Ironically, yours is a story that I hear mostly from male rider/racer friends about their wives.

I consider myself VERY lucky that my DH and I share the same passion and goals. We train and race together (although he sometimes pushes a little hard, and I might push back - just a little). We are, however, an anomoly, I realize, so I'm afraid I can't offer much advice to you there.

What I do want to comment on, however, is your assertion that as a thirty-something you are at the "tail end" of racing competitively. I started my racing career on the road in my LATE thirties, and moved fairly rapidly up to a Cat 2 level, where I am currently racing - AT 42! And yes, I am still competitive... I also race with other wome in their 40s and even some in their 50s and 60s who are out every weekend at the races.

So, while you may think now that this is something that you will do for 2 or 3 years and then "give up", I caution you about that. Every year, I think "this is the last year - I'm not racing next year" and then, I end up racing again. It has become ingrained in me, and is part of who I am.

Good luck to you. I do hope that you and your SO can come to terms with your relationship as it relates to your riding/racing. Having the support of one another is really important.

SheFly