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Thread: Dear So and So

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Bendemonium
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    9,673

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    Dear Corporate Grand Poo-bahs,

    Please don't make that email you just sent be a tease. Your loyal hardworking employees would love to have a corporate charity cycling club. I've wanted this for the 9 yrs I've slaved away on your behalf. Please make this a promise and follow through on it. And, let us choose events other than 6-day gonzo tours. These events all have their place but we also need rides where we can recruit newbie riders and get them sucked into the joys of riding. Then, we'll have double the effect - raise funds and grow the cycling community.

    Your hardworking, dedicated employee.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Off eating cake.
    Posts
    1,700

    Angry

    Dear many, many, many American-based websites,

    I do not live in the U.S. of A. One would think that when I click to say that I do, in fact, live in NZ, it might occur to you that I cannot select a particular state to go on my billing address as I DO NOT FREAKING WELL LIVE IN ANY OF THEM!!!!! This is particularly irritating when I wish to make a donation in memory of a friend who passed away recently. Would it be so damned hard for a few more of you websites to offer "none" as an option or automatically make filling in what state I come from non-compulsory once I have selected a non-U.S./Canada country?

    I shall wait with un-bated breath for you to remedy this idiocy.

    - tlkiwi

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Mrs. KnottedYet
    Posts
    9,049
    Dear Wage Slave, Cubicle Dweller oops Dedicated Employee,

    Thanks for suggesting that we have a corporate cycling team. Our CFO and the accounting firm of Dewey Cheathum and Howe have done exhaustive resarch over a round of golf and calculated that for the cost of printing jerseys we could either buy a box of golf balls with the co. logo or an entire College Bowl Game which we also own.

    We think the average employee and potential customer would rather see the seemingly more acheivable fitness level of football or golf (run 5 seconds, run to the sideline and get oxygen or .... hit a ball, get into a cart). We think our market share and employees are intimidated by the idea of riding a bike 60-100 miles for one day much less multiple days. * One of your coworkers wrote us "I can't ride that far so I don't even want to hear about it" **

    We've done our job encouraging fitness, we sent out a company wide e-mail that everyone should excercise more. That was followed by the one that profits are down and folks should work harder if they want to keep their sorry jobs and health insurance which was followed by a desk drop of excersise that can be done at your desk.

    Remember we are now merged as ABC- FYI - ATT-Round Table Pizza - Fritos - Hertz Rental Car - Dr. Pepper - 711 stores - ESPN so we have an interest in people sitting and watching satelite TV (our product) while they consume junk food (our product) and drive (our product) to the store and buy more of our products.

    We will support walkathons as long as they are: flat, no longer than 3 miles, we have to sponsor because our competitors are too and our CFO has the option of just sitting by the snack area and not walking at all.

    Who do you think you work for, Cliff Bars? You may have to after we read this.

    We don't care about fitness, we don't have to....***

    Sincerely

    Corporate Grand Poo-bahs
    PS: Hope you like the corporate water bottles we sent you. Sorry they don't fit in a bike. What do you mean you can't wear the t-shirt or hats we sent you on a century? You mean there are special clothes?

    * Seriously no disrespect to the skill and fitness level it actaully takes to play golf and or football.
    ** Someone actually said that to me.
    *** Yes, I work there
    Last edited by Trek420; 03-06-2005 at 08:14 AM.
    Fancy Schmancy Custom Road bike ~ Mondonico Futura Legero
    Found on side of the road bike ~ Motobecane Mixte
    Gravel bike ~ Salsa Vaya
    Favorite bike ~ Soma Buena Vista mixte
    N+1 bike ~ Brompton
    https://www.instagram.com/pugsley_adventuredog/

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    14

    Trek420, Tlkiwi

    Ah ladies, my heart cries out to you...

    Tlkiwi, sorry to say but frankly the US has its head up its you-know-what when it comes to the rest of world....rather depressing to some of us who would like to join the world community.....

    Trek420, if you're waiting for the corporate world to become personable and caring, well, it could be a wait. You are, I think, assuming that most corporations are concerned with the well-being of their employees. Sadly, that it not the case unless it serves their best interest, and we are living in an age where that is not in the short term the case. Think about it - pensions are disappearing, layoffs ("reenineering") are becoming the standard - do you see any sign that corporations are concerned or investing in their employees' welfare? Corporations are not human - they are entities whose primary purpose is to value - at any cost. Sad, but true.

    Gee, don't I sound like a cheery soul today sorry

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Bendemonium
    Posts
    9,673

    Dear Guardian Angels:

    Thank you for looking out for me and giving me a level head in emergencies. You saved my tush today as well as Daisy and her brand new Topolino wheels. When the doofas with the giant side view mirror and no helmet decided to turn left across my 23 MPH path without looking or signaling, because of you, I didn't panic, swerved with him as far into the traffic lane as safely possible and then leaned into him. The pros would have been proud. I took the blow and stayed upright. Doofas? Well, he's kinda shaken and bloody but he, 2 guys that stopped and my riding buddy all agreed it was not my fault. The guy even admitted several times that he was completely at fault, did not look, did not signal and was not wearing a helmet. Guardian Angels, I'm having a huge rush of guilt that I did something wrong so please look after Doofas also. He was quite the gentleman and said he was fine, plus everyone kept saying it was not my fault so I'm focusing on that and the ice pack on my arm. Thanks for keeping this fracas to a relatively minor blip.

    SK

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Posts
    9,324
    Geez, maybe there's same bad karma going around. Lately everyone you ride with has a mishap. I hope it's not catching 'cause I really enjoy our group rides.

    Seriously, wow! Sounds like some awesome bike handling skills and you're not at fault. I'm glad you're okay.

    V.
    Discipline is remembering what you want.


    TandemHearts.com

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Mrs. KnottedYet
    Posts
    9,049
    Dear OLN,

    Did you see the bike handleing skills on our Sadiekate? She did an emergency turn with locking wheels like a pro. That probably saved the life of the doofus who cut her off.

    Can you put this gal on a pro team or give her a team bike or jersey or sumthin? You can't coach balance and calm like that, you got it or you don't.

    Signed

    I wanna be Sadiekate when I grow up
    Fancy Schmancy Custom Road bike ~ Mondonico Futura Legero
    Found on side of the road bike ~ Motobecane Mixte
    Gravel bike ~ Salsa Vaya
    Favorite bike ~ Soma Buena Vista mixte
    N+1 bike ~ Brompton
    https://www.instagram.com/pugsley_adventuredog/

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Bendemonium
    Posts
    9,673
    Dear Veronica and Trek,

    You all are so sweet and, Trek, you're silly; a cookie would probably help. The black and blue knot on my upperarm looks like Veronica took some Rockville Revenge on me. The guy probably outweighed me by 50 lbs or more so my speed gave me enough momentum to counteract his weight. Both of us were lucky. You know, in 20 years of riding I have never seen so many near misses. The motorcyle stunt on Sunday was really freaky. So, thank the Guardian Angels for looking after Bubba and Nancy.
    Last edited by SadieKate; 03-08-2005 at 07:09 PM.

  9. #39
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Mrs. KnottedYet
    Posts
    9,049

    motorcyle stunt?

    motorcyle stunt?
    Fancy Schmancy Custom Road bike ~ Mondonico Futura Legero
    Found on side of the road bike ~ Motobecane Mixte
    Gravel bike ~ Salsa Vaya
    Favorite bike ~ Soma Buena Vista mixte
    N+1 bike ~ Brompton
    https://www.instagram.com/pugsley_adventuredog/

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Bendemonium
    Posts
    9,673
    Sunday we started our ride kinda stragggled out. So, Nancy and Bubba are bringing up the rear and from what I understand a motorcylist went out of control behind them. Remember these are winding wine country roads that are wonderful riding for both the motorized and nonmotorized two-wheelers as long as you stay in control. Anyway, the motorcycle followed by its rider went tumbling by about a foot from Bubba's wheel. Harley came to rest against a bridge abutment in front of Bubba. Rider come to rest upon striking motorcycle. Bubba said he could hear the screech of metal on pavement from quite a ways back and could do nothing but wait. Whew!

    V is also referring to the fact that 2 of our friends have been T-boned on the American River Bike Path in the last 2 weeks in separate incidents. That thing is narrow and has a ton of bike, skater and runner traffic on it. You have to pay attention and keep space been you and the rider in front. Unfortunately, our friends were the ones in front and couldn't control the daydreaming of the person(s) behind. I am sure hoping that the worst is over.
    Last edited by SadieKate; 03-08-2005 at 07:22 PM.

  11. #41
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Far from home
    Posts
    373
    Dear Goddess of Tenderly Administered Lessons,

    Thank you for watching over me the last couple of rides and keeping unsavory events from becoming full blown emergencies. First was that ride out on 360. There I was, ripping downhill, looking at the computer, imploring "C'mon, 40!" (mph, that is). Then came that infernal, repetitive racket from the back end. What the!! Oh, must be that 2 inch galvanized spike stuck in my tire!!! In your infinite wisdom, you made sure the spike, amazingly, missed the tube. Then you sent that rider with the allen tool set, who extracted said spike from my tire. And you made sure the tire didn't blow on the way home. Muchas Gracias.

    Then last week I underestimated the length of the ride, overestimated the amount of daylight left. With only one of two bar end flashers and the little reflective bits on the backs of my shoes for safety, you got me home without incident. Oh, and thanks for leaving that fleece jacket by the side of the road. Turns out I didn't need it, but it could have saved my life.

    Ever grateful,
    fixedgeargirl

  12. #42
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    587
    Trek, your the best...and I also want to be SadieKate when I grow up...but
    here is what is hissing me off today...

    Dear Higher Being Whoever You May Be:

    WHAT!!!! ARE YOU NOT LOOKING WHEN PERVERTS ABDUCT BEAUTIFUL 9
    YEAR OLDS. Your lack of interception has turned me into an overly paranoid
    mother of 2 who was reluctant to leave her son at school today with just one teacher for a Saturday detention...(had gum, gum against rules, Catholic school). WHY, in your name did you let that little baby be taken, and then made her poor family to suffer by the questioning they had to endure. I am very angry at you and hope you can shed some light on this for me.

    karen

  13. #43
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Bendemonium
    Posts
    9,673
    Dear MassBikeBabe,
    Why me? I agree with you about the perverts but wonder about you wanting to be me. Makes me feel like the Loreal is wearing off. Thank you . . . . I think.

    SK

    Dear TE Girls,
    Please tell me whatever it takes to get my b*** on the trainer and turn on the Evil Coach Troy. The rains are back, I probably won't get to ride Diablo tomorrow with V and Kim (and Jo?), and I'm in a bad mood. I know a shot of endorphins would help and that a turn on the trainer would provide them, but watching figureskating and eating chocolate sounds far more tempting right now.

  14. #44
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Vernon, British Columbia
    Posts
    2,226
    sadiekate....watch the figure skating *while* you ride the trainer. when you're done you'll have burned enough calories you can enjoy a little chocolate guilt-free



    did that work?

    Namaste,
    ~T~

  15. #45
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Bendemonium
    Posts
    9,673
    Dear LBTC,

    Maybe, but what do I do when I fall off the trainer laughing because they keep falling down and are exhausted after 4 mins of effort? Now, for those of you who might be offended, I do enjoy figureskating. I just don't understand how you can be exhausted after only 4 mins of effort -- unless you don't do any endurance training. And, this is the WORLD's for goodness sake. What would you think if the NYC or the Joffrey Ballet kept falling down? Wouldn't you think they'd change the choreography or something before the curtain goes up? Even the pairs who do far more risky manuevers don't fall down as much as the singles. Then, there's Nedly whose still competing in extreme endurance events and smoking the young'ns.

    I wanna be like Ned! OK, I guess that means I gotta get my b*** on the trainer. Thanks for any and all words of encouragement.

    Thanks,
    SK

 

 

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