Realty check - body image

[teigyr]

Hey maybe they were those special edible underwear, some sort of "cole slaw" variety? Maybe they were "supposed" to shred?

Like stripper "breakaway" granny panties? Or, um, maybe they were edible and tasted of the "early bird dinner".

I exchanged them and let it be done. The poor saleswoman though...

[ACG]

I was an A cup, then after 2 kids a B cup, now with age a D cup. I have 2 daughters, both of them are D cups!!! Try shopping with 2 young women whos breasts are still pointing north, tummies are flat and who's behinds don't jiggle, then we can talk about body image!

I get measured every 6 months and buy a bra based on comfort, not the price. I've never to spent $155 on a bra. I work in an office and have to wear business attire, so headlights are not appropriate. Coverage is appropriate. I only wear sports bras when I'm riding or working out.

My advice, if the cost makes you uncomfortable then the bra will too.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Mary,
You give us something to think about, for sure.
Hey, but maybe someday if you continue to lose weight you will be able to get the excess hanging boob skin reduced. I think it may be a relatively simple operation and perhaps not as costly as one might fear- and not invasive like getting implants. You might even find a doctor willing to take time payments?
And i wonder if somehow it might help alleviate some back problems for you- you never know.
Something you could perhaps look forward to doing eventually...

[mary9761]

Thanks Lisa, I know that being top heavy has always been a problem for the back. When I was in marching band I had to not only haul my own upper weight, but I marched with a very big horn and had to try to keep everything level. When the back isn't bothered by the weight, the shoulders are permanently grooved from straps.

[Aggie_Ama]

I saw a poor girl this weekend at the coast who was easily a DDD. She couldn't have been over 17 and was fairly thin for toting those behemouths. My good friend went through 2 years of waiting for the insurance to agree her breat reduction was a medical necessity. The next day we saw a lady with the most obnoxious boob job ever. Seriously, is it necessary to look like you have a canteloupe under your skin?

I agree on the suggestion of the full coverage Body By Victoria line. So comfortable! I usually buy the ugly colors on sale, heck I don't care if it feels comfortable.

[teigyr]

... it's hard to feel sexy with all the loose skin as I lose weight and it's hard to feel sexy weighing over 300 pounds (thankfully not back there yet, but approaching it again.)
Sorry I know TMI..

no, not TMI at all. Do what is healthy for you and what makes you feel good. When all's said and done, then get someone to fix the excess skin.

There is so much we don't have control of and when you find that place where you're happy and want to stay, ask for help to make it better. The cycling is such a good step to all of that.

I never believed in plastic surgery at all. Starting from way back when til about 10 years ago, I've had multiple surgeries on my abdomen. No matter what I do, I've lost muscle tone and it sags. DH, who is adverse to "beautification" as I am, even said that if I ever wanted, it should be fixed.

The way I see it there is vanity and there is "fixing". Be healthy, be happy, and for those things you can't do, have someone help you.

I know it's a struggle though.

[deedolce]

Ooog. I've been living in sports bras. Went to the VS site, and measured myself. My chest size is 1" smaller than my band size!! If there was a 36AAAA, that would probably be me.

My top, or lack of, is my biggest area of self consciousness, in the buff. Enough to make me stay single, even. Bleh. I look good on a bike, though!

[lph]

Well it's hard to say not having been there, but I think that if I ever gained and then lost a large amount of weight, I'd consider surgery to remove loose skin part of the "fixing" process towards maintaining a healthy, functional body, and not vanity at all.

Deedolce - the flattest-chested girl I ever knew (I swear, her chest was like a boys with 2 pea-sized bumps on it, she looked about 11) is also outgoing, funny, outdoorsy and is now married and has three children. You'd be surprised how many guys really don't care much about boobs.

And I hate the assumption that I'd rather be "bigger" than A/AA too. I wear unpadded bras, and dammit, that's what I look like!

[Dianyla]

no, not TMI at all. Do what is healthy for you and what makes you feel good. When all's said and done, then get someone to fix the excess skin.

Seconding this. A good friend of mine used to be obese in the 220-230 lbs range. She has completely changed her lifestyle and is an extremely fit person, teaching yoga, and being active. She's like a size 0-2 now. However, after losing all that weight she had a lot of loose skin. It was like pizza dough, she could pull and stretch it out 6" away from her body, and she actually had to tuck it into her pants. She had a pannus reduction surgery earlier this year and is thrilled with the results.

Just make sure you go with a good surgeon, it is a fairly major procedure.

[Kano]

Yup, there CAN be health issues related to the excess skin flapping around, it's not just an aesthetic thing, so this is a "fix" rather than a vanity issue. I think, if I find myself with flaps, getting it repaired will also be a nice incentive to maintain the loss, though I can imagine I'll want to be sure I've stabilized before doing anything that major!

But body image -- it's quite a thing, isn't it? We were at an "art in the park" show a week or so ago, and there was an artist exhibiting "fat girl art" as my girls named it. Cute stuff, kind of inspirational in that these zaftig females were doing all sorts of fun things, not just sitting around being fat as it's so easy to do (hey, I KNOW this to be true!) One picture had our chunky lady looking into the mirror at herself and seeing a lovely thin, curvy reflection.

I look at it and say to myself, how TRUE! -- I've always been surprised to see myself in a mirror or especially photos, and have a more outside look at myself: That's ME????? Yikes! (Lately, I'm seeing myself in the mirror and saying, That's me? Cool! -- I'm not sure I want that deflated by a photo at this point!)

On the other hand, my oldest daughter, who's battled with her body image over the years too -- looks at that same picture and says it's totally BACKWARDS. She says the thin version should be the one looking into the mirror...

Karen in Boise

[snapdragen]

I agree on the suggestion of the full coverage Body By Victoria line. So comfortable! I usually buy the ugly colors on sale, heck I don't care if it feels comfortable.

I thought I was the only one who did this.....well, my grey leopard spotted Body by Victoria bra isn't really ugly....

[Tuckervill]

Boob-related hijack:

Son (13) and I were going on a trip, and he noticed the list of items to pack in my PDA. One of them was abbreviated: OTSBH. He said, "What's that?"

"The OTSBH? That's an Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder."

I waited and waited and waited for it to sink in and when it finally did he said, "You are a sick woman."

Karen

[Kitsune06]

Yesterday DH took me to my favourite store and the owner, my friend, got me all dolled up in some fab new outfits including the total alpha b**ch work clothes. hmmmm Well, that was cool and made me feel wonderful, even though some of the sizes were a large....

Then we went to a very nice bra store and I was fitted properly. It's been a few years. I used to be a nice tidy 34C. Well, now I'm a 34D, and in some brands a 34 DD

This is pretty conflicting. I hate to spend $155 on a great new bra that actually fits when I'm just beginning to get back into shape. I don't know what to think of the extra size in those cups And, of course, DH has no idea why this is an odd and difficult time for me and how I feel about my body.

Anyone else find bra shopping difficult, unfun and sometimes terrible for body image?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

Welll I actually had kind of the opposite experience recently.
A couple years ago I was pretty solidly an A- or something. With my hair cut short and a bandanna on, baggy shorts, I could actually go topless without getting second glances. I hated bras. They rode up, the shoulder straps slid down, etc etc, I said 'Eff this' and started wearing sports bras all the time.

...then they started to be sore etc. Very uncomfortable. Hated wearing bras.
...
had a funny little thought around a month ago, and decided to raid X's underwear drawer, found a C and put it on. I was amazed at how close it was to fitting. Went to the store and realized I was comfortably a B+, not quite a C. Wow. I mean Wow. Shocked.
and this happened at the same time as the waist-trimming and sculpting from all the running around and order processing at TE... so I realized all of a sudden that wearing a 'real' bra (not a smooshing sports bra) did really nice things for my bod and I looked so much better in more form-fitting clothes than the uber-baggies I had been wearing all the time.

So yeah.... I'm happily at 36B now, but I'm kinda wondering if I'll be at 36C next year (?) but it was nice.

[Wahine]

I'm a solid 36 A. It's not easy to find a 36 A and like many other women here I don't want a whole lot of extra padding. DH calls those FAB - false advertising bras. Any way, I've just started to go braless except at work. I wear tight tees and the whole bit. Don't care anymore. But hey, it's important to be comfortable in your skin so you need to do what you need to do to feel good about yourself. As for my smaller than average breasts, DH says that anything more than a mouthful is a waste.

[bmccasland]

Since my weight has fuxuated, am essentially a size larger than when I moved here 5 years ago, but that menopause thing has really messed me up. So I took myself to Victoria's Secret, begged for mercy and got fitted again. Just because I wore a 32 b-c ten years ago apparently doesn't mean it fits now. They put me in a 34 c, then handed me a box full of 34c and suggested I try on several to pick ones I like. Took awhile, but it was the right thing to do. In fact I forced a friend of mine to do the same thing when she had me go shopping with her - she's large chested and always wears sports bras, but needed to get something that fit to wear under a nice dress.

Clothes - I find that sales help makes the difference. My current favorite is Banana Republic because their sales people actually help, and will tell you when something doesn't look right. When I lived in rural areas I did a lot of catalogue shopping, but would often get clothes that didn't fit right (especiallly slacks and skirts).

And shopping in general - being short, and medium build, I've never had much of a selection in the 'petit" department; until I moved here. That *inbreeding* of French bloodlines means there are LOTS of short people in this city - I'm no longer short! I'm average height. It is very strange to be taller than some men in the office!