Dear Powers that Be:

Thank you for letting our house close. We are most relieved to NOT own property for the first time in 10 years. Our rental is lovely and cute, and we are very happy with it. As a rental.

Dear Buyer:

Did you really have to make us move part of the recycling because the bin was too full just before closing? It's unfortunate we're just across the street, because after this process, we never, ever want to see you again. You are the queen of petty sh$%.

Signed,
Your neighbor who will be ignoring you