Dear So and So

[Catrin]

Indeed, many hugs to both of you.

[SheFly]

Hugs to Mimi and Marni. I only hope that I could be half as courageous as the two of you if I were faced with similar situations.

Sending much love.
SheFly

[OakLeaf]

Dear 10-point buck who walked through my backyard this week,

It's already bow season, and people are gearing up for gun season. You and I both know that if people are interested in population management or feeding their families, they'll shoot your sisters and your girlfriends. But I don't know whether you realize that you look exactly like a trophy to a lot of people. Shooting you would be like stealing a Picasso from a museum so that no one else can enjoy it ... and people do that, too. Take a look at the survey flags, and stay on this side of them, okay?

[indysteel]

Oh, this makes me sad. Listen to Oak, Buck!!!!

[emily_in_nc]

Oh, this makes me sad. Listen to Oak, Buck!!!!

+1

And more hugs for Mimi and Marni, and wishes for strength going forward. Both of your situations are things I pray I never have to face.

[redrhodie]

(((Mimi))) I'm glad you're getting your health back. Keep taking care of yourself.

(((Marni))) Have you tried splitting your dose into 10mg twice a day? I hear that sometimes helps. What about Arimidex? Is that an option?

[Crankin]

Thinking of both of you, Mimi and Marni.

[snapdragen]

(((Mimi)))
(((Marni)))

++1

[divingbiker]

Mimi, I've been away from TE for a while, and just learned recently that RaleighDon had gone to that long bike ride in the sky. I'm so sorry for your loss, but am so glad you have lots of things to remember him by.

Marni, hang in there.

[Biciclista]

thanks Divingbiker. I think one of the reasons I am posting here is because I had NO IDEA what it would be like to lose my spouse. I mean, i knew it would hurt and be sad; but the sheer enormity of it all ; i had NO Idea. I had no idea that time would become meaningless, some things went too fast, some went too slow; and meanwhile, I forgot ALL sorts of things that happened before, during, after.... It has been the most significant thing that ever happened in my life. bigger waves than getting married or having a kid. SERIOUSLY!

anyway; I think comparatively, I am doing VERY Well. I am on a widow's forum and I give myself A's in comparison!

[Crankin]

Just a warning Mimi... beware of what you hear on a widow's forum. These types of groups are notorious for people who just never are able to heal. Not just widow's groups, but all kinds of groups on the internet. I've treated people who have become more depressed over their particular situation because of all of the negativity/misinformation they have heard on line. Of course you should give yourself an A.
Of course, I don't do any forums, except TE, as I just feel weird about it. But, when I lost my first baby at 8 months of pregnancy, I went to a group for grieving parents. After going to that, I kind of snapped out of my own grief. Really quickly. There were people there whose kids had died 10-20 years ago. I didn't want to be like them.
I know it's not the same, but your statement reminded of this and I hadn't thought of that group in years.

[alexis_the_tiny]

(((Mimi)))
(((Marni)))

Someone was telling me last night that after the darkness of every soul wrenching event in life, there's the joy of recovering from it and learning to bounce back.

[Biciclista]

well, that's probably why I look so good in comparison. I do get a lot of good out of it. They aren't going to make me any sadder, and I still do have to process my grief.
It just keeps coming in waves.. but there is more space between the waves now.
Interestingly, i had one woman pegged as the one who really wallowed in it, and in the last month I can see that even she is improving. There are whackjobs everywhere, but i think most of the people on the grief forum are simply people who lost their spouse and are in need of a little commonality. Your mother in law, cousin, father, friends just do NOT get it. It kinda takes one to know one.

[Catrin]

well, that's probably why I look so good in comparison. I do get a lot of good out of it. They aren't going to make me any sadder, and I still do have to process my grief.
It just keeps coming in waves.. but there is more space between the waves now.
Interestingly, i had one woman pegged as the one who really wallowed in it, and in the last month I can see that even she is improving. There are whackjobs everywhere, but i think most of the people on the grief forum are simply people who lost their spouse and are in need of a little commonality. Your mother in law, cousin, father, friends just do NOT get it. It kinda takes one to know one.

I am glad to hear that this forum is helping you. I've noted the same thing that Crankin mentioned which is why I normally avoid support groups online. The only other forum I really visit outside of TE is Mark's Daily Apple but that is something quite different. We are all in your cheering section, and I wish I lived closer to you so I could give you more personal support as a friend. I think you rock and and are one of the strongest women I know to have been able to deal with the loss of your beloved husband the way that you have.

[Crankin]

Dear Esteemed TE friends,
I can't remember where I wrote the thread about my BIL's fundraising efforts for his daughter who has leukemia, or what I called it. But, I wanted to give an update.
He's stopped talking to us and to his other 2 siblings because of our supposed "heartless cruelty." He called to tell DH about his "plan" to use the $ to help them buy a new house... because his daughter just has to have a new house to come home to, after her transplant. Retrofitting her room with an air filter was not good enough. OK, this has been his way of being since I've known him, but here's the good part. He can't sell his present house as he's under water. He can't get a cheaper car as he owes too much on that, too. DH tried to give him financial advice, like why don't you downsize? He has a good job and benefits, but in his eyes, well, the "economy is bad, everyone is underwater, so what." He's come up with some kind of scam to get the new house, mostly spending all of his retirement so the daughter won't have to be known as the "cancer kid," according to him. He says he will pay 2 mortgages until the present home sells. He got furious when we said we pay cash for our cars, even though they are nice, because we wait ten years to get new ones and basically pay ourselves to save up. He blamed that on me, like you had 2 incomes and only 2 kids and I have one income and 3 kids . We discussed choices and decisions... he said it's all Obama's fault .
We said that family support, friends, and faith should get them through this, and yes, while we can't imagine what they are going through, money does not buy happiness. DH suggested all of it is to make him feel better, as he has always done this. My FIL, FIL's sister, and sister's son all have/had bipolar d/o and I've always suspected BIL does, too. The crazy spending and scams are bordering on mania. He is getting counseling and is on an antidepressant, but I doubt he told the prescriber about the family history... antidepressants can cause mania to get worse. He describes being sad, can't sleep, etc, but no matter what we say, we're evil.
We really wanted to help, by giving advice, but he can't hear us. I feel badly for his wife and all of the kids.