I think in the very least that it might be worth your while to get evaluated by a mental health provider to determine whether your tendency to control and/or obsess about things is just a garden variety personality quirck or something more serious like generalized anxiety disorder or OCD. I certainly don't want to assume anything from your post....

Even if it is just a personality quirck, I agree with Tulip that counseling can change your life and is well worth the cost.