((((Alexis)))). If you aren't already, have you ever considered talking to a therapist of some sort? I struggled with similar feelings for a long time, and it was definitely one of the bigger issues that my long-time therapist and I eventually tackled. Part of it is that I had to work long and hard at changing certain of my internal dialogues. I also had to work to find the types of people and activities that would fulfill me. For far too long, I beat myself up and felt estranged because most of my then-friends' social lives revolved around hitting the town and, to some extent, drinking. Those were things that made me feel exceedingly uncomfortable. It wasn't until I changed my social circles to include ygoa, cycling, and other physical pursuits that I found a social life more in keeping with my goals and interests. Anyway, I'd encourage you to talk to a professional if you're open to that.
Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.
--Mary Anne Radmacher