Oh, I understand, but If you've tried a lot of good shorts and good products- The last ickiest thing is Vaseline. Messy, but damn is it effective. Since it's not water soluable it seems to stick around on longer rides. Reapply liberally.
A good bikini wax can help too, hair can be a problem.
Have you ever tried shorts with real chamois? (Actual lizard skin) I have a drawerful of Blackbottoms, which I don't even know if they're still in business, the shorts are indestructable and mine are old, but real chamois is a totally different deal than synthetic stuff. Riding buddies have admitted to real chamois and Vaseline for distances so I know it's not just me.
I hope you find your answer- chafing is hell. Hope these tips help.
missliz