something i'd like to know? (re: housework)

[caligurl]

something i read somewhere made me wonder.... how many of you married women or women living with men do ALL the housework... all the dishes? all the vacuuming? all the laundry? all the cleaning? all the cooking???? etc!

i get irrited when i see posts from men that say they don't do that cuz they have a wife (or live in girlfriend)! YIKES! both of us work and we both do things around the house... granted i do the laundry.. cuz i have my quirks about it.... but once it's folded.. he puts his own away... i load the dishwasher... he unloads... we both vacuum, clean the bathrooms... clean the catbox (ok... he does that more than i do!) HE takes the trash out and cleans the dog doo!! lol! but we pretty much both do things...we both work... we both ride... ones not the "boss" over the other... it's a partnership!

and for your lurking men.... do you help around the house?

[Bikingmomof3]

DH does half of the housework, care of the kids, ect. We work together as partners/equals.

[mimitabby]

I do more than he does; but often he cooks, cleans the kitchen, sinks, toilet, and does laundry. he also does 95% of all bike work.

so the answer is, I do more; but if he didn't do any it probably wouldn't work! It's close enough to 50-50 for me considering his job takes a lot more hours out of the day than mine does.

[caligurl]

It's close enough to 50-50 for me considering his job takes a lot more hours out of the day than mine does.

see! that's cool... and it works for you two! i mean... if i didn't work at all... then i'd do a lot more (but i still wouldn't take out the trash and scoop the poop! )

[annie]

When I was a SAHM, I did almost all the "house" work. I was there. I had the time, usually. When I went back to work, I was still doing it all..... for a short time, when I decided it wasn't fair, I couldn't do it, and I was going to go crazy. So we had family meeting, set some new standards, and while it hasn't been perfect all these years, it helped. I do my part. Hubby does his. The boys do theirs. I probably still do the most, but that's partly 'cause I want things done my way.

annie

[bike4ever]

Gosh, I though dust was a protective coating for furniture.

[caligurl]

Gosh, I though dust was a protective coating for furniture.

well... you notice when i listed the chore splits... i NEVER mentioned dusting!!! (i DESPISE dusting! HATE it! WORST chore in the world!)

[HappyAnika]

We split things up, very similarly in fact to Caligurl. Except I always do the dusting and vacuuming because he just can't do it to my standards. We share the cooking, and whoever doesn't cook cleans up the kitchen. My standards of cleanliness are definitely higher than his, and it was really difficult to train him how to do some things. He's good at the bathroom and the kitchen, but like I said he just can't vacuum very well. Overall I do more of the cleaning, but he also does a lot more work on the house in terms of things like fixing leaking faucets. We also have some minor reconstruction projects that he does more work on than me (like rebuilding our double hung windows, squaring off doorways, installing crown moulding, etc. . .).

We both work, we both ride and work out, we both take care of the dogs. If I was home more, like when I was unemployed, I would gladly do more around the house, and definitely cook more.

[HappyAnika]

I should also mention that when we have a baby (hopefuly in the not too distant future), we are hiring a cleaning service. I feel like I barely have enough time for my dogs as it is. I will gladly pay someone to dust and vacuum so I can spend more time with my family.

[light_sabe_r]

I can't stand Vaccumming. BF reckon's it's strength training so I let him do it. He's very good at it

I love folding so I usually do it. We dont' iron much

We both cook when we feel like it, and we both clean kitchen bathroom etc equally.

I dunno. i'd say it';s 50:50.... although the house is a mess at the moment so we can both take blame for that. ^_^

[five one]

I think we're pretty close to 50-50. I do the cooking, but he'll do some prep if I leave a note. He does all kitchen clean up after dinner. Laundry - him (taught by me ). Bathrooms - me (I have higher standards of cleanliness). Everything else is negotiable, done together on the weekends mostly. The process has been honed over 35 years of togetherness - almost 32 married. DH is self employed, leaves the house at 4:30 am, often works 12 hour days. Then he gets on his bike, which he takes with him, and rides or comes home and trains in the garage until I get home. I feel very fortunate he is cheerfully willing to do most anything around the house. I wish I had as much energy.

[colby]

Another interesting question. I have a slightly unusual home situation in that my husband and I share a home with my dad and my younger brother, who is 13. The three adults work full time, my dad teaches on weekends in winter (skiing), and my brother is in middle school (high school next year, sigh).

When it comes to chores, we kind of have a system that looks like chaos. We each do our own laundry (I do my husband's), but if clothes need to be rotated, we pitch in. My husband does daily dishes and kitchen duty, but we all try to pitch in on keeping the counters clear. My husband sorts the mail, but I sort it first to find important stuff, and I pay the bills (and do taxes, ugh). My dad pays some bills and buys the groceries, but we plan meals together and I try to shop with him so he's not alone. We all bring in the groceries, we all put them away (unless it gets crowded!). My dad cooks most meals, but if I'm home, I will help cook (and clean somewhat afterward), and sometimes we'll go out (we trade off paying each time). My brother is assigned miscellaneous chores, like vacuuming some part of the house, cleaning up his computer area (no computer in his bedroom), cleaning up his bedroom, that kind of thing. Whoever remembers takes out the trash/recycle. I can't remember the last time my husband cleaned toilets/sinks/showers, bathroom duty is kind of my thing, though my dad and brother have their own bathroom that I never use and only clean for them when company's coming over.

It's a delicate balance with 2 peoples' habits and personalities, it's a more delicate balance with 4. You really have to work to make a family successful, just like any relationship. We still have a lot of clutter and sometimes general house cleaning waits longer than it should, but I don't think we realise just how busy we are. Cleaning service is sounding better and better

[KSH]

something i read somewhere made me wonder.... how many of you married women or women living with men do ALL the housework... all the dishes? all the vacuuming? all the laundry? all the cleaning? all the cooking???? etc!

i get irrited when i see posts from men that say they don't do that cuz they have a wife (or live in girlfriend)! YIKES! both of us work and we both do things around the house... granted i do the laundry.. cuz i have my quirks about it.... but once it's folded.. he puts his own away... i load the dishwasher... he unloads... we both vacuum, clean the bathrooms... clean the catbox (ok... he does that more than i do!) HE takes the trash out and cleans the dog doo!! lol! but we pretty much both do things...we both work... we both ride... ones not the "boss" over the other... it's a partnership!

and for your lurking men.... do you help around the house?

When I was married. I did it ALL.

Paid the bills.
Worried about keeping a job to pay the bills.
Washed the clothes.
Cleaned the house.
Went shopping for the food and cooked.
Made sure his car got oil changes, etc.
Made sure he went the dentist, etc.

ETC... ETC... ETC.

He basically did nothing.

Oddly, I never want to be married ever again... go figure.

[mimitabby]

When I was married. I did it ALL.

Paid the bills.
Worried about keeping a job to pay the bills.
Washed the clothes.
Cleaned the house.
Went shopping for the food and cooked.
Made sure his car got oil changes, etc.
Made sure he went the dentist, etc.

ETC... ETC... ETC.

He basically did nothing.

Oddly, I never want to be married ever again... go figure.

KSH you sound perfect for my son! (except he cooks and cleans in the kitchen!)

[maillotpois]

We're pretty even. We're both full time attorneys and we both ride bikes. I do most of the helping kid with homework, dinner prep during the week because I tend to get home earlier than he does. I tend to go into work earlier and leave earlier than normal business hours because it helps my commute immensely. I also try to work at home as much as possible.

The laundry stacks up until we both get so sick of looking at it that one or both of us folds it. I generally keep the laundry "going" in terms of making sure things get washed - mostly because DD is so fussy about what clothes she wears and we've been burned too many times on a weekday morning with her having no "right" pants.

Whoever cooks dinner doesn't do dishes. He's a better cook than I am so I do a lot of dishes.

I do 95% of the work on my own bikes. I still can't pull a crank or adjust cables well, and sometimes he'll step in and do something nice like putting on my new tires for me.

I always take the trash out or he'd forget. I almost never vaccuum. We do have cleaners every other week, but if the animal hair, dirt or whatever builds up too much between, then he deals with it.

I do all the dog transport (our dog has to go to Guide Dogs to breed every other month or so), but I'm the dog person.

I do most of the kid to doctor/orthodontist type visits, but DH's mother does a fair amount too. I do all of the working in school or field trip driving - but his mom will work my shift at school if I cannot. My work is a little more flexible than his - and it's also still tough for men to take time from work for school things whereas it's more expected of women. I'm lucky that his mom's nearby so I can volunteer for regular school work and not sweat if I cannot make it because of work.

It's pretty fair. The only time I get a little peeved is when I come home from work after he does and he is sitting at the computer, having done nothing to get dinner ready. He's the president of our tennis club, so he spends a fair amount of time at night on the computer dealing with all the work associated with that. So that gets a little old! As soon as I get home my priorities are 1. has kid done her homework? 2. has kid been fed or is there a plan in the works to do so?