How do you stay safe..alone?

[margo49]

I actually feel safer alone when there is noone around.
I mean there is noone around, geddit.

[Mr. Bloom]

I keep teasing DH if these Ford F250s (the big trucks) keep running up on me I am getting a concealed handgun license!!! That might level the playing field.

Aiming at the tires, of course

[rij73]

All I can say is that this thread is making me really happy I live in the city. No matter where I go, hundreds of people are there also, and there is virtually zero possibility of being assaulted or even harrassed in any serious way. My fitness riding is in the park where you are going around in circles with a hundred other cyclists, joggers, and roller-bladers going around in circles. I feel so safe all the time. I walk my dog around the neighborhood at 11pm, and I run into others walking their dogs, couples coming home from dinner, etc., etc. I have never felt that I was isolated enough for anyone to get away with an assault.

My sister in rural PA, and my mom in rural FLA, freak out that I ride the bike "alone" and walk the dog "alone". What they don't seem to understand is how much safer it is in the city than where they live. I'm visiting my mom right now, and I honestly couldn't imagine going off on a bike ride here. Too isolated by far...

For those of you who do not feel safe... Follow your instincts, and be as prepared as possible. But, try not to let the fear keep you down. That's letting the bad guys win. If I had no choice but to live in a rural or quiet area, I would take self-defense classes and carry some kind of weapon handy. I carried mace in college.

[Starfish]

All I can say is that this thread is making me really happy I live in the city.

I'm visiting my mom right now, and I honestly couldn't imagine going off on a bike ride here. Too isolated by far...

For those of you who do not feel safe... Follow your instincts, and be as prepared as possible. But, try not to let the fear keep you down. That's letting the bad guys win.

We are all very different, aren't we!?! (As it should be.) I have lived in both very urban and very rural environments. I always feel safer in the rural settings, but the possibility of a threat exists in both. I have known people who have been both raped and killed in the urban environment. I have known people who have been the victims of home invasion crime in the rural setting.

We're all different, and the urban threats make me more nervous. And, I know that I would not want to give up those incredible rides out in the country alone, when I stop and all I can hear is the wind, and all I can see is an eagle overhead, or an elk at a river.

When I lived rurally, without electricity or phone (and no cell phone reception), I slept with the cabin secured, and myself in a loft. The only way up there was a hole in the floor of the loft. I kept a gun, used it regularly to stay fresh, and was fully prepared (I believe, at least...never having been put to the test) to use it on anyone who woke me up in the night by breaking through my doors, ignoring my warning yells, and sticking their head up through my hole in the floor. My brother thinks I'm nuts for not using the same philosophy by carrying a small handgun on the bike with me, not letting anyone get close enough to take it away and use it on me. We both know people who have been left alone in harrassment situations after revealing they were armed.

I'm know I'm not ready for that on the bike, yet. I'm still not sure I could use it in the harder to read situations outside home defense. But, depending on circumstances changing in the future, I would consider it.

[Jenn]

I actually feel safer alone when there is noone around.
I mean there is noone around, geddit.

EXACTLY...there is NO ONE around. You are running 25 with a tailwind, they are running 40 slam into you..........that's it........game over...sorry but I REFUSE to be that.
If you can't leave Target, as (bless her heart) Kelsey Smith in BROAD DAYLIGHT what are we suppse to do??
I am fortunate, living on a military base....I'm a "little" safer.....not much trust me..however, I will do whatever it takes, to ensure, safety and to be able to come back home to my HUSBAND and CHILD!

[Veronica]

EXACTLY...there is NO ONE around. You are running 25 with a tailwind, they are running 40 slam into you..........that's it........game over...sorry but I REFUSE to be that.
If you can't leave Target, as (bless her heart) Kelsey Smith in BROAD DAYLIGHT what are we suppse to do??
I am fortunate, living on a military base....I'm a "little" safer.....not much trust me..however, I will do whatever it takes, to ensure, safety and to be able to come back home to my HUSBAND and CHILD!

So what are you going to do Jenn, hole up in your house? You can't ensure anyone's safety, all you can do is manage your risk. As Mimi said a meteor could fall on your house.

My advice stop focusing on the high profile risks, like Kelsey. Think about the real risks in your life - diet, exercise, smoke free environment, sunscreen, seatbelts...

If you truly think violence is the biggest risk to you or your family, get a concealed weapons permit and be prepared to use the pistol to defend yourself.

V.

[Fredwina]

"those how would give up a little freedom for a little security deserve neither"
Ben Franklin
I agree with Veronica. There is no such thing as a "risk-Free" life. and the mainstream is very much "if it Bleeds, it leads". I didn't even learn about the Lady in KS until I saw discuss that. That's what I get for getting my news from the LA times and NPR.

[salsabike]

I 100% agree with Dianyla. It is an excellent book. Also, see if there's a class around in basic safety. The Redmond Police Department did one last year taught by a cop that was great. And if you want to carry something, make it pepper spray, not mace--cop's recommendation. But make sure it's one that is powerful enough to shoot out the spray 6-8 feet. I think Halt may do that. Bear pepper spray is what you'd want to look for.

I highly recommend that you read The Gift Of Fear, by Gavin De Becker. He talks a lot about the power dynamic that comes into play as attackers select their victim, and how to spot some early warning signs. Also, how to use your fear as positive motivation to avoid/escape a dangerous situation, as opposed to being paralyzed by it. It should be required reading for men and women alike.

[Jenn]

So what are you going to do Jenn, hole up in your house? You can't ensure anyone's safety, all you can do is manage your risk. As Mimi said a meteor could fall on your house.

My advice stop focusing on the high profile risks, like Kelsey. Think about the real risks in your life - diet, exercise, smoke free environment, sunscreen, seatbelts...

If you truly think violence is the biggest risk to you or your family, get a concealed weapons permit and be prepared to use the pistol to defend yourself.

V.

Wow.....the anger.....Tell her parentts that, and I'll make sure my 16 month old is packing.What BS....

[Kano]

I'm pretty sure that if we get hit by a car that's going 40mph, it's not going to matter how many people are around.

I've gone to Target thousands of times in the last 42 years (didn't know it existed before then), and every single time, I've gotten home safely. I think that speaks well of my chances for safe returns for the next 42 years....

Events like either of those are pretty rare. Scary things happen a little more often, Unfortunately, illness happens on mostly daily basis -- I have decided I'm living a charmed life as far as health goes, since it seems like everyone around me has some sort of stuff going on!

While I'd prefer to come home to my family every time I go out into the world, I think I'd prefer to go out doing something I love, or at least something quick and surprising, than to "inflict lingering" on them.

Karen in Boise

[crazycanuck]

Please ensure you don't spend your whole life paranoid! Gee, stop bubble wrapping yourself against society and go out and live.

Just keep your eyes open & if someone does say something weird to ya, don't respond and move on. Think rather than react.

I agree with V.

C

[Velobambina]

The events of 9/11 really show that none of us are immune, even in the "safety" of our offices (The Pentagon is a secure building but that didn't stop someone from flying a plane into it).

I agree with Veronica, Kano, and Canuck.

Life is hard enough without making it more difficult by worrying about "what ifs." Enjoy what makes you happy and try to respect & be kind to everyone, even folks who might not agree w/your opinions.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Wow.....the anger.....Tell her parentts that, and I'll make sure my 16 month old is packing.What BS....

Who's anger? If you come on a forum and ask people's advice and opinions on something, you shouldn't call their replies "BS". Veronica's advice was valid, thoughtful and polite.

[Eden]

Who's anger? If you come on a forum and ask people's advice and opinions on something, you shouldn't call their replies "BS". Veronica's advice was valid, thoughtful and polite.

Have to agree with V as well. Life's too short to be worrying about ending up on this week's unsolved crime show... I would guess that you probably have about as much chance of being hit by lightening (and as we have maybe two, three thunder storms a year at the most in this area the chance of being hit is pretty remote...) as being taken by a serial killer, so I just can't live my life in fear of something like that.

As far as Jenn goes - I don't know if she's still lurking or not since she started a thread to tell us all that she was leaving (but she did that once before too....), but if she is - frankly I think you totally overreact when you post and someone puts up an opionion that you did not want to hear. It's not an attack - its an opinion that differs from your own and the poster has a right to it. If you only want people to confirm what you are all ready sure that you know maybe an open, diverse, worldwide forum is not the best place to seek advice.... And compared to many other forums this is a real sanctuary, without the insincere BS and name calling that goes on on a lot of other boards. From what I've seen no one has posted anything I would construe as rude or offensive towards you.

[Python]

To throw my tuppenceworth into the melting pot.

I've said this before, but if we were to worry about what might happen, we'd never get out of our beds in the morning.

As for the possible threat of violence. We have a big problem with that in the UK just now, thanks to a government that's soft on crime.

However, I'll be blowed if I'm going to pussyfoot around, be afraid to go out alone, on the bike, walking or whatever. The day I become afraid of living my life how I want to, go where I want, when I want to is the day the pondlife and scum of this country win, and so long as I am able to I will not allow that to happen.