Quote Originally Posted by maillotpois View Post
I am mostly super happy to be back on the bike
That's the thing that keeps me from really pushing myself - I don't ever want to be in a situation where I'm miserable on my bike. I want to always be super happy, or at least reasonably happy, on my bike. That's why I bailed out in the middle of my last two brevets - well, for the second one, it was that and the fear of winding up in an oxygen tent, but that's another matter.

It's like there's that next psychological & physiological step that I'm just not willing to take. Fear of the unknown - in this case, how my mind and how my body would react to severe stress.

Basically, I'm afraid that, if I ever did a truly exhausting ride like the one MP did (or, at least, one that would be as exhausting for me, LOL), I'd throw my bike in the garage and never want to ride it again. And that would be really sad, because I love riding so much now. I don't ever want to lose the luv.

Of course, that puts me in a bit of a dilemma, doesn't it? I won't know until I try, yet I'm afraid to try.

Eh, it's not like I'm that worried about it, I'm just pondering some deep thoughts (gah) on a rainy morning. Sooner or later I'll take that next step - tho it'll probably be little gradual baby steps rather than one big jump - it'll probably just take me longer than some.