Dear Cat

[kajero]

Dear Ransom,

When you were given to me as a newborn I wanted a cuddly cat. But now at 9 years old you are too cuddly. Everytime I sit down you have to be on my lap. If you are not on my lap you are laying up against me so I can't hardly move. When I go to bed you have to get in get right into my face before you lay down. And when I brush you away, you whine and and whine. When I am sitting at my computer room desk, you put your front paws on my thigh, whine, and won't leave until I pick you up and hold you. It is very had to work with a cat on your lap.

If I shut doors to keep you out you scratch and whine until I open it. It is very distracting.

Despite all this I still love you. I guess you must be making up for the other cat who barely lets us near him!

[lph]

Dear Cat,

I don't have the nerves for this. But I'm onto you now.

We don't have a cat flap yet, so Lyra's usual routine goes like this. Sleep all day, hang out with us in the afternoon, get fed in the evening, go out for the night. In the early morning she'll jump in our bedroom window, get let into the rest of the house, take a nap, and wake us up to get breakfast if we're not up by five minutes past the usual time. She will occasionally miss coming back for breakfast, but we will then be met after work by an indignant cat pawing at the garden door wondering why the h*** she's hungry and outside.

So when she hadn't turned up by breakfast time yesterday I wasn't too worried. It was a cold and wet day so we figured she was napping somewhere dry. But when she still hadn't turned up by the afternoon, and dh had been home all day without seeing her we started getting worried. We started calling and searching for her, going much further than I have ever seen her go, somewhat hampered by the fact that we live next door to a large absolutely no-entry army camp. The completely overgrown swathe of land just outside our garden and just inside their fence is her favourite hunting ground. The guard at the gate was polite and amused when a distraught woman with straggly hair turned up in the evening looking for her cat but was not about to let me inside.

I was mostly worried about a fox getting her. We live right up against the woods, hardly any traffic, but she's territorial and would quite probably try to defend her space against a fox, or even a badger. And she has come home wide-eyed and very jumpy before, as though she'd been in a showdown with some animal.

By nightfall I was a total mess, and dreading having to tell my son that Lyra was gone. Left a window open and slept fitfully, starting at the smallest noise in the house. After getting up to check the first two sounds and finding nothing I decided not to get up any more as it was just too disappointing. Besides, I expected that if she did come in it would be with loud demands for food and company.

Got up this morning with a very heavy heart, hoping against hope that she would meet me in the hall as usual, but no.

But a few minutes later a calm and nonchalant cat comes wandering down the hall from my son's bedroom where she has been quietly sleeping as if nothing had happened and the past day never existed.

Why do they DO this to us??

[nuliajuk]

Dear cat
When we visited with the nice lady down the street whose dog you get on well with, we weren't expecting her neighbour to have her three cats all outside. Good thing you were on the leash because the language you were using suggested you wanted to take on all three. Bad idea. You don't have a full set of teeth and every one of them is bigger than you. So stop trying to drag us back down there EVERY time we take you out. Get over it!!!

[Blueberry]

Dear Cat:

You 2 brothers can behave - why can't you? Dragging off my husband's favorite sweater and trying to eat it is not endearing you to him (and you're officially his cat!). What is it with wool - not yarn - anything wool! You can't stop eating it.

Confused,

Your mom

[VeganBikeChick]

Dear Laverne,

I'm so sorry I stepped on your tail this morning while you were underfoot. I'm glad I had your immediate forgiveness by you rubbing up against me immediately - wish people were like you!

[aponi]

I'm so glad you got to sleep in this morning when I got up at 5:30 to go for a run. You're right, there's no sense in all of us having to be out in the heat and humidity.

[skhill]

Dear Joe,

Maybe you should take a hint from how the dog snaps at you whenever you mess with her chew toys, and just not do it. Remember, she is 4 times your size!

[Boudicca]

Dear Cat

Kibble is dead already. You do not need to bat it out of the kibble dish and chase it all round the kitchen floor.

Also litter belongs in the tray, not scratched out onto the bathroom floor.

Thank you

[marni]

dear Tux

the water is already in the water dish. Excavation in the water dish will not increase the amount or create a flow and once it is all over the floor it evaporates before I can refill the dish. Stop digging already.

[skhill]

dear cats,

I'm sorry the dry food bowl ran empty overnight. But since you waited until 4 a.m. to tell me, couldn't you have waited another hour? You know I get up at 5, and give you breakfast before even starting the coffee. And to be frank, all of you could stand to miss an occasional meal anyway.

[indysteel]

dear Tux

the water is already in the water dish. Excavation in the water dish will not increase the amount or create a flow and once it is all over the floor it evaporates before I can refill the dish. Stop digging already.

LOL. One of our cats likes to put bugs that she catches and certain "illicit" toys, e.g, my ponytail holders that she hunts from my gym bag, into her water dish only to then splash all the water out of the bowl in an effort to retrieve it. Fun to watch, but bad for our hardwood floors!

[Helene2013]

Dear cats!!!

Do you have to start a loud racing game across the whole upper floor and jumping everywhere at 11pm (I know you guys are noctural ... but still) when we are in bed trying to sleep before getting up at 4am! Wouldn't you prefer to do those games before we go to bed so we can sleep peacefully!

This way of doing drives the dog insane downstairs and she will bark like crazy, which drives us crazy in return with all that commotion.

Do you have to step on the blind dog sleeping near us on the floor on his carpet and startle him so he growls and snaps in the air because he got caught off guard! Which again wakes me up with heart pounding and almost leads me to put you 2 in the garage for the night!!! And then I can't no longer fall back asleep!

And when WE humans have to wake up, you are snoring and nothing can move you. Argggh!

Your master living in YOUR house but who pays the mortgage!

[katluvr]

Dear Cats,
(Specifically Snow & Andi). I am sorry I had to take you to the vet today. It was hard for me, too. Last time I went was to pick up your brother's things after he died. But I try to be a good mommy and it was time for your annual. Snow, thanks for presenting us with a stool sample in her carrier. Andi, you are the sweetest, easy going, friendly, dog-cat at home, but you are possessed by a growling, spitting, Tasmanian devil at the vet. Seriously it will be sedatives next time! Also, next time can you present your stool sample on the way to the vet and not on the way home?

Love your loving but exhausted mommy

P.S. Do you think the two black and white kittens would be welcomed in our home? Of course then there were be 7 fur babies and we would definitely be considered hoarders!

[marni]

LOL. One of our cats likes to put bugs that she catches and certain "illicit" toys, e.g, my ponytail holders that she hunts from my gym bag, into her water dish only to then splash all the water out of the bowl in an effort to retrieve it. Fun to watch, but bad for our hardwood floors!

fortunately we have tile, but the bottom of the refrigerator may rust out. And why does the digging always start at 2:00 AM? why because he is an ADD, Bi-Polar. projectile shedding Maine Coon , that's why.

he's anut, but we love him, despite slip slidding to the coffee machine in the morning.

[lph]

Dear Lyra,

I don't know why you're suddenly being such a floppy purry love bug all over me because you still regularly bite my son (granted, he can be brash and annoying) but I still appreciate it.

Maybe it's because you got your cat door back and can go in and out whenever your royal highness pleases instead of looking mournfully at us.
You're welcome. Please don't start dragging prey in. At least not the live ones, and please please don't hide them under the couch. I'm out of the habit of checking every other day.