How do you explain one of them...

[Kimmyt]

OKay, well that was supposed to be 'how do you explain TO one of them...'

I have been working like a madwoman recently. Not out of choice. I am not, generally, a workaholic. However I am a perfectionist. I like to do my job well, and to completion, not leaving tasks unfulfilled at the end of a day if possible.

My managers have seemed to notice, and as such have been giving me more and more responsibility. Which, while I am complimented, is a bit frustrating.

See, it's cycling season now. This time last year I was riding 3x a week after work at 4:30. I was putting miles in.

This month at my new-ish position I am working 10-12 hour days every day, from 6 in the morning until 5 or 6 at night. I am working my *** off, not getting a lunch (well i get it, I just have to work as I eat at my computer). Today I promised myself a ride with the local group, but since the weather looked bad this a.m. I didn't put my bike in the car. (hey, it was 5:30 in the morning, sue me for not thinking straight!)

Well the thing is, I got in to work at 6, so technically I should get out around 2. 5:00 pm today I was still working feverishly, and I was the last one in the building practically. The sun had come out and it was glorious and warm and sunny out. My heart felt like it was crumbling away as I finally left work, wondering if I'd ever get a relief from the insane work schedule and get to enjoy MY things.

The thing is, I don't know if I can bring this up to my boss. When I bring up the amount of hours I'm putting in, I get sympathetic sounds and a mention of comp time. But comp time only can happen when I have time for it to happen. If they keep assigning me more and more work, I won't have any spare time to take off early.

i don't know how to tell her, a woman who lives her job, or any of my other managers/bosses who are also workaholics (such are the troubles of working with research PhD's) that I HAVE to cycle? If I come in to work early, I should get out early. Just because I'm leaving the same time as someone who came in at 9 am doesn't mean I've worked a full day. I've worked MORE than a full day.

I don't know how to bring it up, to let her know that I cannot skimp on any more cycling time, without sounding like a little kid. I mean, non-cyclists really just don't understand. You say I was supposed to go cycling and they hear 'I wanted to go ride my bike'. Which are two entirely different things. They picture you wanting to go toodle around on a trail or ride in circles in a cul de sac. They don't understand that it's training and it's as important as work.

I guess I am just frustrated and not wanting to sound to my bosses like I'm ungrateful or slacking on my job (I know I'm not, I'm giving 100% more than most people that work at my department).

Any help? Commiseration? Advice (other than get a new job... believe me, thought of that one already...)

K.

[Grog]

I'm not sure you need to mention the reason why you do not want to work from 6 to 6. Whether it's to cycle or take care of kids or watch TV or bake the world's biggest chocolate chip cookie (!!!) is not really their business.

Can you simply, gently, diplomatically refuse some of the new assignations you're given? It might be pointless to explain (to them) that you want to lead a balanced personal life...

[solobiker]

Well, I don't have to much good advice for you. My husband is in the same postion, he gets into work around 6am..his boss is usually there by 530 and is a major work aholic so my DH has a hard time leaving after a "normal" work day. His boss says "on one works a 8 or 9 hour day anymore". Are you able to ride durring lunch? Is there anyway you can commute? I know it is not the same as a training ride. I hope you find a situation that works for you. to bad you couldn't work 4 10s, since you are already working 10 plus hours a day. Is there anyway you could leave early, go ride then do more work at home...I know it is not ideal, but I am trying to help you outl

[HappyAnika]

That's a really tough position to be in. I happen to be "a researh PhD" at a gov't institution, but luckily most of my colleagues go by the 40 hour work week, myself included. Not so for my friends who work for companies. If it was me, I would perhaps just start working 8 hours a day, then when the work isn't done and the boss complains, point out that I am only one person and can only do one person's worth of work. Ok, that would be the passive agressive route. In the past when my husband was working 60 hour weeks including weekends, I suggested he might politely tell his boss that he's being overworked and needs some help. That worked well for him, they gave him half the time of a worker bee to pick up some of the slack. But then his boss is pretty reasonable.

Perhaps it was a mistake for me to walk out of a meeting last week at 5 pm because I had to go ride? Really, I was meeting my husband to ride home, and if I didn't meet him he would have thought the worst. (The meeting was scheduled to end at 5). I don't do meetings past 5 unless its really really really important. I hate staying until 5 just because other people can't get up early.

[Bluetree]

I have a long work week, too. My usual week is about 60-65 hours, and can get up to 80 hours a week during the busy season. But I still try to get in 75-100 miles a week (+ swim and run), even if I have to get up at 3am and go out riding covered in lights. (I think I'd go crazy otherwise.)

Fortunately, I can ride all year around in Southern California weather. Nope, I don't have much of a life outside of working/training. But I love what I do so that makes a difference.

If I were you, I'd explain the need to limit the number of hours a week, and not apologize for it. And, I'd change my phrasing from "cycling" to "training." Most workaholics can appreciate goals, and if you tell them you are working towards a race, you might get some slack!

[KnottedYet]

"If you want a project done, give it to someone who is busy."

You are too good. Start saying "no" or delegating. Or if they ask you to do something new, ask them which of your existing projects they want you to drop for it. Or tell them you want to hire an assistant. (students always need internships, too)

If you keep doing extra, they'll keep giving you extra.

[Offthegrid]

This happens to me, too. My workload has tripled since I was hired and I'm on call more than twice the amount of time they told me I would be when I'm hired. I fortunately don't have to put in more hours typically (sometimes); I just try to work much faster. But my office is FULL of workaholics.

Is it possible for you to bike commute to work? Then at least you'd get a ride -- and you could possibly take a ride at lunch, too.

[KSH]

That's a tough situation.

I think I would approach it by talking to your Boss about what makes you a more productive employee. Being healthy and having a balanced life will keep you from burning out on the job and eventually leaving.

If you are a good employee who your boss values... then he/she would want to you to keep working hard... but not burn out and leave.

You don't have to say... I MUST CYCLE... instead... just say that to stay sane and productive, you need to have some time for physical activity. And you are more than willing to put in the time, but there are some days when you might only work an 8 hour day, and you hope she/he can respect that... so you can keep working hard and not go nuts.

[Mr. Bloom]

just say that to stay sane and productive, you need to have some time for physical activity. And you are more than willing to put in the time, but there are some days when you might only work an 8 hour day, and you hope she/he can respect that... so you can keep working hard and not go nuts.

As a boss, I would honor this...but I encourage you to write out what you would say and practice it before you actually say it. Be sincere in your delivery.

I make sure that people know that I (and they) are better off with balance in life. I honor this and model it for my employees.

Regardless of your political orientation, you have to acknowledge that President Bush is able to have scheduled exercise everyday...and he leads one of the largest countries in the world!

So, if the prez can do it, we can too.

[East Hill]

I don't think you have to say "I need to go ride my bike", so much as "I need some time to do physical activity which will allow me to focus better on the tasks at hand, and I'll need this much time per day to fit in this exercise".

I know what it's like, I've been working six days a week for far too long because the management here do not wish to make the person who has a bid to relieve me actually LEARN the job. He's on 'light duty' because HE's stressed. Apparently I don't count. So, I ride my bike everyday.

East Hill

[Blueberry]

As a boss, I would honor this...but I encourage you to write out what you would say and practice it before you actually say it. Be sincere in your delivery.

I make sure that people know that I (and they) are better off with balance in life. I honor this and model it for my employees.

Mr. Silver-

Sadly, I would say that this puts you in the minority of bosses, based on what I've seen. Of course, I work in a worse than average profession (law) in a very large firm.

Our billable hours requirements actually jumped significantly a couple of months ago, and we haven't been paid any more money. The entire attitude is "how many hours can we squeeze out of each person." Need to take care of a family member? Only if it's a convenient time. You're really sick - you can't take a sick day unless it's convenient (which means almost never). You thought you were leaving early (6) - ha - have this 6 hour project on my desk before your go (nope, not a court or client deadline). I can never predict when I'll be home. There's been half serious discussion about what kind of stimulants (e.g. caffeine) and in what doses most effectively let people get 4 hours of sleep so we can work more. Their entire concept of work-life balance is 1) being passionate about your work so it is your life and 2) telling you how to hire people to do other stuff in your life so that you can work more.

So....kudos to you for what you're doing! I can only wish there were more like you out there.

[Crankin]

In the past few years, I have stopped taking on extra things, like committee work, projects, etc. Now I know teaching is a little different, but once you set the expectation that you are the one that does everything better and "more," it is hard to scale back. Thankfully, I can manage getting up early and I get to work at 6:40, when I really don't need to be there until 7:30. I get most of my work done then (planning, etc) as well as during my regularly scheduled planning period. I think that people know that once the weather turns nicer, I am out of here by 3. I tend to stay later one day a week. I grade papers at home, after my ride or other exercise.
But, I admit to cancelling other types of obligations such as dental appointments because the weather was nice!
But, this is one of the reasons I am resigning/retiring in June. I am ready for some fun. I never thought I would want to stop working at age 53; I have always been a type A workaholic.
By the way, my husband is a boss like Mr. Silver. He sets the tone by prominantly displaying his bike in his office and going on lunch rides, or riding to work. His boss runs at lunch. The whole company works on the premise that happy employees (and fit ones) are productive employees.

[SheFly]

You need to set expectations. From my perspective, your managers are giving you more work/responsibilitiy because you do a good job. If you don't say anything about the additionaly workload, and continue to do a good job, they are going to continue to give you more work/responsibility. It's a viscious cycle.

I decided after my last job that my work/life balance was extremely important to me. The best approach that I ever took was to be upfront with my boss about what I would and wouldn't do. After working together for 5 years, he now knows that Tues is sprint night, Weds is TT night, and Thurs is team training night, and that I don't work past 11:30 am on Friday. The flip of that is that I am also flexible enough that I can be available if something really requires my attention.

So, I was open and honest, continue to get my work done (well), and am flexible enough to meet my manager's requirements. In return, he tells me that I have a terrific work/life balance . Have the conversation - it's really worth it.

SheFly

[Jo-n-NY]

Although I do not work 11 hours a day, my commute to Manhattan makes it an 11 hour day. I leave at 6:12 by 5:12. When daylight savings time begins I am out on my bike right when I get home. I have food prepared that I can quickly heated up and I am out the door usually for no more than an hour, but my motto is something is better than nothing and it keeps me happy. I use to live just 10-15 minutes from my house until they moved the company so this was a major adjustment for me.

I agree with the others, that if you need to leave earlier a few days a week or whatever it takes to keep you mentally happy, do not tell your employer exactly what it is for. What is important to you, is usually not important to the other person.

I think with some adjustments figured out here and there, this will all work out for you and you will be back on your bike.

PS...in the winter I continue my schedule but on the trainer to keep the momentum.

~ JoAnn

[LBTC]

Kimmy, you've had some good advice here, and I'll add my two cents, too.

Ask for help. It's something that those of us who do a good job are loathe to do (why is that? does it make us look weak or something?), but you are clearly given more than work than you have the capacity to do during reasonable hours.

Make a list of the tasks a junior employee (is there a spare board, a filing clerk, any temp employees?), could take on that would give you the time to get the important work done. Have a clear and concise plan of what your goal is and what is going to fall off the plate without more resources at your disposal.

The other idea I have is that if you are working until 5 anyway, do not go to work early. Go for your ride in the morning before you go to work, and arrive at work with your exercise done, full of energy and....at the same time as the rest of the workers.

Don't do what I did. I was doing longer hours (not as long as you, but apparently I don't have the tolerance for that), and didn't ask for help and my body basically told me to stop. I haven't actually missed any work, except for medical tests, since we started working towards the diagnosis of Crohn's that I received in November, but my work has suffered (my filing is about 3 months behind), and the rest of my life has suffered, too. You do not want to be here. Do not work this hard, your health is far too important!!

Good luck!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~