Foot surgery - lots of crutch-time

[yellow]

Oh, GLC, so sorry to hear this. You are a tough cookie and will come through just fine. I don't have any words of wisdom about the crutches but I do know that surgery sucks. Be good to yourself; accept the help hubby gives you with grace and plan a nice way to say thank you. Do what you can to keep your upper body active in the first couple of weeks after surgery; my body shed muscle after my surgery 2 yrs ago. It was not what I expected. Lots of glutamine in the week or so following surgery (but someone probably already told you that)!

[bikerHen]

Feeling your pain in so many ways! I had a total hip replacement in January. I could hardly walk and couldn't swing my leg over my bike all last fall. I was right there where you are now, just without the crutches. After surgery I had to used a walker and I hung my biggest pack back over the handles for hauling stuff. Loved the in-home PT, it was a great help. I was back on the spin bike and using my Bowflex a week after surgery. It wasn't much at first but getting my muscles moving again felt sooooo good. And as much as I hate stretching it has become new my best friend.

Also I assume your doctor has issued you a disabled parking permit? Use it! I was a little embarressed to use mine but my total fear of slipping on the ice took care of that. It was wonderful for hubby to get me out when I started to go stir crazy at home. Also gotta say I LOVED the motorized carts at the grocery store. They really do make shopping possible and they're a lot of fun too! Just go when the store isn't too busy. We also rented a wheelchair for a couple of outings. I just didn't have the strength to walk or stand for very long.

For what it's worth, I spent the time before my surgery doing what I could at the gym to get myself in as good of shape as I could. It was a tremendous help post surgery. I'm sure prior to the accident you were working out as well. Like my doctor said, I was training for surgery! Two months later, other than a persistent limp I'm getting around pretty good. Back on the bike, weather permitting, back at the gym and in the pool, but can't run anymore so I've had to tossed my budding tri dreams to the wind.

It all sucks now but it does get better! I'll be spending more time doing stuff around the house and less time training this summer but that's not a bad thing either. Hang in there!

[SallyRides]

Wow - I know most of what you are going through. I had to have surgery on my left great toe - had it fused in Dec. '11. I was completely NWB for 8 wks. I had crutches, and the knee scooter. Hated the scooter, as it was not comfortable and bothered my back if used for long periods of time, but at least I could go back to work with it, and have my hands free. I wish I had read some of the suggestions you've gotten here! Would have been so helpful. Mostly, I found ways to get things done with only one operational leg/foot, but let me tell you, it was exhausting some days! So much more work than "normal" living. You CAN do it, tho', if you put your energy into making things work. Not the same as working out, but it does take energy and strength.

I also was amazed at just how much muscle atrophy can occur in a short time. When my 8 wks were up and my Pod ok'd me for no crutches, he also said I could try my bike, inside on a trainer. Yay! I was so excited. Then when on the bike, I was so discouraged by how my left calf felt. It was disgusting!! It literally flopped around as I pedaled. NO strength or conditioning at all. Such a weird feeling. That was mid January. I've kept working it. It is not at 100% yet, but maybe 75-80%. So much improved. More work ahead but it will happen.

You will get back to where you were. You need to give it the time needed. Unfortunately, it takes longer than we would wish. :-( Good luck! I hope your healing goes smoothly and you find a way to work around any present obstacle.

SR

[NadiaMac]

So sorry to hear about your accident. Crutches and casts are a pain! I had foot surgery several years ago and was on crutches for almost two months. Here's a few suggestions
-showers: I love my showers. I put a small wooden stool (20 bucks at target) in the tub and replaced my glass shower doors with temporary curtains. I transferred onto the stool by sitting in the edge of the tub, then scooting over onto the stool. Casted leg was left dangling out of the shower resting on the rim to stay dry. This was safe and kept the foot dry. You can also buy a shower bench on medical equipment websites that achieves the same goal. Another option is to cover the cast with a trash bag. This worked ok for me, but hanging my leg outside the shower was easier.

- eating. I either ate standing up in the kitchen (I was living alone and did not have help at dinner) or hopped between my kitchen and sofa where I was mostly hanging out. having food that is amenable to hopping is key (no soup). I did a lot of hopping on one foot during my recovery, which may not be for everyone

- backpacks are essential, as everyone else noted. My sister also got these little pockets that clould be installed on the crutches. Handy for carrying a water bottle or other little things. I didn't end up using them much

- stairs. Echo others' suggestions to set yourself up on the ground floor if you can. I live in a second floor flat up two flights of stairs. I went up and down the stairs at home on my rump. Safer and saved energy

- not sure if anyone mentioned this, but i found the disabled toilet stalls much easier- the toilet is higher and this makes getting up and down to the seat easier with one leg. The bars also help..

- get a disabeled placard for your car if you can (i had one for six weeks after my foot surgery and it was useful especially at work where there is a long walk from the regular parking). Crutching is exhausting. Minimize walking if you can.

- swimming is a good exercise option once you can put your leg into water. I used a pull buoy until I could kick again (took a while for me since I couldn't flex my foot for a while, but may be different for you)

Good luck!
Nm

[GLC1968]

Excellent advice all! Thanks again!

So here is my update. On Friday, my knee scooter came. I put it together and it has been a HUGE help at home. Our house is fairly open (all one level except for the basement) so it is actually really, really good for getting around while holding things. My knee was beginning to ache some, but since I'll be on crutches at work during the week, I'll be fine (less scooter time). I'm not going to take the scooter to work since I mostly work from my desk anyway. Luckily, I'm also near the entrance and everything I need is pretty much within arms reach, so it's totally doable (much more so than at home).

We found a car on Saturday. It was a LONG day with a LOT of driving around but luckily, it was successful. I was losing hope at one point though - apparently cheap daily drivers are in hot demand! We bought a 93 honda civic with 170K miles on it (or something like that). It drives well, but it's not pretty. It's missing a lot of parts too, so I've been combing the internet for replacements of the important ones (like side view mirrors!). I don't doubt for a second that we'll be able to get our money back when we resell this car at the end of my crutch time.

I don't yet have a handicap permit, but I've got the forms filled out and I'll take care of that after my surgery on Thursday (or, I'll get my H to do it).

Showering is fine. I just bag my foot, use a shower stool (we already had one from years ago!) and luckily, our shower is big enough for me to get in there, but small enough that I'm in no danger of falling over really. If I was forced to use the shower in our master bath, I'd be in trouble (it's a tiny stall type shower, but it's out of commission right now anyway).

The biggest challenge right now is my marriage, actually. My husband is not handling this well and it's taking all of my mental energy to try and help him deal so that we don't end up divorced before this is all over with. It's only been a little over a week, I am worried we won't make it 2 - 3 months!

[GLC1968]

Yeah, it's really strange. I mean, I'm working very hard to be as independent as possible but I don't think it's helping. I mean, I did all my laundry, half of his, washed and changed the sheets and towels, cooked a couple of meals and have been taking care of the indoor animals.

I get it that all the outdoor animal care has fallen to him and that sucks. And I'm not cooking as much as I was but it's hard work doing it on one foot! I know he's also disappointed that we've had to cancel a bunch of planned events for this summer so I'm hoping it's just kind of the initial shock that he's adjusting to.

Honestly, I think a part of it is that he got a little too excited about the fact that I had to cancel my tri season and I think he thought that meant a lot more fun for both of us...forgetting the reason I'm not doing any races.

Luckily, everyone at work has been really, really great. I don't think it would be the same if I still worked upstairs as an engineer...but down here in HR, everyone has been awesome about it (and very helpful). I'm actually the third person in the past 9 months in this group to be on crutches for a foot injury, so I think they are kind of used to it!

[Crankin]

What do you think your DH is mad about?
A couple of years ago, the male half of our cycling friends broke his hip in an early season crash. It was a very long recovery and he spent a lot of weeks working from home after he went off of medical leave. My friend (his wife) was extremely annoyed and complained the whole time, how "hard" it was. Basically, he does everything around the house and she was pissed she had to do things like go to the dump and do laundry for both of them. She's kind of rigid in how she likes things and a perfectionist, so the fact that she had more work pushed her over the edge.
I bet the change in routine and increased load is what's bugging your DH.

[GLC1968]

I bet the change in routine and increased load is what's bugging your DH.

I'm sure. But I'm also dealing with this change and I'm also the one in pain, so it doesn't seem fair that he's the one with the attitude.

I'm really trying to be understanding, but it's frankly exhausting.

I talked to my mom about it briefly because there were two periods in her life where she was fairly helpless (more so that I am now) and my dad had to take up the slack while also being the sole breadwinner. I'm thinking about asking my dad (who is incredibly tactful) to give my husband a call. Maybe they could commiserate a bit? I don't know. My husband is not very good at opening up to people either...though, if anyone could get him talking, I bet my dad could.

[tulip]

Sheesh, sorry to hear about your foot, GLC. Now about your H (I noticed you didn't write "D" in front...). What's this about him being all pissy? This is when marriages get tested--when things get hard. YOU should not have to figure out a way to not make him mad--you are dealing with enough as it is. Have you talked to him about why he's feeling put out? Maybe just giving him the chance to have someone listen to him would help. I like your idea of your dad giving him a call just to "see how things are going."

If he truly cannot handle your being on crutches and picking up the slack, then there are ways to deal with that. Hiring someone to help with the animals or the house is one. You say there's no one because you live in the country, but I would bet there is someone who would be grateful to earn some extra money. If your H cannot cook (or refuses to), you might have to bring someone in to cook for you for a while. I have a friend who does not like to cook at all, and she hires someone to cook for her once a week and put all the meals in ready-made in the freezer for her. It's very convenient (she has a super high-powered job and works all the time) and she gets healthy homemade meals. I bet a caterer would do that, and it would be delicious and very convenient.

It sounds to me like you are already doing a whole lot in the house. Maybe he's resentful because you are being so independent and not letting him take care of you. If that's the case, lighten up and let him do things for you. It's okay. Of course, that might not be the case at all.

Once you have surgery, you will be out of it for at least a few days. Have you talked to him about that? I mean, really out of it, and you NEED to rest, you can't be doing laundry and stuff.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery and figuring out what's going on with the H.

[GLC1968]

Thanks, tulip...some good advice there!

Just to clarify, I only call him my H because for some reason, the abbreviation 'DH' has always annoyed me. It has nothing to do with this situation! He is still my 'D'ear.

[Wahine]

A significant injury like this is hard for everyone to adjust to. You're right, it is a far greater inconvenience for you and you're the one having to deal with the pain.

Take the following with a big grain of salt. I am not a counselor, psychologist or otherwise. I'm just a PT who's done this job for 17 years.

I often see interesting relationship dynamics come out when a partner is injured. Often, the uninjured partner is scared, they feel helpless, there are a lot of unknowns for them too. So while you are the one dealing with the injury, you are also the one who has control in a sense. You're the one that knows how much pain you're in, you're the one that can make decisions about what will work for you, when to take meds etc. He has no control right now and he probably wants to help but doesn't know how. This is often worse when the injured partner is very independent and/or stoic.

So my advice is to give him a lot of verbal feedback about how you are feeling, about what's going on and how he can help. Even with little things, like getting you a glass of water once in a while. If you are trying to figure something out, bring him in on the problem solving, he may not have any good suggestions but it will help him feel more in control. I don't mean that in a bad way, like he is "controlling". I mean it in the way that none of us are comfortable with feeling like we have no control over life, and gaining some of that back makes one feel less helpless.

Finally, know that as the new routine becomes familiar and the basic survival part of his brain realizes that things are going to be alright, it will get better. I know that you are having a very hard time right now, he knows it too and it probably scares him that his independent wife has suddenly been thrown for a loop.

[jessmarimba]

Sorry to hear about your injury! I have no advice that anyone else hasn't already given. My time on crutches was awhile ago and I was on tour at the time, so nothing would really apply anyway. I will say that I had the most beautiful abs by the time I could start walking again! Good luck with everything.

[GLC1968]

Crankin for the win! (Wahine hit it pretty close, too).

For the past two days, my H has been MUCH better. What he does hasn't changed all that much, but his attitude has. I asked him last night why the change of heart and he came clean about how he was feeling before.

He said he felt resentful that he had to do everything even though I was here (he's used to doing everything when I travel). He felt it wasn't fair and being perfectly honest with me, he said it irritated him. In addition, he doesn't like weakness and it really threw him for a loop to see me 'needy'. Upon reflection, it makes sense. He doesn't handle it well when I am sick, either. Luckily, that doesn't happen much!

He said he had a 'talk' with himself. He realized he was just being selfish and that this 1) wasn't on purpose!, 2) wasn't the end of the world and 3) is only temporary. Things around here are so much improved with is new attitude. It's a big relief for me too because I have zero idea how I'm going to react to the surgery and recovery. At least now I know that I don't have to worry about him too.

[7rider]

That is great to read!
On top of everything, you don't need that stress too!

[Crankin]

Phew. I'm glad that 60K I paid to Lesley University was worth it.
Just kidding. But, I was seriously astounded at how mean my friend was to her husband. I figured out what it stemmed from after awhile, when I realized that she does not deal well with change and that her DH does almost everything. There's a reason we are friends... we're both kind of alike which some see as selfish, but I think she surpasses me. I always say I keep my compassion for work, but really when my DH broke both wrists and had to have surgery on one and splint the other, the only thing I said I wouldn't do was, ah, wipe his bum . He figured it out, although I think he asked for help from DSs a couple of times.