on being a mom

[Tri Girl]

I'm in the same situatuion as you, Badger. I don't like babies (except for looking at them and thinking- how cute). I don't have a motherly bone in me. I teach (I guess I do have a teeny motherly bone for that) and I think that's the reason I don't want my own children. I see how difficult it can be. I'm not blinded and think that they are so wonderful and life will be greater with them, etc. I know it's darn hard work to be a good parent (and I also see everyday how easy it is to be a bad parent).

When I was little I always wanted kids. Now that I'm 35, I don't think so. I have 17 neices and nephews. I'm totally at peace and OK with my decision. DH is too. I don't think it's selfish, I think it's responsible and honest. We love our freedom, being able to travel at a moment's notice, and our carefree life. If we accidentally get pregnant, so be it- we'll love the little one with all our hearts. But if I get pregnant, it'll be because that child was SO supposed to be here (we use multiple methods of BC).

In our society, something is seen as being wrong with you if you don't have children. It's expected that you'll grow up, get married, and reproduce. After 12.5 years of marriage, people have finally stopped asking us "when are you going to have a little one?" My mom still says "who will take care of you when you get old?" and I always respond "my 401K."
Every one of my friends (but one) has children. They all LOVE being moms and always talk all about their kids (and I share my dog stories), but I love not being a mom. To each his own.

I think whatever happens is supposed to happen. I'm kind of a believer in fate. Good or bad things happen for reasons, and if it's supposed to be, it'll be.

I guess there were no words of wisdom, but wanted you to know you're certainly not alone.