shootingstar, i think she mentioned that she uses this forum regularly, but she signed on a new name coz she doesn't want us to know exactly who she is.

assumed name, this is really sad, i agree that you should talk to the dad, since you were friends before, but i'll be careful about what i'd say about (ex)fiance's erm... sexual preferences. I think its something that should stay between your ex and yourself, and perhaps a professional.

Maybe focus on stabilising your own emotions first and then you can work on the rest. It's better this happened before you got married, give him time to figure out what he wants in his life. You can't push him to do anything. You're his potential wife, not mother.

maybe sit down and think of the things you want to tell him, and write them down, so if you meet up with him then you won't get sidetracked. you have a list to follow. I thin it'll help you.

good luck.