Thread Drift

Love reading you Emily. We are 2-4 years from retirement. I'll be 55-57 then. We are already looking at selling our home (then) and being either a full-timer in our motorhome (probably a bigger one at that time). Staying in a US warmer climate in the winter (6-7 months) - but not too hot as I don't like heat that much contrary to hubby - and the other 5-6 months we have to remain "stable" in one province in Canada in order not to lose our health benefits. And it is rather complex if we had wanted to remain in the States all year long (being Canadian sometimes has it's downside vs our travel to USA. hihi). So we are looking to maybe purchasing a "modular" home on a campground. Where we have our motorhome parked for the summer, they have very beautiful modular home that are less than half the price of our current home and fairly big. That way, we would not feel "isolated" and people in campgrounds are always happy, always some action around, etc vs staying in a condo or single home (even if smaller). Feels like on vacation all the time. And no close neighbor (top/bottom) to disturb/be disturbed.

I just can't stand working anymore. I feel we are "wasting" the good years we have left in us :) Especially getting up at 4:15am (hubby but the whole house is awake then anyway), this is the killer, and traffic..ohhhh traffic! But husband can't really quit his job with the city right now or he'd lose too much out of his pension plan. Makes a huge different to stay that extra 2 years. Worst case scenario, he leaves in 2 years with a lesser pension from the city, and I keep working for that extra 2 years. In the meantime for those 2 years he'd be retired and I'd work, I'd keep piling up my own pension plan, clearing debts, look for a new place to stay, and dream of the day we are freer of time in certain ways. I've already started de-cluttering stuff we don't really need. My part is easy. It's to get hubby to get rid of his stuff that is harder. He is attached to all he owns...me ... I don't care much about stuff. As long as I cover my basics, I'm good. hihi Any furniture we'd like to keep... would fit in that modular home. So we would not "lose" everything by downsizing. Luckily, I'm more a minimalist when it comes to furniture. I don't have anything I don't use. Only the guest room would have to go. The rest I can keep.

We would like to travel in the motorhome to visit everywhere in Canada/USA. No interest in Mexico (I don't feel safe enough - unless it's an all inclusive type of trip - like resort). But because of laws, health benefits requirements per province, our $ vs US$ so weak, etc...it does complicate things a bit and would be too costly to do year round. Anyway, we still have a good 2 years at least to get the plan into a more realistic goal. Can't wait! I'm more than ready mentally...just need to get a bit more cashflow before. :)

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Originally Posted by Crankin

I give you guys who are (were) caregivers credit. It would be very hard for me to do this. I've lived far away from my family for many years, so my brother got that job, just virtue of location. I gave moral support, advice, and money, and visited.

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Ditto. After helping to move DH's parents into assisted living and being around them quite a lot during that time, plus several visits since, I know I could never be a full-time caretaker. They are very needy and difficult at times. Caregiving, especially for elderly folks with dementia and physical limitations, is extremely exhausting and takes an awful lot of patience and unselfish sharing of time. I admit I'm not too good on either of those attributes, nor is my DH. We did a great job with the physical work of cleaning out their house efficiently and quickly, but the emotional "work" is much harder for both of us.

I know my mother, if she is widowed one day (likely, as she's in much better health than my stepfather, despite being 12 years older!) wants to move into some sort of elder apartment. She knows with our crazy lifestyle that we don't have a house with a mother-in-law suite to move her into, and my younger brother, while a sweet and super smart guy, is just not equipped to care for her in any meaningful way. So, hopefully I will just be able to be close enough to visit with some frequency. She is the primary reason that I am not too keen on heading back to Mexico anytime soon.

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Originally Posted by Helene2013

Love reading you Emily. We are 2-4 years from retirement. I'll be 55-57 then. We are already looking at selling our home (then) and being either a full-timer in our motorhome (probably a bigger one at that time). Staying in a US warmer climate in the winter (6-7 months) - but not too hot as I don't like heat that much contrary to hubby - and the other 5-6 months we have to remain "stable" in one province in Canada in order not to lose our health benefits....

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Why thank you! Sounds like you have some good plans. But just a thought: perhaps you shouldn't close the door on Mexico so quickly. The cost of living is low, and there are SO many Canucks there! I had never met so many Canadians until we lived in Belize for 18 months and then Playa del Carmen, Mexico, for a year. I am still unsure about RVing there (though I know many do it; caravans seem like the safest way to do that), but flying there and renting an apartment or house is great! Lots of six-months on, six-months off Canadians, as Mexico is cheaper than the US (by quite a lot), has all different types of weather depending on where you choose, amazing food and culture, and some of the nicest people I've ever met. Yes, there are dangerous areas you would never want to visit or drive through, but so long as you avoid those and the entire drug trade, at least I felt safer there overall than I do in the US.

Helene, you sound like you have good plans, but it must be hard to be just waiting those "2 more years" to get there. I get it when you say you are sick of the commute, though. I've structured my life to be totally unstressful in that regard; I work 2 miles from my house! Except for my first therapy job, where I drove to client's homes for 2.5 years, I haven't driven more than 6 miles to work since 1999. The job that DH just took involves some traffic, but it's not that far, about 18 miles. He is hoping after he settles in, he will work flexible hours. In his last job he went in early (6 AM) and left by 4 when I was teaching, and he continued to do that even after I switched to a different schedule.
I'm still working because it's a no-stress situation. If I had changed careers even 5 years earlier, I would have started my own practice. Clearly, it would have been way more financially lucrative. But, I didn't want the work of running a business, or the stress of it all. I know i am lucky, because DH's salary allowed me to have this choice. Indeed, he stuck it out there longer than he should have because of the money. But, it paid off. He was able to take a job he really wanted, without regard to the salary, just like I did, because of the fact we are just about at the retirement savings we targeted, we sold our house and moved to a smaller place, and we essentially have no costs, except utilities, clothing, food, and having fun!

I feel like I did something wrong. I've been putting money into a 401k for decades. Not the maximum amount, because I can't afford that without severely cutting back on day-to-day expenses, but a decent amount. I have a good job that pays well. But I seriously don't think I'll ever have enough set aside to be retired full time. Maybe if I bought a home earlier I would have equity from that. But as things stand I will be paying off a a mortgage for a long time. And then I suppose I will move into some sort of retirement community if I can afford it.

Given my parents' age, it's likely that they'll need more help from me and my siblings while I'm still working full-time. I have one sister who lives near them and I am next closest at 300 miles away. The others are on the other side of the country; they are very generous with financial help. One good thing about my current job (if it lasts) is that I could work remotely from my parents' house if I needed to spend more time there to help take care of them.

I agree that being a caretaker is definitely not easy. I know people who have cared for their parents for years, including setting up an apartment for them within their own homes. I'm always amazed at the emotional strength that they show.

I don't think you've done anything wrong, NY. You do a lot of things most never get to do. We were lucky in selling our house in Boxborough at the height of the boom. Of course, we never should have, as our house we just sold this year was 11 years of major repairs and remodeling, but it was cool and we liked it. But, if we had not impusively bought it, our other home would have been paid off long ago. I have never connected with anyone in Concord, but given the fact I only moved 9 miles (now about 6 miles, from the condo), it's all the same. I am glad my kids went to school where they did and not in Concord. Despite taking a beating on our house sale this year, we have a bit of a profit that will help us pay off the condo in a year or so. We put down almost 50%, it was the cheapest listed home in Concord except for "tear downs," and we were able to do this because DH got huge bonuses at the job he left. It was the first time we didn't have to use one of these bonuses for a home repair! We made some bad financial choices at the beginning of our marriage (well after we had kids). We took a major beating moving here from AZ, and we pretty much had to pay to get rid of our very lovely home in Tempe. It was the right choice, but it took years to get back to the type of lifestyle we had and live in the kind of town where our kids would get a good education and not be the "weird ones." It was actually harder for me than them, when we first moved here, in a place that was a perfect mismatch. There were a few years where I was teaching high school, teaching 3-7 aerobics classes a week, and teaching Hebrew School when my kids were young. We needed the money to provide them the same kind of upbringing I had... I was young, in my early 30s, but it took its toll on my health. All of my friends were stay at home moms who had been married awhile before they had kids or had family help. It was hard. I feel proud that my salary when I was teaching was enough to pay for my older son's college and his car. We wanted them to to have a clean start and no loans. Of course, he went to a state school, so that helped! My younger son felt strongly he wanted to do it on his own and that was part of his motivation for joining the military, which was weird for a kid coming from a Boston suburb. He did it himself and ended up with a full scholarship at a school that is extremely selective and has a commitment to veterans. We could not have afforded it!
I guess what I am trying to say, is that sometimes you never know what will happen. We just decided that having experiences was more important than the big house and other stuff, which was what allowed us to do all of this downsizing.

Crankin,
No choice to tough it up until retirement. My job pays very well. I'm not that far from work but Montreal is a mega road repair road construction thing. And I live too far to cycle there due to bike paths not well planned for the area I live and where I work. And we are not allowed on main bridges. If I opted to change job and get closer to home (no bridge to cross), that means a drop of over 10,000-15,000$ a year. That is a lot. I think the worst is not the commute but being awake at 4:15am because hubby has no choice due to his job. They don't have flex schedule like I do. My job itself is ok. Lots of pressure lately due to job cuts - so those who stay end up doing more, for same pay. But we are very well taken care of and part of the top 100 employers. So "suffering" for the next 2-4 years could be a whole lot worst. :)

If I could downsize right now I would. But with 3 very active dogs, 2 are getting pretty old but have energy for 10, I need to keep my yard. I just could not think to move in a condo, nor a town house with little yard. By the time we retire, I will only have one (sad sad) probably. I had 6 pets (3 dogs and 3 cats). A cat was euthanized 3 weeks ago due to old age and no longer able to walk (liver failure). So I'm down to 5. Can't see myself in a tiny space for now. Things will be very different down the road. I want to get there quickly, but not so because that means some of my pets will have crossed the rainbow bridge due to age. :( It will be a rough start to retirement for sure.

Retiring younger than the norm I may decide also to work at my vet clinic during the summer months. That is something I would love to do. I have a good background in that area as well (studied 3 years in the dog world to understand behaviors, grooming, obedience, infectious diseases, parasites, name it). So I would a good helper there! Not just in the euthanized part of the job. Or I could even mow grass or work at the front desk a day or 2 a week if I stayed at a campground for the summer (in Canada). That would help me keep busy, mentally and physically. We'll see when we get there. But definitively no getting up early anymore. haha

Emily,
I belong to a french RV forum and a few go to Mexico every winter for the past xx years. They say the lifestyle is way different "poorer" than what you find in sunshine states but also much cheaper. It all depends at one is looking for as for services. And I don't speak Spanish either (yet anyway...could become useful to take classes at retirement though - a goal what! hihi). I have enough of my French and trying to improve my English. :) but who knows what the future is for us. We did go to Cancun so many years ago and it was not a resort. We had the "chance" to see the real lives of Mexicans...not the all-glittery one of resorts. So not the same! I don't know if I'd love Mexico enough and feel safe. Maybe if I stayed a winter with someone who has been going there for ages it would help me. Some things are cheaper but I read that insuring a motorhome is expensive and we need to use the Mexican insurance. I have not really read on that.

NY,
I do put money into RRSPs, etc. Hubby has a city pension plan which is much better than what I have. My company puts a max of 7% into retirement funds (they equals what I put in). Of course that means I have to put a whole lot more if I want to retire before 65 as I will depend on my own reserve until 65 when (and if as now we never know with things changing at rapid pace) I should be allowed a pension from gov't. But interest and compound alone are not enough. It is never like the "good old days" where money was maximized quickly when invested. Not the case for so many years.

Well...gotta get back to work if I want to keep paying my toys and mortgage. :)

You are right, Helene, in that you will be young when you retire and it is not that long. For me, it is such a fine line between working too much and being bored. I recently started doing a group for victims of domestic violence. The only way I could fit it into my schedule was by doing it on Friday morning. Even though it's only an hour and a half, and I love it, I feel like it is a bit much, when I've been used to having Thursday be my last day of the week. I did let my boss know up front, that it will not be running in the summer. Obviously, it's not a big deal, but it worries me that I still have the urge to "do" a lot, and when I slow down, I get bored. My husband says I just need to relax, but I feel like I always need to have plans, either social or athletic.

Well I honestly believe none of this matters today. For the first time in my life I am truly ashamed to be an American. I am literally sick to my stomach thinking about the future.

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Originally Posted by ny biker

Well I honestly believe none of this matters today. For the first time in my life I am truly ashamed to be an American. I am literally sick to my stomach thinking about the future.

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:( Me, too.

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Originally Posted by ny biker

Well I honestly believe none of this matters today. For the first time in my life I am truly ashamed to be an American. I am literally sick to my stomach thinking about the future.

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Agreed :(

I will say that before this election I saw no real chance for a true retirement for lots of reasons. Assuming my pension and social security do not both disappear then I will need to find a different type of job with fewer hours at some point. After this election? God only knows, and I mean that literally.

However today I have certain tasks and I will continue to carry those out, and try not to allow my fears and anxiety take over.

If I had the funds I would consider moving back to Canada...I lived there briefly in the mid-80s and really liked it. I'm not entirely joking, but it isn't an option.

I love this quote from Yogi Berra : “I tell the kids, somebody’s gotta win, somebody’s gotta lose. Just don’t fight about it. Just try to get better.”

So hopefully things will look brighter soon for those who do not see it just yet (including many people in Canada). We only can move forward from now on.

Returning to Mexico is looking pretty good as of this morning! I too am frustrated, sad, angry, and shell-shocked. I truly did not expect this as I am an avid reader of political sites/blogs and consumer of news, and very few predicted this outcome.

I always try to stay positive and look for the silver lining, but it's pretty hard at this moment.

I'm taking a carpe diem approach.

Did I show you all my new necklace? I found it in a small store in Harpers Ferry, WV, handmade by one of the people who works there. I wore it today so I would have something to make me smile.

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As the saying goes, "be careful for what you ask". This isn't a political site so I'll just leave it that.

I'm a flat liner so I'm not elated nor depressed with the result. Maybe its the Japanese background. It is what it is and live with it. Life is shibui.

Peso has lost significant value overnight.