Quote Originally Posted by Tri Girl View Post
Maybe it's jealousy that you're doing something athletic and he can't keep up, maybe he's worried you'll love to ride so much you'll get a new set of friends and he'll feel left out.
I do think a lot of this probably does come from insecurity. It's hard to get him to talk about it without it becoming a huge blown up fight. It is SO frustrating. I wanted to ride so I can feel better and be healthier.. I was quite frankly sick of being a lazy slob and doing nothing about it (my options are limited, with my knees - and cycling is one of very few things that doesn't kill me) and feeling like my kids were constantly wearing me out and I couldn't keep up with them at the park. I've noticed an immediate improvement in that area since I started riding, and it hasn't been very long... I can imagine that only gets better. I am by no means a speed demon though.. I have zero aspirations for racing or really getting faster, I just want to enjoy it and get/stay fit. I do want to be able to ride further, because that will expand where I'm able to go on my bike, but that's really my only goal, and I know it will come with time.

I do bike mostly by myself, sometimes with our 8yo... after DH gets home in the evenings, but I have by NO means excluded him - he just refuses to ride on the road with the kids, and doesn't think I should either. I don't think he likes riding on the road in general though - a few years ago he saw a cyclist that got hit, and didn't make it, and that image has stuck with him (even though the circumstances for that one were obviously unsafe - cyclist was out in the early morning, when it was still dark, no reflective clothing or lights, and not wearing a helmet, etc). I won't be able to keep riding in the evenings forever though, right now it's very dependent on the fact that it's still light out fairly late in the evenings.. I know that changes in the fall. I will be biking more with the kids when that happens (either at the park, or *gasp* actually on the road), and probably during the day while he's at work. Maybe that will make things better.. maybe it will make things worse, I don't know.

I found a bike club that rides "locally" for me (literally, many routes pass right by my house) and when I mentioned maybe joining some of those rides, he reacted VERY negatively to that. It's frustrating, and I don't understand it... I'd honestly love if he wanted to do something like that with me, but instead I'm left feeling like it's not even okay if I go on my own. The timing of most of the rides doesn't work well with me (early morning - I'm not a morning person, and the evening rides all start before he's usually home from work) so that's stopping me from going more than he is, but I still shouldn't feel like it's not okay.

I don't know.. I want to get a bike rack for my car and a better trailer to haul the kids in, which are things I plan on doing on my own regardless of what he does... maybe if I start taking the kids to the park to bike regularly and getting everything unloaded and set up becomes less of a chore it might make it easier to get everyone out.