Dear So and So

[crazycanuck]

Dear Parents of child wandering the street I was cycling home on today,

Umm...last time I checked, a child under the age of 2 should not be wandering down the street half dressed without anyone with it Ummm...why did the child escape in the first place? Your very young child crossed a main road..twice The freeway on ramp is just metres up the road Helloooooooo..*knock* *knock*

Oh, that's right, you're too busy to notice the little sprocket doing a houdini trick. Perhaps you might want to put a lock on the torn front screen door or does someone have to come and hold your hand to explain it to you? You''re the reason I believe some people should not be allowed to breed. Perhaps while they're there explaining good parenting, they might want to tell you how to clean up the front of your house.

You're lucky I was paying attention & a local council worker just happened to be there. If i could figure out what social services department to call, i'd make a complaint.

Signed,
Confused & rather annoyed cyclist.

[redrhodie]

Dear Client,

Please don't send me your political email. We are not of the same mindset, and since this is a business relationship, it's really inappropriate. Also, since I've dreaded every project I've done for you, I'll be refusing any future requests.

Sincerely,
Your Jeweler

P.S. Your husband is a jerk.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Along similar lines.....

Dear neighbors,
I like you well enough and we do favors for each other from time to time, but...
Please, if I come over for no reason other than to bring you a bouquet of fresh flowers from my garden, don't see it as a great opportunity to try to convert me to your religion and 'save my soul'. You know my views already, please have respect for them. I don't try to convert you to my way of thinking.

[cylegoddess]

Dear Cycling food manufacturers,

could you please make SOMETHING without wheat/grain/ glucose/rice/white sugar/ soy/ egg whites/ nuts /raisins? I am allergic.Even if it is nothing but ground up dates with apricots and quinoa, I will buy it until I die. I am sick of making my own snacks, as I have to make my own bread/cookies/soup/meals and am tired of this 'pioneer' crap.
And how about some honey based, non caffeine energy shots? It would be nice to have something that would revive me from near exhaustion without poisoning myself.

Dear Goddess of winds,

please do something about that 2 km stretch off nothing but headwinds both ways, on my commute. I know its not far but having to stop three times to rest while big men zoom by is demoralizing

Dear Cycling Clothing manufacturers,

for once, jeez, can you make a jersey for flat chested women? I can store two extra water bottles in the space left. And what is with the size of elastic in leg openings? Id like for once not to lose circulation.
And please, pretty please make some arm warmers and leg warmers that fit small ladies. Ill buy them in every colour for ever, just as not to have to knot rubber bands on my upper arms and over my leg warmers.

Dear Seat Makers,
not all chix like pink. your seats suck.

[cylegoddess]

dear Goddess of the universe( whatever you are)
thank you for the kindness of strangers and my clinic nurse,who see me when I am getting my every other week IVC. You care more about my getting better from being ill, than my own family. Patients, Thank you for telling me all you cycling storys, esp the cute man who with cancer , who rides weekly 75 km, who told me that all I need to do is intervals and he'd see me racing in five years.

Thank you for sending me my best friend,who took me to buy a cycle.

Please send me someone to ride with.

Thank you for not giving me cancer, even though what I have isnt curable, I can live with it.

Please send Good day sunshine her health.

Dear Lance Armstrong,

thank you for setting a good example. Because of you and my own will, I got up on days I could hardly walk and rode my bike. Im almost better now and it sure helped to pretend I was you ,on, terrible days I could barely stand and had to work all day, standing up, for those bad years. Every day was a new Tour.
I am on my bike.

[lph]

Dears powers that be, and you're probably female,

I need some peace of mind again. Have any to spare? I know it's spring and all, but this is so unsettling and I'm getting dizzy from the mood swings. I really don't need to doubt my entire life twice a day.

thanx chix

[Selkie]

Dear Powers that Be

Please let me receive that news I've been awaiting and making it be . If it is not going to work out, please give me the courage to accept it with dignity, grace and peace.