Advice with Teenage Daughters & Piercings

[KnottedYet]

Oooh, I wanna be a woman of ill-repute! Can you do that when you're over 40?

<Knot-has-5-facial-piercings>

A lot of it has to do with what part of the country you're in, I'm sure. Around here you see some pretty "wild" piercings on very "clean cut" folks. My piercings are tame and boring in comparison. Age doesn't seem to matter here, either. I have a patient in his 60's with about 6 earrings in one ear.

What might seem rebellious in one part of the country could be pretty tame or even passe' in another part.

[DirtDiva]

You're never too old to have a bad reputation.

[steinspinne]

Oooh, I wanna be a woman of ill-repute! Can you do that when you're over 40?

<Knot-has-5-facial-piercings>

A lot of it has to do with what part of the country you're in, I'm sure. Around here you see some pretty "wild" piercings on very "clean cut" folks. My piercings are tame and boring in comparison. Age doesn't seem to matter here, either. I have a patient in his 60's with about 6 earrings in one ear.

Must be nice! Where are you from?

Down here in good 'ole Texas, once you get outside of the metropolitan areas like Dallas and Austin, things go downhill quick. I am very surprised my employers have been as accepting of my nose stud as they have. But I guess doing your job well and with a good attitude (no matter how much you don't want to sometimes!) really pays off.

[mimitabby]

Oh, one more thing. A story
when I was 16, a boy was hanging around that I was kind of ambivalent about.
My father asked me if I liked him. He said he didn't but if I liked the guy, he'd continue to be gracious and polite.
My father told me he didn't like the kid but gave ME the decision to make.
Within 24 hours I told the kid my father didn't like him and not to come around anymore!

Let your daughter know how you feel.. she might change her mind!

[KnottedYet]

Seattle.

I'm not kidding, my piercings are TAME compared to the folks I see every day. There are many co-workers who have more exciting stuff than I have, and as long as the jewelry is tasteful the powers-that-be really don't care. (some of *them* have great piercings, too.)

Mr. Silver - tell Silver-daughter that navel piercing is kinda passe' here in Seattle, and most folks I know who had them have taken them out. But don't tell her what's in-fashion here now... (big honkin' bars and stuff thru the entire helix of the ear, or clean ears with just the little cartilage flap in front of the earhole pierced)

[whippetgirl]

Check out this article from the San Francisco Chronicle.


http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cg...AGIEFKN7I1.DTL

I took my 16 year old daughter to get her belly button pierced. In Berkeley at Zebra. They hand out bumper stickers that say: "My honor student got pierced at Zebra."

It was okay. And their sterility standards were impecable.

[Dianyla]

Echoing the recommendations to go to a reputable piercer who is good at proper piercing placement and jewelry selection. I use titanium for all of my piercings because it is one of the safest least reactive metals. And, aftercare is the most important part of a piercing. Even given the best piercing and aftercare, it is very common for navel piercings to fail to heal. I recently retired mine after trying very hard for 15 months to coax it into healing, but no go.

I don't think a navel piercing is a big deal from a "morality" or "nice girls don't...." point of view. They are totally mainstream with most folks under 40 and with many folks over 40 as well.

Then again, maybe I'm not one to talk. I've got 10 piercings, only 4 of which are above the neck and publicly visible. You do the math.

[Triskeliongirl]

I am with Steinspinne and Knot on this one. I don't think it reveals any deep psychological problems, its just what kids do today, but make sure its done safely. I also think its great that she asked your permission. In giving it, you have more control in being sure its done safely. Also, its not permanent, if it causes problems or she changes her mind, all she has to do is take it out. Its private, so in no way will effect how a more conservative prospective employer, etc. views her. There are worse things, so if it were me I'd pick my battles. By the way, both my kids have piercings, and they are outstanding students at outstanding colleges. I don't like it either, but I respect their right to self expression and understand that it is simply a part of our modern popular culture.

[Crankin]

Well, neither of my 20 something boys have piercings, but the marine has the one required tatoo (big USMC letters on his bicep). Yes, this is the same one who shaved his legs all through high school. Personally, I do not like tatoos or piercings, other than in the ears, but almost every young person i have worked with has them. It's just a fashion statement, really. I would take Silver's approach. My kids tell me the important stuff and even ask advice on subjects that most sons would never discuss with their mom. Since I would prefer to keep things this way, my advice is to carefully choose your battles. Once you've cleared up the health/safety issues, then i don't see why she shouldn't get the piercing.

[SheFly]

You've gotten some good advice here.

Several years ago, right before a trip to the Bahamas, I decided I would get my navel pierced to suprise my DH. He was all for it. At that time, you couldn't legally have any body piercings done in our state, so I drove over the border to NH (where everything is legal ), and drove up and down the street until I found a place that looked "reputable" and "clean". It should be noted that I am probably the most conservative person you could ever meet .

Long story short - I got it pierced, something was wrong right away, I left it hoping it would heal and it never did. I ended up taking it out, and letting the hole close back up.

The funniest part? My little brother, when he found out, went ballistic. He couldn't believe that I would do something like that, and what was I thinking. This from the guy who has ARMS and SHOULDERS full of tattoos! I told him that at least mine wasn't permanent .

I think a navel piercing is ok, especially at her age. It's not really about rebellion (as others have said), or she wouldn't have asked permission. Remember that it isn't something permanent.

SheFly

[sandra]

<Knot-has-5-facial-piercings>

Ok, now we need a picture.

Mr. Silver, I must admit. My ears are pierced and about 2 months ago I DID decide to get the second set of piercings right above the traditional piercings. I had two sets of diamond stud earrings and they were just sitting in the jewelry box. I decided to go for it and I really like it.

So. It looks like you have lost. Let her go for it!

[Zen]

We love our daughter very much, she's becoming a responsible young lady, but I'm conflicted over what her motivations may be...

What does she say her motivations are?

[IFjane]

When my daughter was a teenager, she had one piercing in each ear. Once she became an adult (21, that is), she decided she wanted a nose ring. She is now 27 and still wears it. Do I like it? No. Personally I wish she would take it out, but that is not my decision to make and I will not tell her that. It is her body, she is a smart, responsible, college-educated adult & what I like or do not like makes no difference. I feel it is harmless and even if she decides to keep that nose ring for the rest of her life, it's her decision to make.

Mr. Silver, I agree with Mimi that you should pick your battles. There are far worse things she could be doing.

[singletrackmind]

Tell her all the old guys love piercings?

Ok, really, tell her how you feel about it and be prepared with a why, then let her choose or make her wait-yours and Silver's choice.

I'm for waiting. What's the hurry? Then again, I saw my sister's belly button piercing and it looked nasty forever, til she finally gave up and let it close up.

At least she isn't asking for a tongue piercing. Yet.

[Aggie_Ama]

I am not saying your daughter will but.... I went to high school with kids that had some one pierce their navals at their house because their parents wouldn't sign off and some ended up with some pretty bad issues because of their choice. I saw some gross infections and their was a rumor one girl got Hepatitis.

I don't have kids but I would think putting aside your dislike of it and letting her get one may be the safest thing for her. Tell her you don't want to see her playing with it (bizarre fascination of my friends with them) and you don't want to see it. Just from experience, I would consent so it is done at a reputable place. A naval ring is pretty darn tame IMHO, of course I was raised in Austin and we pride ourselves on "Keeping Austin Weird".