the NY Times posted an oped about "what Shamu taught me about a happy marriage" in 2006 (I believe)... lemme see if I can find it: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html well, that was easy... anyway, read it - it's funny, and it may help with the MIL and the husband . One of the methods I employ with my SO when he hovers ridiculously close when I am cooking is: here's the lettuce, tomatos, blah blah, would you mind making a salad... or I put snacks out for him... AWAY from where I'm cooking. At the very least, it's a bit of comic relief. Good luck - maybe you should hit the rum and egg nog