Dealing with a hard decision

[onimity]

Sandra,

I feel so badly for you but am happy that Bull got his surgery and is doing well.

I had a friend that was driving one evening and saw a kitten that had been hit by a car. He was still alive but badly injured so she took him to an emergency clinic. They contacted the owner (on his collar) and she was unable to pay for the surgery to save his life; she was heartbroken, but said the kitten would have to be put down.

My friend was willing to adopt him and pay for his care. Because of the situation the Dr. donated his time, but my friend still had to pay for the costs: anesthesia, operating room, xrays, iv, medication, months of follow up visits, etc. etc. etc. I would assume that the person adopting Bull is going to pay for his surgery and follow-up medical care, or someone is...surgery is expensive even without the cost of the surgeon. My cousin worked for a vet and brought home a couple of animals in similar situations, the vet agreed not to make a profit on the services but she paid for the procedures/medicine/care/food/etc.

I find it hard to criticize the Dr. here, personally. In an ideal world he could volunteer his services and provide free care for all animals, but that's not a sustainable business. I think that the next best thing is to help the animal out and put him with someone that can take on his medical costs. It takes a very loving person to take in a sick animal and I am sure that he'll be well-loved. But Sandra, it takes a special person to do the right thing for an animal you love too, especially when it is so painful. I am thinking of you and wishing you weren't going through this.

Anne

[ilima]

I am very sorry you are in this situation. I know it's not fair.

We spent the night Sunday night at the Emergency Vets with our 8 year old male poodle pup. $200 and many hours later, it was determined that he has a kidney stone.

He stayed overnight and we picked him up early Monday morning and took him to our regular vet. Several X-rays, hours later, and $100 more, he still has a kidney stone that has not budged. The vet wanted to wait it out and hope he could pass it. He said surgery was the last option because the dog already had congestive heart failure and there's no guarantee that he'd make it through the surgery, plus, with a dog as tiny as he is, the urethra is so small, it is a risky surgery and may not be successful. They could try to flush it back up into the bladder, but the chance of that working and it dissolving are very slim. We'd probably be back in the vet next week with the same problem.

He came home for the night with constant observation. He can barely urinate, but we had to watch to make sure that he was able to go some so that we didn't have to deal with a ruptured bladder. We gave him a special diet last night, we took him out for 5 minutes every hour. I watched with a flashlight hoping he would pass it.

He returned to the vet today and we were told that about the only option was surgery which would be $300 - $500 MORE.

We had some tough decisions to make. He has been an expensive dog already. He is 8 years old and had not been a healthy dog. Just two years ago he had a ruptured salivary gland and a real "people" surgeon was brought in to operate on him. He also has congestive heart failure.

Our son is getting married in 5 months ($$$$) and we have other major expenses coming up. We have cried and agonized about what a good ole dog he is and trying to make a decision. I finally just could not do it and left it to my husband.

After talking to the vet today, dear hubby, soft hearted as he is, said that we thought the best thing to do would be to put the dog to sleep. We were both broken and crushed to make the decision, but we accepted that it was probably the best thing. We are not rich people and just did not feel like we could put close to $1000 in this dog at his age and with all of his health problems already. The vet offered to work with us on a payment plan, but again we would STILL have to pay it and there was no guarantee that he would even make it.

We have lost 2 nights sleep and I had cried all morning. Hubby gave the final word and told them to put him to sleep. It is not a decision we made lightly.

Then the unexpected. The vet called back and said that everyone in the clinic was so upset. They remember Bull from when he has his other surgery. He was such a special case to have a real surgeon operate on him. He had a proposal. He asked for permission to do the surgery and if he could survive and make it through, there was a girl that worked there that wanted Bull.

My husband immediately thought that this was the answer we needed. He felt better that he would not have to be put to sleep. He would have a good home, someone that loved him and now access to free medical care with all of his many conditions.

I, on the other hand, am crushed. It is hard to bear the thought of him with someone else and not here where he was so loved. He has been happy here for 8 years and I don't think he will be as happy in his new home.

We have not signed the paper yet saying that it is OK to give him away. I don't know how people bear the pain of putting a dog to sleep. And now this for some reason feels even harder. I feel like I have failed him.

As I type through tears, I appreciate any kind words or things that I have not thought of in my emotional state. Pets can be just like kids.

[nic840]

I know there is no right answer that would work for everyone. Just wanted you to know that its alright to be frustrated, sad, angry and happy all at the same time. Bull is still alive, and it sounds like he will be loved and well taken care of.

I love my animals like they are my children but to go into financial debt because of them is a tough decision to make. I am sure I will have to make it someday and weigh it against the quality of life of the animal.

I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you. I am glad you have your husband to share this with you and you made the decsion together.

[sundial]

Sandra, I know I'm just now checking this thread, but IMOM came to mind immediately. If you qualify, this organization will assist you with the vet bills so that you don't have to consider euthanizing your little guy--or give him up for that matter.

http://www.imom.org/

Hope this helps and I'm sending you lots of hugs and slurpy kisses from my 4 furkids.

Cathy, Kali, Niki, Jodi and Luke

[LBTC]

{{{{{Sandra}}}}}}

There's a whole lot of TE critters (my own Yogi, Norton and Ted for sure) at the Rainbow Bridge who are doing a little happy dance that Bull gets to stay here for awhile longer.

You followed your heart the best you know how. Do what you can to rejoice that Bull has another chance. (he is adorable)

Sending butterflies to lift your spirit, to help you see the joy and beauty that has happened here, to help you find your peace, and for you to send along to Bull so he know he is still loved by you, too.

Hugs,
~T~

[smilingcat]

Dear Sandra,

I know you are hurting for having to give up Bull. And he misses you too. The thing we have to remind ourselves in situations like this is that someone was there for him. To take care of him. And to love him... He has an angel looking over him. In time, Bull will have recovered and he will be in a home, loved just as he was loved in your family.

Sometimes the best gift you can give to a loved one is to let them go. Let go sometimes means putting them to sleep so they don't suffer. let them go sometimes means to release the animal back to the wild, to fly free in the wild to run... And here it means for you to adopt bull out to a new family who is willing to give him a second chance at life.

Through it all, I understand your hurt. And my sympathy for your loss...
And after a good cry, please realize that you did the right thing. Bull is recovering and no longer in physical pain. And he will be loved.

my sympathy,
Smilingcat

[sandra]

UPDATE Thank you all for your expressions of support and comfort. After a day of agonizing and another night of little sleep, we just can't do it. We are going to get Bull and bring him home.

I just can't bear the thought of him with someone else, no matter how much they love him. We have loved him and cared for him for 8 years. He needs to be where he is already happy. This may not be the best thing for us financially, but it is the best thing for us emotionally and I know it is the best thing for Bull.

I don't know about the next thing or what we will do at that time. We'll deal with tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

I apologize for working through this with all of you, but you have helped more than you can imagine. You have helped me come to this conclusion and I think in a way, that's what message boards are all about, people with common interests coming together which branches out to other areas of our lives.

I'm up and ready for work early so that I can get finished and get off and hopefully go pick him up. Much gratitude....Sandra

[Blueberry]

Sandra-

That's wonderful news!!!!

Please don't apologize for asking for help - I've asked for advice on non-bike related topics here many times, and have been astounded by the wisdom that others have to offer.

Hugs,

CA

[sbctwin]

{{{{{Sandra}}}}}}

[rij73]

I couldn't stop thinking of your situation last night. It made me wonder what I would do!

I'm SO HAPPY that you are keeping Bull. I agree that it's the right thing for him and the right thing emotionally, and if you are a true animal lover, you know that that trumps finances. You guys will make it work out.

By the way, consider pet health insurance. There are a few companies, and they are great. Premiums are super low, and they will reimburse you a lot of the cost of any veterinary treatments. That might be your answer for what the future brings. Hudson (my dog) has insurance precisely because I never want to have to make a decision about his life based on money. We use: http://www.petshealthplan.com/

Oh, and Triskeliongirl, I see where you are coming from completely. I might have misunderstood, but my impression was that the vet *was* going to do the surgery for free and then give the dog to his employee. From the way Sandra told the story, it sounded like since the Bull was going to be with someone who worked there, he would get *free* care... not that the new owner was really taking on the financial responsibility. I might have misread the story.

Anyway, doesn't really matter now!

[sandra]

rij73, I'm sorry that I gave that impression. I really don't know how the vet and the employee had worked out the financial issues. It was not my place to ask and really none of my business.

I made an assumption that he would have better access to medical care, but I really don't know that. I was upset and probably made many wrong assumptions. I am sorry if I misled anyone.

[sandra]

OH my gosh. I just read about the petshealthplan.com. I'm so glad to hear that you have had a good experience with them. Have you actually used it? I wonder if you can get it if they have any pre-existing conditions.

That is THE solution. I called my husband. We are going to do that if he is eligible. We can afford his routine care, grooming, special diet, medications and all that. It is these big things that throw you for a loop.

[sundial]

Sandra, I am so happy for you and your decision. I know you have agonized over Bull's dilemma and you have weighed your options. I don't know......I guess if he were my dog, I would rather have him with me to the end rather than send him off to a loving home.

I'm sending healing thoughts for Bull and hugs to you.

Cathy

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Wow Sandra, you have been on an emotional roller coaster!

Of course the women on TE support whatever decision you make.
Keep us posted on what happens next.

xo Lisa

[LBTC]

I've never seen such happy butterflies! Sandra, that's wonderful news!

Many hugs and healing butterflies for Bull,
~T~