venting frustration about a lost month-long

[marni]

October is when I get all the yearly poke and prod, smash and mash check ups done . It started out with a routine mammogram, which degenerated into a second mammogram two days later, which was followed by a needle biopsy to diagnose a ductal carcinoma in situ a week later which led into a meeting with a breast surgeon and an oncologist and the decision to do a lumpectomy with the option of going in for a second lumpectomy two days later as necessary. In between, I hit the dentist, which was relatively painless and short, and a well woman check up/ pap smear/ fasting blood work which both had to be repeated because the results were inconclusive. Then I had to register for the lumpectomy which is scheduled for Thursday the 28th. so last Friday I went in for blood work, yet again. I had a student who took a stab at each hand and at each inner elbow and then gave up and turned me over to a nurse who had another two stabs at the backs of my hands and at my lower arms, followed by yet another nurse who finally got a viable result on the third try. Today both my arms and hands are black and blue and purple. I look like a druggie after a bad session. Did I mention that I bruise easily? It was painful to do anything with my arms with the trainer but I persisted and we did a lot of pylometrics and core instead. The follow up consultation,after the lumpectomy which may or may not lead to having to schedule another lumpectomy depending on what they find, will be a week from the 28th so there is another blood letting session, another long commute, long wait etc and possibly another forced hiatus and another training day lost. In the meantime Dad needs to see a dermatologist for a couple of pre-cancersous skin tumors on his back, and an eye doctor about his retinitis. That will take us almost into the middle of November.

I am not worried so much about the lumpectomy as they keep reassuring me this is precancerous, but not cancer, it is neither aggressive nor invasive yet and I have great faith in both ladies . What I am frustrated about is that every one of these incidents except for the blood draws has required a 48-72 hour no physical activity recovery period.

My FIL who lives with us, works with a trainer in the gym on Tuesdays and Fridays so I go and do an hour of cross training or cardio while he works with the trainer, then by the time we get home, have lunch and I get him settled for an afternoon nap or whatever it is often 3:00pm and the schools are letting out and every possible access road is full of SUV idiots on cell phones driving to get their children, or trying to get through, and or school buses as well. I work with a trainer on Mondays and Thursdays, which used to mean that I had two days to ride,Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but no longer because of Dad's schedule.

My best bets for getting in any riding time is to ride in the afternoon on Tuesdays or Fridays,fighting commuters and school buses going and coming or do back to back on Saturday and Sunday. Needless to say the dr.s are usually only available on Wednesdays and Thursdays, so I have been letting dad take my friday session when I can't do it, or can't take him to the gym because I am on the way to or already elsewhere, but I am feeling very frustrated by the lack of biking time. Snatching and hour here and there and then having to take two to three days off sucks.

Maybe tomorrow night I will have two beers and a pity party- Can you tell I am routine oriented and don't take changes kindly?


thank you for listening, and now back to your regular programming. :}

[azfiddle]

Hang in there and good luck on the upcoming procedures. Sometimes you just have to let it out...

[jelee1311]

That blows ,I'm sorry. I think at this point for sanitys sake even though I loathe the trianer Id plug in my I pod and ride. Just until you get your life back. Good luck on your procedure and with your dad and give yourself a break

[OakLeaf]

(((((((marni)))))))

Take good care.

I wish you the absolute best, speediest and most complete recovery with the choices you've made.

Do keep in mind that you always have choices. Read, read, read.

Gentle hugs to you.

[indysteel]

(((((((Marni))))))). I'm so sorry. As Oak said, I hope you have a speedy and complete recovery and that you're soon back to your routine. Hang in there!

[Catrin]

What everyone else has said Marni - hoping a fast and speedy recovery and that all of this will be over before you know about it.

I certainly understand being routine oriented, just hang in there!

(((Marni)))

[redrhodie]

Wow, that's a lot. Take care of yourself. Things will be better soon.