about "who" is looking "there" - so long as they're not rude or do anything to make it uncomfortable (physically or otherwise).

Anyways, I used tampons (and later Instead soft cups) from a really early age, but I never had problems doing so. I hated pads so much (they always gave me a rash even if I was neurotic about changing them) and so tampons were a welcome alternative - but I had to hide it from my mom since she didn't think that tampons were "appropriate" to use before you'd had sex She based that entirely on her own inability to use them, and in fact even scared my sister so badly about using them that she never even tried until she was something like 28 (I am not kidding) which was several years AFTER she'd already been using a Diva Cup.

You can definitely make an "information only" appointment with planned parenthood or a midwife or even a female pediatrician, that would not be intimidating for your daughter. There's really no reason to need a pelvic exam unless your daughter wants one to make sure everything is okay. They do use smaller speculums on children and young women who haven't had sex yet, so that shouldn't be a concern.

BTW, I don't personally find using a cup any more difficult than tampons.. as far as "ease of insertion" the Instead softcups win hands down (you just pinch them flat and push in, just like a tampon), I always have trouble getting the Diva cup folded right and getting it in place when it's in... and I have problems with it slipping "up" too high and leaking... so I am not a huge fan of the Diva cup personally.. because it just doesn't seem to fit me very well, but Instead works great for me. If she's *interested* in trying a cup, I'd encourage it - if nothing else she'd get more familiar with her own anatomy. I highly recommend using lube when learning to insert/remove any menstrual cup... it makes it much more comfortable. Removing them is usually more difficult than inserting when you're learning.

You can try instead really inexpensively.. http://store.softcup.com/shared/Stor...S=softcup&All= Walgreen's also usually has them in stock (at least they do here). I usually only use one cup per cycle.. I just wash and reuse like you would the Diva or Mooncup so a box lasts me a really long time.

[alexis_the_tiny]

Just to throw my 2 cents in. It took me about a year and a half before I finally could get an OB mini tampon in at 15. I heard about tampons from a girl friend in high school who was a competitive swimmer, I wanted to use them because pads were too uncomfortable but there wasn't an adult I could talk to. My mom found my first box of tampons and told me I would get seriously sick from using them, it was terrifying, frustrating and I didn't feel particularly inclined to talk to any adult about it because they were all so hush hush about matters like that.

So its really great you got your daughter an appointment to have someone who can discuss this sort of thing with her, its also great she can tell you about it. But this can sometimes take time. I would definitely suggest using OB tampons without the applicators and in mini size. Tampax and Playtex, I've found, tend to expand lengthwise which can become extremely uncomfortable. KY Jelly can help a little. But at the end of it, she might just have to keep trying. Good luck to her, I still remember how it felt back in those days and it was simply awful.