Inferiority complex during group rides

I don't know what happens to me during group rides. When I go out to ride by myself or with DH I am dialed in and just hammer. When I get around other people I fall apart. Am I mental or something? Today we rode in a group ride and I acted like I had never been on a bike before!

Though I am a sort of newbie to group riding I KNOW what I need to do but I just lose all confidence and end up looking like a goob and everything goes out the window. I'm totally beating myself up about the ride. I forgot the sunscreen, got lost, chastized by a fellow rider for not calling out (as I should have done), walked up a hill, scared going downhill, felt like I was going to puke or cry or both, and was passed by a 70-ish woman with a good 50 lbs on me.

When I ride alone or with DH I feel invincible, fast, capable. Why does that fail me during group rides and what can I do about it?

I'm sorry you are having such bad experiences with groups. :( I don't like to ride in groups for that reason myself. I get all nervous when I'm around others, like I need to be "all that" and should be better than I am. I ride with a training partner, and although we rarely stay together because she's faster than I am, it's great to have someone out there with me, but have no ego or nerves about being around others.

Perhaps you're just a better solo rider, and don't put any pressure on yourself, but when around others you feel you need to "live up" to other's non-existent expectations? That's me, anyway.

I guess I don't have any good advice, but just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I'm fine by myself, feel good and confident, but put me with others and I get the jitters.


Take care, and I hope others have words of wisdom for you! :)

Yea i know what you mean. The group which i rode with had a very serious feel going on about them. On my very first ride with them, I was feeling a little intimidated. Because of this, i started stressing out about everything and everyone. In fact, I didn't even finish the distance that time (the undersized bike i borrowed didn't help as well, it was for a 5`6 person)

So yea, you're definitely not the only one around! I'll say, don't pressure yourself too much. People in the group may pressure you, but there's nothing you can do about them. Just don't put added stress on yourself by worrying too much about what they are thinking and just do your thing. But if group riding turns out to not be your cup of tea, riding with a partner can be just as rewarding :).

Personally i prefer to ride with a partner, but i feel safer riding in a huge group when it comes to taking on the roads. And its because of this, thats why i'm still sticking to group rides.

FYI, i was talking to some of the guys in the group, and they do not admit to any pressure on newbies on their side of the fence... Its all fun and games to them...but i sense that is just hogwash.

The bike club I've been riding with recommends that you start out riding with a group one level below what you really think you are. Would that maybe help you find your comfort level in group riding, and then move up in a little bit to match your real riding ability?

(unfortunately for me, that lower level would be riding our bikes around the block, and getting popsicles from one of the cool moms:rolleyes: )

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Originally Posted by latelatebloomer

(unfortunately for me, that lower level would be riding our bikes around the block, and getting popsicles from one of the cool moms:rolleyes: )

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Hey, where do I sign up? :p

I don't ride with a group, but do like riding in the organized rides. I don't have a problem with those because I quickly fall to the back :eek: :D but it's all good. I'm a newbie and I guess what helps me is that I adopt the attitude that I am not out there to win a race, I am doing it to get healthy, lose weight, and most of all have fun.
As far as other riders chastizing you, just chalk it up to them helping you if you make a mistake, and learn from it. They don't have to be rude because no one is perfect, but if you aren't told then how do you know and learn.

I went on an organized ride last weekend, and I was quite suprised in the fact that I heard none of them excpet 1 or 2 call out when they passed. I know that while everyone was bunched up and spreading out that maybe it wasn't needed but once everyone got there niche they should have been, and trust me, I was up towards the front and quickly fell to the very back, so everyone passed me and no one called out. So see even experienced riders forget thier biking etiquite sometimes.

Just try to have fun with it, and don't get real competetive in the begining.

Thanks for the great advice! I think attitude is (almost) everything when it comes to group rides. I think it was a combination of things. Mostly going in thinking I was going to be smokin' and then getting spanked. :rolleyes:

It will be a great help to just focus on my own performance and goals instead of worrying about who is passing me on what and then determining halfway through that I suck and turn whiney :o . Thanks also bloomer for suggesting riding with a group slightly less than my ablility or at least equal (that might be more possible :p ). It's all good though! I am not giving up on group rides just yet but if it turns out not to be for me there are lots of other niches that I can fit into. Thanks again for the encouragement and advice!

I have to say that I really enjoy group rides. But I am also a Mountian Biker....not a Roadie....so maybe that has something to do with it. I started riding alittle less than a year ago, but activily started riding for the right reasons within the month. That was after a 3-4 month down time. I still love group rides. And I have to admit that I am the lowest level of rider in the group. I am not in shape and to top it off I have asthma. The group we ride with is mainly guys. And I actually feel more confortable in the group than with the DH alone. Becuase other people encourage and let me know that I am doing good. So maybe it is the people in the group, but I do know that most guys dont expect you to be the best and they will be the first ones to lift you up when you are down on the ride.

I was trying to be encouarging....maybe just get to know the people you ride with, so you dont even think about being "all that" around them it all just comes natural.

Sandy

I've felt too intimidated to go into an established group, so I've been riding with people from here at Team Estrogen and people from Bike Forums, and they're great! It's not a group that has been together for a long time, so it's easy to feel welcome...abilities are all over the map and most important...we're out there to have fun, be social butterflies and EAT! Our post-ride meals are very important to us. :p For me, that has been an easier transition into group riding than trying to jump into an established group.

I can so relate. It wasn't until this year that I became brave enough to do group rides. I picked the beginner/recovery ride and usually do that one. I also do one that is one level above that. I like to go with someone I know and then, I feel much better and less nervous. I have gotten to know some cool people on the rides and so it feels more comfy for me now.

Don't give up though...It does get better :)

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Originally Posted by latelatebloomer

(unfortunately for me, that lower level would be riding our bikes around the block, and getting popsicles from one of the cool moms:rolleyes: )

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Hee Hee, lol. I was thinking the same thing, kids on trikes. :D

Let me know when and where this group is meeting ane I'll be there with bells on. :)

It sounds like you've got a bit of performance anxiety and I can tell you that you're not alone. It's easy to feel that you're being judged by others on the bike -- afterall, the best riders are the fastest riders and they quickly move to the front. However, most of what makes a rider a good rider isn't controlled by that person -- it's genetics, childhood athletic history, etc.

Try not to stress about your abilities. How you ride a bike isn't related to your worth as a human being.

Performance anxiety can be crippling, especially in group situations. And lots of folks suffer from it. Actors get stage fright, blind dates trip up the stairs, folks in bars spill drinks, bike riders forget sunscreen!

I'll share a story. I'm a good rider. I've been leading group rides and coaching team for a long time now. But I still get nervous about being in a new situation (I'm shy by nature).

When I started riding as an adult, I'd signed up to do an AIDS Ride. Every week I would RSVP to go on group training rides and every weekend I would chicken out and just ride by myself. Sometimes I'd even show up to the training ride but not go over to the group. I was just too shy and too afraid of being judged. I finally got up the courage to join the group rides, but I was still nervous and did silly things (fell over at a rest stop and gashed my leg something fierce on my pedal).

The group I lead is a very non-threatening club. For one thing, it's all women. And I'm always surprised when someone tells me they're too intimidated to come on one of our rides. It's a good reminder to me that we all need to grow into our comfort zones.

I recommend you pick one person in the group who can become your buddy, even if it's just for the day. Focus on doing a ride with that person (not the whole group). And then, try to meet as many people as you can so you feel familiar with the group.

And remember, your life worth isn't a reflection of your ability to ride a bike!

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Originally Posted by velogirl

I recommend you pick one person in the group who can become your buddy, even if it's just for the day. Focus on doing a ride with that person (not the whole group). And then, try to meet as many people as you can so you feel familiar with the group.

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This is a great suggestion for a new rider joining an established group. And if you are one of the established group members, try to be open, supportive and inviting to the newbie on your ride. It's just a way you can give a little back to the cycling community. Remember we were all newbies at one point!

First of all there are some strong older women with weight on their bones that can blow away alot of people; weight, size, age means nothing in cycling. Experience is the key.

I do alot of Club riding and I always tell newbies to hang in the back and attempt to find your own pace. Trying to ride someone else's pace in order to stay with the pack will blow up your legs. Just do your best each week to hang with the rear of the pack and with experience, you will find yourself inching up towards the front. Alittle patience is needed.

Don't give up - there are alot of benefits with group riding. It brings out the compeitive spirit in me and makes me want to ride harder. I've also learned so much from folks I ride with. But I didn't start out front. I hung back, rode by myself alot until I built the skill, speed and endurance to stay with group. Just give yourself some time.

Thanks for the advice ladies! I guess I had gotten my panties all in a wad about that ride and just need to get over myself! I am my own worst critic for sure! I am going to try a novice group ride with the local club next Thursday and see how that goes. I will try to get there early and meet people before we set off on the ride. I am actually looking forward to it and hopefully I won't get nervous during the ride. Performance anxiety indeed! :rolleyes:

my first "real bike" was a road bike. I rode by myself for a couple months and was doing really well. Then - I did my first road ride. Don't know what happened!! My DF's best friend was suppose to ride with me. He met girl and they dropped me on the first hill. So I was riding my first group road ride in an area I knew NOTHING about with total strangers! I got stressed and kept hitting the curb and flipping my bike. Luckily the group I was with was very nice..but other groups kept passing us and would build up as much speed as they could and zoon by yelling "on your left!" I'd hit the curb again. :mad: It was a horrible experience!!! Even my own group started scoring my wrecks. I've never wrecked that much - even mountain biking with clipless pedals!

I went on more rides. Mostly because the friend was determined to make it up to me! They did get better but I never fell in love with it. I always liked riding alone or with 1 other person much better. Good luck though!!