I don't have anything directly on point to add to what's already been said. But I have to respond to what you said about "going to pieces." I get VERY triggered at funerals. I felt EXTREMELY inappropriate at the funeral of my ex-husband's grandmother whom I barely knew, crying more than anyone else there including her daughter, my then mother-in-law; or at the funeral of a former boss, crying more than anybody including his young widow. I just couldn't help myself. After that, I decided I'd resort to chemical aids . Funerals are the only time I drug myself to numb up these days, but I believe it's best for all concerned if I do.