As an equestrian, I'll tell you that the way you hang on and stay balanced on a horse is nothing like how you keep a bike upright. Think about all the contact your leg has with a horse and how little contact you have with the bike. Plus, horses tend to like to stay upright (and I try to avoid the crazies who don't).
A friend of mine cycles in Chicago, but I believe she just does the email coaching thing. I don't have any experience with coaches yet either..and I'd love some help and am pretty surprised that there aren't more coaches around for this sport at a variety of levels. But for really newbie stuff like figuring out pedals and whatnot, I don't think a coach will do you much good. Get tips from posts on this board (they helped me) and from your guy.
But as for clipless..just keep practicing. After giving myself a very raw elbow, I took my practice sessions onto some grass. I ride multiuse trails where I can pull off on the grassy shoulders to stop and restart (don't want to block others anyway). Now I'm getting more confident stopping and starting on pavement..and now that I'm getting the hang of things, it's easier to be on pavement. Though downhill stops are pretty slippery.
If you're deathly afraid of falling, then the sport is not for you. I couldn't be terrified about falling off a horse and do well--I had to learn how to be good at staying on, but I still fall, and the horses still fall down too. With a bike, it's also not a question of if but when. It happens to everyone. You have to be able to do your best to stay upright but know it can happen and when it does, you've got to be willing to get back in the saddle.