A lot of really great info has been shared here already...

Do you know what Mr Silver Dad's wishes are? If he is unable to make the decision, the time may come when you will have to. This is such a personal thing for people... their reasons why they want DNR orders or don't... and there is no right or wrong. You have to make the decision that is best and healthiest for your loved one. Which typically isn't what is best for you...

Silver and Mr. Silver, I want to share this with you too... I'm sure you already know this, but sometimes reading it can be helpful. Mr. Silver is IN the grieving process... and he may go in and out of the stages, which is totally healthy and OK too. I just think it's useful to understand the process...

http://www.counselingforloss.com/article8.htm

also here is some info that may be helpful about making the decision whether to use or not choose DNR:

http://www.emstar.org/dnr.html

I feel for you Mr. Silver... I dread the day, as we no doubt all do...