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  1. #61
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Perth, Western Australia
    Posts
    5,316

    maury

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    Maury,

    Your dear kathy looked like an amazing lady and lucky to have such a wonderful man in her life.

    My wish for you is strength. Be strong for you and take your time to heal.

    I know i'm far away but my thoughts are with you & your family.

    c

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Santa Rosa, CA
    Posts
    5

    Friday ride

    I'm planning to go on our local club ride tomorrow. This was the same 2nd Friday ride that Kathy was headed to when she left us. I may take the same route that she did, around the same time. Maybe I'll see the same recycling truck and I can see if he uses his signal or if his emergency flashers are on (which I was told by another driver recently is their policy). I'm a bit obsessed with creating an image of what she saw last.
    Yesterday was one of the best I've had in a while. Today started off with lots of sadness. I expect this will be the case for a while; these ups and downs. I should think of them as "rollers" like we used to blow over on the tandem. Kathy loved to stand up and blast past single bikes on the small uphills. ; )
    Keep the rubber side down all.

    Maury

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Riding my Luna & Rivendell in the Hudson Valley, NY
    Posts
    8,403
    Quote Originally Posted by Maury Cohen View Post
    I'm planning to go on our local club ride tomorrow. This was the same 2nd Friday ride that Kathy was headed to when she left us. I may take the same route that she did, around the same time. Maybe I'll see the same recycling truck and I can see if he uses his signal or if his emergency flashers are on (which I was told by another driver recently is their policy). I'm a bit obsessed with creating an image of what she saw last.
    Yesterday was one of the best I've had in a while. Today started off with lots of sadness. I expect this will be the case for a while; these ups and downs. I should think of them as "rollers" like we used to blow over on the tandem. Kathy loved to stand up and blast past single bikes on the small uphills. ; )
    Keep the rubber side down all.

    Maury
    Maury,
    You are doing all the things that you feel you need to do right now. The image creating thing is totally normal. Do whatever comes to you as an urge, no matter whether the act may on the surface seem odd, morbid, sweet, or sad. Doesn't matter- it's a healing act, and that's good. Avoid what feels just too painful for the moment, you can always come back to it later on if you need to, or not. You call the shots right now.
    I spoke with my husband last night about what I would want him to do if I died. I told him that if that ever happened, I wanted him above all to NOT suffer alone and withdraw into himself. I said I would want him to allow all our friends in to surround him with love and strength, and that he should go forward and stay active and a positive force. The thing that would make me unhappiest is for him to go through his pain and grief all alone and in silence.
    You are doing the very things that Kathy would have wanted.
    Have a good ride tomorrow. Ride on in her spirit.
    Lisa
    Our bikes...OurBikes...and my mountain dulcimer blog
    Ruby's Website and My blog
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    2,609
    I was okay reading this until Trek's description of the 'Missing Stoker' on the tandem. Maury, what great strength you must have within to get through that day. Stay strong, and stay safe.

  5. #65
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Earth, but willing to relocate
    Posts
    116
    I am mostly a lurker here, but this story has touched me.

    I am so sorry for your loss, and wish you healing and lovely memories.

    Laura
    Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live. ~Mark Twain

  6. #66
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    San Jose, CA
    Posts
    1,485
    Maury, thank you for posting the photo of you and Kathy. It's good to see you two together, doing what brought you joy and fun.

    I believe Kathy is incredibly proud of you, for keeping on and staying the course. You are an inspiration. Keep riding through those 'rollers.'

    How was the ride today, or did weather cancel?
    fides quaerens intellectum (faith seeking understanding) - St. Anselm of Canterbury

  7. #67
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Santa Rosa, CA
    Posts
    5

    Friday Ride

    The Friday ride was good. I rode the route Kathy was taking a month ago when she was killed en route to the same monthly ride. I was feeling frisky so rode towards the front of the group for a time. I have a tendency to hang back if I realize there are riders back, which I eventually did. This seems to often place me in a 'limbo" between the faster and slower groups.
    While I worked to bridge back up to the leaders I made up this Limmerick:
    Some fast riders went off at full toot,
    By a very circuitous route.
    Though somre were much slower,
    one kicked in his blower,
    Though by coffee his legs were kapuut.
    Last evening was the SRCC Holiday Dinner. This is where Kathy proposed to me a year ago, and I didn't want to attend at first but decided I'd have lots of support there so I did go. It was fine until the party broke up. Last year I went home with a Fiancee. This year only memories. I'll tell you, it feels like it's going to be a long "tour" getting through this.

    Maury

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Mrs. KnottedYet
    Posts
    9,082
    Hey Cousin,

    Yes, I hear that Kathy got down on one knee and proposed to you?

    TE, she was quite a gal.

    Hang in there, I imagine it's a long tour but you're welcome to drop in here for the "rest stops" for rest and refueling to take the analogy way too far.

    Your cousin

    Trek
    Fancy Schmancy Custom Road bike ~ Mondonico Futura Legero
    Found on side of the road bike ~ Motobecane Mixte
    Gravel bike ~ Salsa Vaya
    Favorite bike ~ Soma Buena Vista mixte
    N+1 bike ~ Brompton
    https://www.instagram.com/pugsley_adventuredog/

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    178
    Tears and condolences from Canada. Kathy sounds like such an amazing woman, and not one soon forgotten.

    Roads up here are treacherous in the winter: bike lanes not plowed, and drivers don't expect cyclists on the road. I will have Kathy in my mind with every commute as a reminder to ride safe.

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Riding my Luna & Rivendell in the Hudson Valley, NY
    Posts
    8,403
    I just wanted to say something that has been on my mind...
    Even though I never met Kathy or Maury, I still think of them both every single day, and every time I ride my bike. I know I will for a long time to come.
    Kathy's tragic accident affected me very much. It was (and is) so very heartbreaking.
    Yet to witness the example of Maury's deep strength, love, and openness...well it has been such a profound inspiration to me.
    I just wanted to thank Maury for opening his heart to us all. I know now from reading about her that Kathy was a truly extraordinary woman, and I have no doubt that she would have shown the very same qualities that Maury has, had the situation been reversed.
    Thank you so much for having given us the honor of sharing just a little in your grieving. Beauty, love, and joy will never abandon such a full heart.
    Lisa Johnson
    Lisa
    Our bikes...OurBikes...and my mountain dulcimer blog
    Ruby's Website and My blog
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  11. #71
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Mountain View, CA
    Posts
    447
    Maury, Trek, Duck, and uk. I'm sitting here crying while reading this thread. I'm so sorry this has happened. You are all in my thoughts.

    Mel

  12. #72
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Trondheim, Norway
    Posts
    1,469
    BTW Melody, how are YOU doing lately? Much better, I hope. And thanks for your thoughts.
    Half-marathon over. Sabbatical year over. It's back to "sacking shirt and oat cakes" as they say here.

  13. #73
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Mountain View, CA
    Posts
    447
    Duck, I'm doing ok though I'm getting over a 2.5 day migraine and somehow I've gotten a cold. :/ I missed 3 days of work which kind of sucks since I'm now behind in several projects but I'll get back.

    The big thing that's going on right now is that as of today my doctor has put me on insulin. I've known I was diabetic since I was 18 (though I was diabetic way before then). Unfortunately, my glucose control just isn't what it used to be. We've tried modifying my meds to try to avoid having me go on insulin but at this point my body just doesn't make insulin like it used to so he has added it to my medication mix. He still has me on my other diabetic meds since I also have insulin resistance.

    We're starting me at 10 units and increasing by 2 each day until my glucose readings starting showing normal. Right now, I only take this specific insulin before bed.

    Mel

  14. #74
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Santa Rosa, CA
    Posts
    5

    Just an update, from Maury

    Hi folks.
    On the tenth of this month it'll be three months since the accident that took Kathy's life.
    There have been numerous dedications (songs, local landpaths event, etc.) in her memory.
    The ghost bike memorial now sits in our front yard as the city was going to take it down due to neighbors at the accident area complaining.

    I've been riding alot.
    I met a sweet lady (on New Year's day) (triathlete & marathon runner) whom I've been riding, running and hanging out a bit with.
    Biking is her weakest tri-sport, and even though she's 5' even and petite, I have to push to keep up with her on hills. Kathy used to make me work too, so I like that. To be able to keep up I've set some 2007 goals including the Terrible Two (again) and the Leadville 100.

    Kathy's memory will not leave me anytime soon. She'll be with me on rides for a long time to come. I like to think she helped me find this special pal.

    Maury

  15. #75
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    San Jose, CA
    Posts
    1,485
    Maury, it's good to hear you're healing a bit and getting out and riding in this incredible weather we've been having. My thoughts are with you as you move ahead in your life. Kathy will always be with you.
    fides quaerens intellectum (faith seeking understanding) - St. Anselm of Canterbury

 

 

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