I'm going to be in town Monday and maybe we can hook up. You need a pick me up!

MU has some pockets of intellectual wealth contained in a matrix of heartless bureaucracy. Which includes everything financial. For me it was trying to get health insurance when I was on a "prestigious" postdoctoral fellowship that made me ineligible for employee health insurance. You are not the first person I've heard of who has gone months without a paycheck at MU.

I don't know who is telling you to "just spend less" but they are WRONG. I hope it is not your adviser who has said that. S/he and your department should be going to bat for you, helping you navigate the bureaucratic hurdles.

You are right, the powerless feeling is the worst of it. Everything is more bearable if you feel empowered. "Financial aid" that leaves you feeling powerless makes you question whether it's worth it.

Hang in there!!!