I really think our Lola kitty's time is nearing. This sucks. And I feel like our reason to have her put down is not reason enough.

I took her to the vet a few days ago and she mostly checked-out OK. She has a very mild bladder infection and was a little bit dehydrated, but her blood work looks good. She's happy, she has a good appetite, and seems to be comfortable. She purrs, she bumps heads, she even sort of plays with the laser pointer beam, though her vision is pretty foggy from cataracts, so mostly she'll watch it and reach a paw out if it gets near her. She hardly gets around, anymore. She sleeps >90% of the time. She's rarely awake other than to eat. She's been gradually declining for years, but has markedly slowed-down just in the past month or so (suddenly not jumping up on counters at all...not long ago she would struggle to get up there, but would usually manage). When we had a cold snap a couple of weeks ago she could barely move...she seemed so arthritic.

But the worst is that she keeps peeing on the floor. Little puddles all over. For a the past 6 months or so she was only peeing in the dirty laundry--that we could mostly deal with. We even brought up a litter box to the main floor of our house, thinking she was just getting lazy. Then we brought up a second one, thinking maybe she likes to poop in one and pee in another. But in the past week or so she is peeing wherever, 4-5x/day. Several times I have stepped in puddles...in the kitchen, bathroom, and on the wood floors. We think she simply isn't realizing that she has to go in time to get down to the litter boxes. Now she's not even able to get into the dirty clothes in time.

We're leaving for Death Valley in less than 2 weeks for our JDRF fundraiser ride. My MIL is staying here with our DS. She is far less patient with pet messes than we are (she had a cat put down when it became inconvenient for her to find care for her cat while she was off spending weekends with her boyfriend )...and we've pretty much lost patience.

But I feel like a complete arse for even contemplating having Lola put down. She will be 18 on Halloween. People don't have their parents and grandparents euthanized when they start losing bladder control...

The rational side of me thinks - Lola has been on thyroid meds for several years, is arthritic, pukes a lot (though less so on wet food) and not able to use the litter box appropriately anymore...but my heart says so much of that just feels like the sort of rationale used by those wretched people who have happy animals put down when they are the least bit of a nuisance.

I hate gray areas. This decision would be so much easier if she were dealing with tumors and/or seizures, like the last kitty we scheduled to have put down (he actually died in his sleep just hours before our appt. We dread having to take a living cat to the vet to have the injection. I'm a sobbing mess sitting here writing this--how will I ever make the drive with Lola in her carrier to the vet?).

This is, by far, the worst part of having 4-legged family members. Lola has literally been with us for almost half of our lives. I was 20 and DH was 21 when we got her. We weren't even engaged, yet, but she was our first "child."