Realty check - body image

[spokewench]

Buy a bra that fits right now! But I wouldn't spend $155 for it. You were fitted so you should know how they are supposed to fit now Go to a reputable store and buy a decent brand of bra that fits you now. You will really appreciate it. I did this a year or so ago and am very happy about it and, yes, even though I am really not overweight, I do wear a larger bra size that I was before and it soooo much more comfortable and flattering under my clothes which in turn makes me feel better. Then as your size goes down as you get fitter - go buy another bra or two - you are definitely worth it!

[LBTC]

Wow! I think good bras are much less expensive in the US! I must have tried on 15 bras in this little independent store, the cheapest of which was $80, the most expensive was $180. It made the price of the one I bought (yes, I did buy it - it worked very well with the low cut top for the alpha b**ch outfit) seem not terrible. And, yes, now that I know my size and the finer points of a good fit, I will visit a lower end store to buy one or two less expensive, well fitting bras. At least one of those will be microfibre. Too bad their microfibre bra was in the wrong colour.

I think one of the things that is weird about this larger cup size issue, is that it really emphasizes that I *must* have a well fitting bra all of the time. These girls need support! It's a bitter sweet feeling. For years I was quite a bit on the small side, and my perception of myself hasn't changed since then! How strange to be a woman!

My DH has been wonderful through all of this, wanting me to upgrade my wardrobe to help me feel better about me. This is a fabulous thing! And the clothes shopping really helped to make up for the high cost of the bra. A pair of suede and leather shoes, a belt, 3 skirts (one in leather) 3 tops and a suede jacket for $225. Still more money than I usually spend, but I think I did well.

Today I'll be wearing the fab new bra, one of the skirts and the shoes, with an old favourite blouse. I'll keep you posted.

Thank you for the encouragement, support and reminders to be gentle with me! And especially for the great stories of how unpleasant shopping can be! I feel like I'm not alone!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[kaybee]

Not sure which I hate more -- bra shopping or shoe shopping. Small chest + big feet = unpleasant shopping experience

KB

[Eden]

$155!! wowza, I balk at $15.......
but I am another 32A, so I look for minimal support and lots of comfort.
I prefer sports bras and I've really become a big, big fan of camisols recently. sooooooooo comfy

[teigyr]

I can relate to body image because sometimes aging is not kind. I stagger a bit and think "but...but...I've always been <insert size here>!".

It's humiliating. I do agree that things that fit are the best. Unfortunately I'm bad at that also, I balk at going up a size. I've had to swallow my pride though and do it and I honestly think we are harder on ourselves than others are to us.

I like bras. It's a relatively inexpensive way to (but not at $155! ) play and have fun. Same goes for undergarments in general, you can get any color and get all wild but nobody knows the difference. I'm not 100% impressed with VS in some things but they are good for others.

The most absolute worst thing (that I will share because I have no shame) is I had to get old/large people "support" undies to fit under pants I have. I got 'em. They looked SO heavy duty and were tri short configuration. (Had previously been wearing tri shorts under these pants because the pants show lines really easily.) I was running late and had to dress "professionally" so on went the support granny panties. They shredded. I kid you not, the first time I wore them I shredded underwear meant for large women that were trying to fit into smaller clothes. I was mortified. How many people can say they broke a girdle type undergarment?

Everyone assures me there was a defect. I am not convinced

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

...I was running late and had to dress "professionally" so on went the support granny panties. They shredded. I kid you not, the first time I wore them I shredded underwear meant for large women that were trying to fit into smaller clothes. I was mortified. How many people can say they broke a girdle type undergarment?
Everyone assures me there was a defect. I am not convinced

Hey maybe they were those special edible underwear, some sort of "cole slaw" variety? Maybe they were "supposed" to shred?

[teigyr]

Hey maybe they were those special edible underwear, some sort of "cole slaw" variety? Maybe they were "supposed" to shred?

Like stripper "breakaway" granny panties? Or, um, maybe they were edible and tasted of the "early bird dinner".

I exchanged them and let it be done. The poor saleswoman though...

[emily_in_nc]

Body by Victoria bras are the best IMO. They're pricy (to frugal me) at ~$40 depending on style, but they're sleek, pretty, and do the job. I don't wear a large size so can't comment on how well they work in larger sizes, but I know that they come in "full coverage" versions as well as the demi style I wear (34B). Pretty colors too!

Good luck!
Emily

[Triskeliongirl]

Body by Victoria bras are the best IMO. They're pricy (to frugal me) at ~$40 depending on style, but they're sleek, pretty, and do the job. I don't wear a large size so can't comment on how well they work in larger sizes, but I know that they come in "full coverage" versions as well as the demi style I wear (34B). Pretty colors too!

Good luck!
Emily

I secnd that. I buy the full coverage version. Been buying 36C but now they are on the smallest hook so I think I am headed towards a 34C. They are $40 new, but often go on sale. I think I paid half that at their last 'semi-annual' sale. They are good fitting and really seem to last. Is it possible for you to mail order them (useing the size chart).

[smilingcat]

HURRRAAYYY!!!! THEIR ARE OTHERS OUT THERE WHO HATE SHOPPING!!!

I get so self conscious. My common sense goes out the door. I know I need to look profession cause of my job. (Mr. Silver in his suit/tie and bike short was really wonderful). But what does a professional serious woman supposed to wear? I don't want to look like an never married old spinster grade school teacher. Nor do I want to look anything like Pamela Anderson (I don't have her boobies), nor any of the girls who are headlining all those tabloid rags aka Brittney and company.

I wouldn't mind having the kind of Audrey Hepbourn-nesque look but seriously who has such anorexic look.

As one of my close friend who also hates to shop said, "I was traumatized growing up. My mother would yell out we need a chubby size 12!!!" Afterwards, here honey have a cookie. It will make you feel better.

Speaking of which, I need to redo my wardrobe cause nothin' is fitting. Haven't cloth shopped for a whole year.

Smilingcat

[mary9761]

I hate my body, have for a long time and the longer I'm off the bike, the more I hate it and the more I want to eat (vicious circle) I have NEVER had a bra that fit and the ones I have right now are ill fitting 50DDD that are near impossible to find. I don't have 50-155 to spend on a single bra, but even when I buy a bra it may fit ok once or twice then the support starts to break down under the weight of my sagging behemoths. Even having lost weight they are a pain in the (fill in the blank). Since I've lost weight, they are saggier than ever. This is one of the first places I gain weight and last I lose, but the weight I lost has only made my body image worse in this case. They are nearly to my waist and I figure by the time I finish (if I finish) losing my weight they will literally be to my knees empty skin sacks with a lump in the bottom. I lay on my back, they fall into my armpits, I get too far onto my back and they smother me. I bend over too far they smother me. My husband loves me the way I am, but too bad I don't either way it's hard to feel sexy with all the loose skin as I lose weight and it's hard to feel sexy weighing over 300 pounds (thankfully not back there yet, but approaching it again.)
Sorry I know TMI..

[teigyr]

... it's hard to feel sexy with all the loose skin as I lose weight and it's hard to feel sexy weighing over 300 pounds (thankfully not back there yet, but approaching it again.)
Sorry I know TMI..

no, not TMI at all. Do what is healthy for you and what makes you feel good. When all's said and done, then get someone to fix the excess skin.

There is so much we don't have control of and when you find that place where you're happy and want to stay, ask for help to make it better. The cycling is such a good step to all of that.

I never believed in plastic surgery at all. Starting from way back when til about 10 years ago, I've had multiple surgeries on my abdomen. No matter what I do, I've lost muscle tone and it sags. DH, who is adverse to "beautification" as I am, even said that if I ever wanted, it should be fixed.

The way I see it there is vanity and there is "fixing". Be healthy, be happy, and for those things you can't do, have someone help you.

I know it's a struggle though.

[deedolce]

Ooog. I've been living in sports bras. Went to the VS site, and measured myself. My chest size is 1" smaller than my band size!! If there was a 36AAAA, that would probably be me.

My top, or lack of, is my biggest area of self consciousness, in the buff. Enough to make me stay single, even. Bleh. I look good on a bike, though!

[lph]

Well it's hard to say not having been there, but I think that if I ever gained and then lost a large amount of weight, I'd consider surgery to remove loose skin part of the "fixing" process towards maintaining a healthy, functional body, and not vanity at all.

Deedolce - the flattest-chested girl I ever knew (I swear, her chest was like a boys with 2 pea-sized bumps on it, she looked about 11) is also outgoing, funny, outdoorsy and is now married and has three children. You'd be surprised how many guys really don't care much about boobs.

And I hate the assumption that I'd rather be "bigger" than A/AA too. I wear unpadded bras, and dammit, that's what I look like!

[Dianyla]

no, not TMI at all. Do what is healthy for you and what makes you feel good. When all's said and done, then get someone to fix the excess skin.

Seconding this. A good friend of mine used to be obese in the 220-230 lbs range. She has completely changed her lifestyle and is an extremely fit person, teaching yoga, and being active. She's like a size 0-2 now. However, after losing all that weight she had a lot of loose skin. It was like pizza dough, she could pull and stretch it out 6" away from her body, and she actually had to tuck it into her pants. She had a pannus reduction surgery earlier this year and is thrilled with the results.

Just make sure you go with a good surgeon, it is a fairly major procedure.