*sigh* Wedding planning

[xeney]

I agree with everyone else: you just do it. Our situation was different because we got married on a whim at our friend's house on New Year's Eve, but we did have a reception a few months later for family and friends. It was smallish for a wedding -- about 75 people -- and very informal, but it was one of the best days of my life, and I am glad we did it our way.

We figured out what we wanted, and what we didn't want, and we stuck to it. The hardest part was the two of us agreeing on things: I thought it might be nice to have a photographer, he thought that was over the top. I caved on that one. I had a fun idea for favors, he thought those were too weddingy, but he caved on that one. Neither of us wanted a "wedding cake" (and the price tag would have scared us off anyway), so we each picked a fabulous cake from the best bakery in town, and we just bought two sheet cakes. We had them cut in the kitchen so that we would not have to make a production out of cutting the cake/feeding each other. My husband wanted music but neither of us wanted to deal with a band or an obnoxious DJ, so he rented audio equipment and I made the song list on my iPod.

We held the party at a restaurant that is run by a local children's home -- it's all volunteer, and they put on weddings and events and all the proceeds go back to the children's home. The food was fine, not gourmet by any means, but wedding food is always wedding food unless you are willing to spend an absolute fortune. We had decent wine and beer and champagne. My nieces wanted to be flower girls, so we said what the heck, we aren't having a wedding but we can have flower girls. They got to dress up and carry buckets of rose petals, which they threw at the feet of all the guests. The ladies from the children's home were our waitresses, and they were so sweet, everybody loved them. Lots of guests made a point of telling us they had made donations to the children's home because they'd enjoyed the party so much.

Our moms and my sisters-in-law did the flowers. Our dads did the toasts and set up the audio equipment. I bought a simple dress that I love to pieces, and we told our guests to wear whatever they wanted ... some of my friends went all out with vintage dresses and outrageous hats, and some people wore shorts, and a few dressed up for real. It was an excellent time, and if I had it to do over again, I would do it all exactly the same way.

That is the answer. You just figure out what you want, and you do it, and you roll your eyes at anyone who tells you that you are doing it wrong.