Why doesn't he get it?

[shootingstar]

Curious, do you and he ride together often? Does he ride with you when he does?

[Owlie]

Indy-- I have asked, and the answer I got was something along the lines of "Well, I'm concerned that you won't enjoy it and you'd have wasted your money." While I do understand that concern over the mountain bike, I'm not entirely sure I understand it about the CX bike. I wonder if he thinks I'm compromising my desire for a new road bike or that I'm cheaping out and getting something that doesn't meet my criteria for a road bike because it's cheap. I did try to explain to him that that wasn't the case and the CX bike fills a different niche, but I'm not sure he listened.

Shootingstar--Even though he was the one that got me into cycling, I've done far more miles by myself than with him. Granted, we've been long-distance much of the time that I've been riding, but I think I've done only 60 miles with him over the last three years.

[shootingstar]

Shootingstar--Even though he was the one that got me into cycling, I've done far more miles by myself than with him. Granted, we've been long-distance much of the time that I've been riding, but I think I've done only 60 miles with him over the last three years.

Hey Owlie, you just have to cycle to your own beat. But if I had a cycling partner like yours, my heart would be a bit hurt...sharing same passion but um...separate. My partner has cycled...get this....234,000 freakin' km. over the last 24 years!!!! He tracks on spreadsheets.

He's done alot of solo cycle-touring because he's retired now but I'm not. It used to bother me but now I realize, he needs me each evening when we skype when he's travelling: he has no one else to understand his triumphs and tribulations as a solo tourer. Besides I enjoy hearing about his journeys, etc.

However he does enjoy cycling with me and is never overly too far that I can't see him when we do ride together. Wierd, but for us....as 2 cyclists, it's 2 lovers ..together, riding the journey of life together.

[indysteel]

Indy-- I have asked, and the answer I got was something along the lines of "Well, I'm concerned that you won't enjoy it and you'd have wasted your money."

In my opinon, sometimes the best way to diffuse an argument is to admit that there is at least some validity to it. So, if I were in your shoes, my reaction to that would be: "Yeah, I suppose that's a possibility, but that's not really the end of the world, is it? If I don't end up loving it, then I'll sell the bike. Yes, I'll likely take a loss on it, but the only way to figure out whether I'll like something is to try it. I'd rather waste some money along the way than not try at all." Then I'd end any further discussion about it and go about my merry way.

[Becky]

Once again, Indy hits it out of the park. Home run advice there!

[pll]

I like Indy's advice.

A different tack would be to bait him to get a cross bike, too. Cross improves bike handling skills (so I am told), but it also enables you t do some epic gravel rides. Here's one that has me wanting a cross bike with disc brakes (cross per se I enjoy watching, but I am not cut for it): http://www.tusharcrusher.com/

See the video from FatCyclist: http://vimeo.com/45812668 (it was his first ride with a cross bike)

[SadieKate]

I live in one of the bike-iest towns in the nation and the cool kids ride 'em all. Mtb and road bikes are hung in the garage for the winter and out come the CX bikes and nordic skis. The folks here would be hard-pressed to keep their faces straight with his attitude. Of course, you can't tell him that so I'm not much help.

[nuliajuk]

Really, it isn't actually necessary for him to "get it", he just has to respect your choice and realize that it's you that's buying it and riding it, not him.
You don't have to share every interest. My husband doesn't "get" swimming or urban cycle touring, I don't share his interest in steam trains or vintage buses. That's fine, we have enough interests in common and don't have to be joined at the hip.

[bluebug32]

I would be hurt and confused too. But have you noticed that cyclists, particularly men, can be pretty judgmental when it comes to different types of cyclists? I don't think Bike Snob is far off when he jokingly points out all the labels cyclists have for each other or the brands/types of bikes they ride. It sounds like his response is a combination of not wanting to see you give up the type of cycling he identifies with and also a fear of being left behind if you are doing something he isn't. My husband has this same fear of change and usually when I just go ahead and take the plunge, he'll be adamant at first and then eventually come around or convert to it as well.