Obesity and addiction

[lph]

Welcome to the discussion, and welcome to TE, Skip!

I think establishing good eating habits early can be a lot more important than we generally think, not just a good idea but crucial to determining how we think of food as adults for years to come. In that sense how families eat together does play a big role.

My grandfather had painful stomach ulcers for most of his life. He suffered from stress and wolfed down his food, mainly because he grew up in a super-authoritarian household where his father ate very fast, and no-one could continue eating after he was finished.

[OakLeaf]

Really good article about learning healthy eating and identifying food issues on the family level. If they enlisted any professional help, they don't mention it in the story.

With the caveat that I haven't read the book in decades, the old classic Fat is a Feminist Issue was a huge revelation to me when I first read it. It's body image positive but also identifies some of the many issues that keep people fat when they don't want to be.

[limewave]

Skip, good question.

Growing up overweight and eventually becoming morbidly obese, I am very sensitive about the family meal.

My husband works late every night. I had tried making a traditional meal (meat, potato, pastas, bread, casseroles, etc) for the kids, but they are picky and won't eat it. I was afraid to eat most of what I made myself because if I started eating pasta I knew I wouldn't be able to stop. It was a mess. The "family dinner" caused a lot of anxiety and I would end up binging. DH would come home from work at 10 PM and "not feel like a big meal" and eat 3 bowls of cereal instead.

I've come up with a solution that works for us. We don't sit down for a family dinner. However, the kids are involved with meal planning. Each week the kids plan a dinner: they choose 2 vegetables (1 green and 1 colorful), a main dish, and a dessert (fruit parfaits, apple slices and cinnamon). It's not unusual for the kids dinner to be what we call "the mix:" assortment of fresh cut veggies, fresh cut fruit, a TB of a natural PB for dipping, and a few small slices of cheese. Sometimes they even pick a "Big Salad" for dinner

This works well for me too as I tend to eat a big breakfast but like a light dinner--a salad, bowl of soup, etc. I make certain things for DH and package them in single servings stored in the freezer. Sometimes I'll grill for him at night, but we keep it simple. There's always a salad and fresh cut veggies in the fridge--everyone is eating better.

Dinner isn't the main event in our family. We "refuel and nourish" our bodies so we can go play! Every night after dinner we do a family activity: biking, soccer, walks, playground, games, etc. That's how we get in our quality time.

Extended family meals are an entirely different story . . . I hate them. If I bring my own healthy alternatives I get judgmental looks and comments. I can't stand being around a spread of food all day, its too tempting. I just have to get through the day . . .

[Crankin]

The family dinner worked well for my family, both when I was a kid and when my own kids were growing up. My dad and my DH both travelled during the week, when I was young and when my kids were in younger. So, the situation was similar in that the "whole" family was not often there for dinner during the week. I did exactly what my mom did: we had sit down dinners every night, no different than if my DH had been there. We ate in a healthy way, even then, compared to other families, though not quite as much as now. We never had fried food in the house, ate a lot of chicken and fish, and the kids always ate breakfast. We did have desserts, but I just stayed away from that, most of the time. If I felt like going out to eat, I took the kids, especially as they got older. We did go to fast food places at times, but it was always a treat, not a replacement for dinner on most nights. I always felt that they needed to be exposed to all kinds of food and restaurants. Both of them are serious foodies as adults and both enjoy cooking.
One of the reasons I hated the few years my kids were doing youth baseball is that it interfered with our family dinner time. I did not like having to eat at 8 PM when they were younger, nor did I want to feed my kids hot dogs in the car, as my friends did. Well, this issue resolved itself when DS #2 decided he hated baseball. Once he got into cycling, the emphasis was on healthy eating, all around.
Food has always been important in my life, in my family, etc, but not in an unhealthy way. My mom was very health conscious for someone of her generation and was a fabulous cook. My brother is also a great cook and he just bought his first home and is heavily into growing his own veggies in his garden.

[goldfinch]

Family meals growing up were around the table and was a wonderful family time. We would talk and talk. We would make up stories, often going around the table, each person adding to the story. Fun times!

The food was typical 1950-60s fare. Meat, potatoes and overcooked vegetables. Food wasn't the important part and I don't recall anyone wolfing down their food.

I became obese, as did my sisters. My brother is skinny. He has the worst eating habits as far as quality of food choices (He is autistic and would eat the same thing day in an day out if given the chance. He won't eat vegetables or fruit.)

[Skip]

Thanks, lph! ::waves::

Thank you for the article link, Oakleaf, I enjoyed reading it. The book looks pretty interesting too, I will have to look for it next time I'm at the library!

I really like the idea of re-starting one's relationship with food in general, instead of just following the "is it healthy" route. One of the concerns I had when I started tracking what I ate was that I would eventually get caught up in number-crunching the calories of each meal instead of focusing on what the types of food I eat does for my body. I'm sure many people don't always realize what their bodies are capable of, especially when they are properly fuelled. And cycling is certainly one of the best ways to reverse that!

Thank you for the answers, limewave, Crankin, and goldfinch. I think it's great to see the differences in how meals and family-time are viewed because I don't think it's something a lot of people consciously think of. Like in the article Oakleaf linked to, I like how your families are involved in the process of the meal, not just eating it. I think it says a lot to see how you all try and establish a good mentality towards food for your family.

Jezbael, when I was cleaning houses I dropped about 15 pounds (from an already healthy weight) in a very short amount of time and I was starving all the time. I wasn't comfortable at all unless I was being active or eating. After quitting that job, I knew I was going to gain some weight back, but it still felt very uncomfortable when that happened and it's very hard to try an unsee what I was like even though I'm at the same weight from when I started cleaning houses.

[Serendipity]

Occasional poster here! This is an amazing thread with so many thought-provoking comments.

As a person that, at 54, has been challenged for many years to maintain a healthy weight/lifestyle with varying degrees of success, I continue to be baffled by a couple of things:
- food seems to be the only addiction that others (friends, relatives, even strangers) feel free to judge and comment on. Rarely do I hear comments about smokers, people’s consumption of alcohol or drugs, but it seems okay to comment/judge perceived overeating or unhealthy eating – much like limewave’s earlier comments.
- It’s the only addiction that one has to learn to live with in the sense that you have to continue eating. For example, I quit smoking many years ago. While it was difficult, the situation was straightforward – I quit or I didn’t – I didn’t have to figure out how to have one or two cigarettes and not go off the deep end. While I’m not suggesting that living with any addiction is easy, with food obviously you have to continue to eat to survive. It is a never-ending challenge to satisfy that need without succumbing to cravings, temptation, etc. etc.

Food for thought (pun intended).

[Pax]

Wonderful thread!!

A few thoughts to share: I grew up in a household with parents who had lived through the depression, and a military father who had served in many Asian countries where he "saw children eating out of trash cans and starving in gutters". This translated to the "clean plate club" mentality at our dinner table where you were required to finish the food on your plate regardless of appetite. This was never an issue when we were kids as we were intensely active.

It wasn't until I was injured as a firefighter that I started to put on weight, I kept "cleaning my plate" but wasn't active enough to burn off all the excess calories. Going from extreme activity to sedentary overnight wreaked havoc on my metabolism, and additionally to help alleviate the disappointment of losing my career, I ate. This started a pattern for my 30's and 40's, gaining and losing the same few pounds, considering myself fat but fit (excellent BP, heart rate, cholesterol, etc.), but never comfortable in my own skin.

Now, at age 51, I seem to have hit upon a workable way to drop weight. Looking forward to getting to a point where I'm finally comfortable in my (now somewhat saggy) skin.