Welcome, Caddy! The issues with the Crux weren't related to the frame itself -- it was the components and pricing. The Crux I tried out had SRAM Apex (which felt really clunky) and road-style brakes with very little clearance. Even so, it was priced $400 or $500 above the (discounted) Scott, which had better components. Upgrading or building a Crux from scratch with 105 or Rival would have cost me even more.
I think you'll be really happy with the Crux. I liked the geometry, weight and handling, and it's a good-looking bike! I hope you'll post pictures!
And WHAT is it with shop dudes like the one you spoke with? I'm around the 25th percentile or so for women my age, and right in the middle for American women overall. Hardly a freak of nature. But bike-shopping sure makes me feel like one.
2011 Scott CX Team/Koobi Xenon
2005 Bike Friday NWT/Selle Royal Lookin
2001 Bianchi Giro/Terry Butterfly Ti
1970s Centurion Le Mans/Ancient waffle saddle