he works a 24 hr shift (firefighter) came home that morning wished me a happy birthday then asked me what I wanted to do, my answer and most common
"I don't know" and I told him I figured he would have had something, anything planned, since for his 30th 2 years ago, I took him out to a massage, lunch and dinner out, plus gifts, etc...I was still tired and getting back to a normal schedule from working all night the 6th, so I was content with a lazy day at home, which was fine, I took a 2 and a half hour nap, then asked him what he got me for my b-day? His answer was, uh, nothing... and he was serious - nothing - I got upset started crying and left to go pick up my kids from school, he then left and attempted to get a birthday cake which still sits untouched in the fridge.
It's been some small talk conversation/silent since - I asked him what was up yesterday since he didn't even say good-bye to me on his way out the door to work.
He says since I didn't tell him what I wanted for my birthday and he didn't have anyplace to put a gift, and that we are always together, what did I expect him to do? He came home this morinng I told him he really hurt me and I started to cry again, he wouldn't even look at me, I said it makes me feel like he doesn't care, and he went off rattling the same excuses, I said sitting there crying, "I'm sitting here crying, and you can't even tell me your sorry for hurting me." The whole time he wouldn't look me in the face, when I said it seems like he doesn't care he didn't even argue in the slightest... he says I need to see his point of view ??? What that he doesn't care and I'm hurt badly and he can't even say he's sorry
Last week before my birthday he was even telling me how it's my 30th and should be special, etc etc.
I left took the kids to the park, and just came home, not surprisingly he's not here - I think he went out on his road bike.... I just don't get it - I thought I was going to marry this man, he's always made comments about getting a bigger house in 4 years, when the boys get older...he always seemed so committed and now ??? I don't even know what to think, I'm deeply hurt and he can't seem to see that.
Any words of wisdom, encouragement, etc. even some man bashing might help : ) Thanks ladies.