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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Columbia, MO
    Posts
    2,041

    TE rocks (inspired by Queer Eye thread)

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    The other thread started out about clothes, so I thought I'd start a new one to continue the "how great is TE forum" discussion that developed.

    I've quit Bike Forums and a cycling advocacy yahoo group because they were so vitriolic. (I quit another yahoo cycling group for an entirely different reason.) TE is civil and there's a lot of intelligent discussion. In general people can disagree respectfully.

    I've felt quite amazed at times and wondered how this can be. Is it because TE is small? Or maybe because it is moderated? I have seen evidence of moderation--someone responds to something that bothered them, but I go back through the thread and can't find the original offensive message--that is a sign it was deleted by a moderator. Thought some people might get upset at being censored, I think active and aggressive moderators are the difference between a nasty group and a caring one like this.

    So, thanks to all for being respectful and compassionate, and many thanks to moderators who weed out disrespect and inappropriateness!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    8,548
    TE is smaller, that's true, but I prefer it to another board which is heavily moderated to the point of ridiculousness. I might add that TE has an excellent speedy platform. I am so spoiled that I HATE to go to the other forum, because it is so slow and cumbersome to use.
    Not to mention that I can go to Shopping with ONE CLICK any time.
    Mimi Team TE BIANCHISTA
    for six tanks of gas you could have bought a bike.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Posts
    9,324
    I think part of it is that we are a real community.

    In a real community you don't deliberately tick off your neighbors by letting your dog dig up their petunias.

    And if you discover that your dog has been digging up the petunias, you don't blame your neighbor or the petunias. You take responsibility for your dog and do your best to make amends.

    When your neighbor replaces the ruined petunias with daffodils you graciously accept them.

    I have no idea where that came from. But it was a nice break from working on my report cards.


    V.
    Discipline is remembering what you want.


    TandemHearts.com

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Trondheim, Norway
    Posts
    1,469
    Hmmm. What makes TE different from other forums ...?

    I think it helps that we're (mostly) wimmin. I doubt it's genetic, but at some cultural level we're certainly programmed to be considerate of others. Also, wimmin are often delegated the task of writing the family letters, keeping communication lines open. And the few men who hang out here are those who feel comfortable as participants in that kind of social climate. So, mebbe we've got, on average, a pretty high level of experience at expressing ourselves, including in writing, with some subtlety and diplomacy.

    That may be why we're overall pretty mature about the niceties of internet interactions. Communicating with the speed of the Internet but with the limitations of the written-only word can be tetchy at times. F'rinstance irony, including self-irony, is hard to convey. So somebody might try to poke fun at themselves and be taken as having insulted somebody else. It takes mature folks to make allowances and apologies and move on. I've seen that done here on several occasions.

    I think it also helps that we feel safe making face2face contact with one another when the opportunity arises. Some here have started out as strangers, then actually met, mebbe done rides together, partied ... generally had fun Some who bat for the women's team have even fallen in love And yet, the women's team gets along pretty well with the mixed team, and vice versa. As my sister says, it's all cool. Once we get to a certain level of trust, where "it's all cool" is taken as a basic premise, most wrinkles in the social fabric can be ironed out when they occasionally arise.
    Half-marathon over. Sabbatical year over. It's back to "sacking shirt and oat cakes" as they say here.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Skagit County, Washington
    Posts
    1,306

    Cheers!

    I'm only a short timer here, but I totally agree with what you all have said. There are not any other sites I have felt comfortable enough when reading to actually jump in and SAY something! Everyone is supportive and caring no matter what level of training ( or not training) we are all at. And so far everyone seems to be completely "tactful". I, for one, appreciate it!
    Everyone Deserves a Lifetime

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    foothills of the Ozarks aka Tornado Alley
    Posts
    4,193
    Women folk tend to be more civil.

    We do have nice gentlemen here as well who provide a refreshing perspective.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Mrs. KnottedYet
    Posts
    9,080
    Quote Originally Posted by Duck on Wheels View Post
    Hmmm. What makes TE different from other forums ...?
    On the other forums we sit back while we flame and/or our flamed. But on TE we get together and ride, then recline and have chocolate, maybe a lemon drop
    Fancy Schmancy Custom Road bike ~ Mondonico Futura Legero
    Found on side of the road bike ~ Motobecane Mixte
    Gravel bike ~ Salsa Vaya
    Favorite bike ~ Soma Buena Vista mixte
    N+1 bike ~ Brompton
    https://www.instagram.com/pugsley_adventuredog/

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Puget Sound area, Washington state
    Posts
    765
    Quote Originally Posted by Trek420 View Post
    On the other forums we sit back while we flame and/or our flamed. But on TE we get together and ride, then recline and have chocolate, maybe a lemon drop
    or maybe even Drambuie - if Bruno is around!
    But, then again, she's not lately, is she?? Cuz, methinks her sweetie is visiting, right, Bruno???

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    8,548
    yes, recently that countdown was down to 1... so... let's play some nice waltzes and maybe a few scottish tunes.
    Mimi Team TE BIANCHISTA
    for six tanks of gas you could have bought a bike.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Limbo
    Posts
    8,769
    Quote Originally Posted by Veronica View Post
    I think part of it is that we are a real community.
    As in christmas card exchanges, coffee&tea exchange, SS, and random acts of kindness (somebody should look for some socks soon)
    2008 Trek FX 7.2/Terry Cite X
    2009 Jamis Aurora/Brooks B-68
    2010 Trek FX 7.6 WSD/stock bontrager

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    1,131
    My .02

    While I do agree that our moderators are wonderful[Hi, guys!],IMVHO I believe that TE's most prolific posters help set the tone for this board.
    Everything in moderation, including moderation.

    2007 Rodriguez Adventure/B72
    2009 Masi Soulville Mixte/B18
    1997 Trek 820 Step-thru Xtracycle/B17

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    8,548
    I'll take that as a compliment.
    Mimi Team TE BIANCHISTA
    for six tanks of gas you could have bought a bike.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    3,436
    Quote Originally Posted by Veronica View Post
    I think part of it is that we are a real community.

    In a real community you don't deliberately tick off your neighbors by letting your dog dig up their petunias.

    And if you discover that your dog has been digging up the petunias, you don't blame your neighbor or the petunias. You take responsibility for your dog and do your best to make amends.

    When your neighbor replaces the ruined petunias with daffodils you graciously accept them.

    I have no idea where that came from. But it was a nice break from working on my report cards.


    V.
    Veronica, that was funny as hell.

    And...I think on this particular forum, the intentions of virtually everybody are genuinely good, even if things occasionally and inadvertently go slightly sideways. I mean, I really do think that is the case here. Knowing that helps you get past the occasional torn petunia and keep talking--and want to keep talking to--your neighbor.
    "My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved;I have been given much and I have given something in return...Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and an adventure." O. Sacks

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Florida panhandle
    Posts
    1,498
    Quote Originally Posted by salsabike View Post
    keep talking--and want to keep talking to--your neighbor.
    I think it's the "keep talking" that works so well here. Emphasis on "talking"--that is, not flaming. When things begin to go "slightly sideways" (love that phrase, Salsa!), we talk it over. Not to say that there are never any ruffled feathers, but things seem to get smoothed out pretty quickly.

    And I agree that it's great that there's a sort of foundational layer of regular posters that seem to keep the tone friendly and relatively even (with occasional spikes for bike porn ), but all comers are welcome. I come and go myself--busy life, like everyone else's--but TE is like the home you can always come back to, to relax and refresh, for bike talk, for other kinds of talk, even for chocolate and lemon drops!
    Bad JuJu: Team TE Bianchista
    "The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress." -Roth
    Read my blog: Works in Progress

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    around Seattle, WA
    Posts
    3,238
    yeppers, I think we know we need to play nice in the sandbox. Now if Brandi would give sandcastle building lessons....

    I admit I'm a TE forum junkie. MUST have my daily fix. MUST HAVE IT. If I'm silly enough to transfer to Seattle, at least I'll have lots of friends to ride with, and you might not leave me in the dust either. Does it get dusty up there?

    I like that we can have a difference of opinion, but for the most part we respect the fact that we're allowed to have a difference, discuss it, and move / ride / on.

    I salute my TE sisters & brothers with a toast of my morning coffee.
    Beth

 

 

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