The thing is.....I haven't loaned her money....I just gave it to her. I thought her owing me money would end up causing us problems. But $5000 later I think giving her money outright is causing problems anyhow...at least for me. I'm starting to feel like I'm being used. It's really hard...I make quite a bit more than she does and almost feel guilty about it. But it's kind of like the ant and the grasshopper story. She spent her younger years partying and having a good time while I worked full time and went to school at night. It still doesn't help with the guilty feelings. If I have it shouldn't I be willing to give...even though I'm trying to save for a future retirement? As many of you know my DH is a cancer patient so our future is very uncertain...but I guess everyone's is when you get right down to it. I'm really torn as to what to do.

On this last "gift" she had about $500 left over that she didn't use. She didn't return it to me. The next time I saw her she had a fresh cut and new highlights and had been out shopping. It just didn't sit well with me.

I feel like I have an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other...one telling me to help and the other telling me I'm a sucker. Which one do I listen to?