Hard ride today... I contemplated giving up

I went on a 42 mile bike ride today. Now, I knew I might be dropped, but not as horribly as I was.

I figured I would be able to keep up, because a few people from my "Tri 101" group joined the ride. I kept up for 20 miles, barely... running 17 mph average.

Then, we turned around... and it was OVER for me. I just DIED. My tummy started to grumble... and every hill I had to go up... I got slower and slower.

The thoughts that ran through my head:

1) I suck at cycling. After 1.5 years of riding, I can barely keep up with people who just started riding 3 months ago.

2) I suck at tri's. I can't run (a 12 minute mile... shin splints, etc.), and I can't ride fast. Why do I do this at all?

3) I wish someone with a truck would come back and pick me up and take me back.

4) Another HILL! Just keep pedaling... don't walk up this hill... don't do it!

5) I suck.

6) I'm hungry.

7) Damn the wind. Why did the wind decide to start blowing really hard?

And on... and on... and on...


Luckily, there was 1 GUY behind me. When he passed me, I hung with him and one other guy to find our way back to a road I knew.

Then, I stopped. I fixed my helmet (was sliding off my head), I took my long sleeve shirt off. I ate some gel. I rested.

A guy came back to check on me, as he wondered what happened to me. We rode the last 8 miles back together.

My ending average was 15.4 mph.


So, it was a very hard day and at the end of it, I had to keep reminding myself that even though I am a poor athlete, that I do this for the fun of it... and to have a reason to workout.

I tell you what though, it gets OLD being last and slow. Really old.

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Originally Posted by KSH

I tell you what though, it gets OLD being last and slow. Really old.

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Hey KSH, hadn't heard from you in a while, maybe I was just inattentive, but it's good to see you're up and hanging in there.

I don't think you should put yourself down like that. First, it can only make you feel slowlier, and be slowlier. But most importantly, it doesn't matter what speed you ride at, how fast you climb hills, etc. You're out there, you're enjoying it (or you should), just smile and keep going.

Last year I did only one race, it was a very long one (150 km), there was supposed to be a 25 km/h pack but everyone ended up leaving together and the guys at the front were pretty excited. Very soon my two friends and myself were dropped so badly that the truck that was picking up the signs passed us. I was pretty mad, as we were actually riding a bit faster than 25 km/h. Eventually, I could feel that my two (male) friends were able to go faster, so I asked them to drop me and they took off.

I came in third or fourth to last, out of 176 people. (Said male friends came in about 10-15 spots before me, not much more.) I was off the bike only 8 minutes in 6 hours. But there were also about 25 DNF (did not finish). I finished. And I know that I survived the distance, a lot of it by myself, with major hills and a lot of headwind, especially toward the end. At a few moments I was quite discouraged, and I discovered that my bike was not very well fitted for long stays in the drops (my soft tissues started hurting BADLY in that headwind). But I had great moments of admiring the landscape around me, talking to other cyclists I met (some of them dropped like me, others not in the race), and marvelling at my own ability. After all, so few people can even do a quarter of what I'm doing.

And someone has to be last!

So my point is: it doesn't matter. Unless you're a professional athlete or wanting to be one. I have a job that I care more about, and other aspects in my life. I could/should train more, but I also like to do other stuff, and professional development is also important for me. I'm sure you have stuff you care about and that's more central to your life than cycling or triathlons. Yet, sports are a very cool, and very healthy complement, as long as you keep it healthy and positive. You're way fitter than 95% of the population, no matter how bad you think you are.

So hang in there, and hang a smile on your face. You're a tough one. Take pride in it.

Dear KSH,

I hope a good meal, maybe a hot bath, and a night's sleep helped. Don't give up. You just had a hard day, a hard ride. Sounds like you bonked--ran out of fuel--and that produces powerlessness, physical, mental, and emotional.

It's early in the season. You were low on, or out of fuel. Maybe at least a bit dehydrated. You were riding in the wind, and on hills. Yet you maintained an avg. of 15.4 mph over 42 miles? You have my respect.

I love doing triathlons. I ran a 1/2 marathon and the Chicago marathon last year. Tomorrow morning I'm running the 8K "Shamrock Shuffle". My speed? 12 mph. Sometimes a little faster, when I am better trained. Slower on the marathon. BTW, over 7,000 people did not finish the marathon. I did.

Did you know that you are part of the approximately 1% of the population who's ever done a triathlon? Eat up, rest up, plan your nutrition strategy really well next time, and take heart! You're an athlete because you are out there doing it. (((KSH))) Lise

Hey KSH

I wanna let you know that you're not the only one that wonders WHY we do it at all. I am slowish BUT i'm getting there.

Don't feel bad about being slow on Tri's-I came third last on mine & had to laugh at my placing...Not last..third last! Also, i was 5 min behind the folks in my tri group...I'm just learning how to run and don't care if i come last, i will get better & my aim for 2007 is to do an olympic distance tri....

As a mountain biker, i'm a bit slow BUT i'm not out to race...I may not be great technically but i go out every week & try to learn the trail & hone my skills-I too hate hills-* pea gravel hills..:mad:
On the karri cup ride(102Km) we did in march-I was behind the main bunch but way ahead of the team riders and rode mostly on my own. It was 38c, the first 3 sections were hills (pea gravel, rutted etc :mad: )& i wondered what the &&&&& am i doing here? The heat got to me but i made it halfway...

REMEMBER you're out there doing the activity-think about the other members of the population sitting on thier behinds doing nothing & complaining they can't do it. You're off your behind & out there!!! You're doing tri's :) !

I admire anyone that gets out there and makes a wholehearted effort. DOn't give up whatever you do.

Take care & a nice big :)

Cheryl

My gosh, you had the same day I did yesterday!!!

42 miles, can't keep up, what the heck am I thinking? I don't know how your winter training has been going, but don't forget, it's still early in the season! We will get better! :)

I'll be glad when I can ride and, at least for some of the ride, not have someone else's bootie in front of me!

We've all been there. Some days, you just don't have the juice. Those are the times where you can just enjoy the ride in other ways.

There is nothing shameful in not being a speed demon. You're out there, riding, and doing something good for yourself. Just enjoy the journey :-)

Ohh KSH.... I feel for ya! But let's break this down..
First of all, you mentioned a grumbly tummy... You know you cars don't run on fumes, and neither does our body. Sounds like maybe you needed some fuel.
And second... Who cares if you average 15 mph?! That's what I average, and I have yet to come in last at ANY race I've done! Don't judge yourself by looking at others. There is always gonna be someone, faster, thinner, better looking, with a nicer bike, cuter clothes... need I go on??
I guess maybe that's why I train alone. Because I like to ride *my* pace, not someone elses. And my pace on any given day can be different.
You see I'm slow. I suck at swimming, suck at biking, and well... pretty much suck at running. But I LOVE doing it, so it doesn't bother me. A few years ago I decided that I wanted to get faster on the run. So I spent thousands of dollars over the course of a year to hire a coach. He did take me from an 11 min mile to a sub 10, but I was still pretty pokey by most peoples standards. But besides having alot lighter wallet, I also ended up with some nasty overuse injuries. I was simply pushing my body too hard.
So I had to become one with my pokieness. I figure my body is built for endurance, not speed. But that doesn't make me any less the athlete.
besides, the folks at the back of the pack are so much friendlier than those at the front. I;ve found the FOP'ers tend to take themselves WAAAYYY to seriously! :p

I'm with you, Denise. My own pace is my own pace. I'm just back from the Shamrock Shuffle 8K. I don't know my time yet (I never remember to look at my watch when I cross the start line! :rolleyes: ), but I ran the whole thing. Walked through the water station, for about 10 feet (can't drink out of a paper cup and run at the same time!). Slow and steady. I even ran up the "hill" at the end. Wanted to sprint across the finish line, but I was so middle of the pack that there was a wall of people right at the finish line! Sometimes I started to speed up to match the people passing me, but then I slowed back down to my "all day pace", as a friend calls it. I am definitely built for endurance, not speed. I just get such a rush from doing it at all. Lise

Dont be hard on yourself. Some of us out here dream about an average speed of 15 mph. I did 40 miles the other day and it was pretty flat and my average speed was 13.5 mph. So Im not fast, so I may never be able to join some clubs because Im too slow but I love to ride and Im out there giving it my best and thats what really counts.

So keep riding and giving it your best and remember some days just suck.:D

Good job Lise! How was the weather out there today? It's nice here. No wind. But the air mass feels "heavy" if you know what I mean? Like the tree's aren't really blowing but it FEELS like it's windy. I hate that. But it was WARM!My FAVE!! :D
Let's hope next sunday is ALOT like this!!:D :D :D

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Originally Posted by Running Mommy

Good job Lise! How was the weather out there today? It's nice here. No wind. But the air mass feels "heavy" if you know what I mean? Like the tree's aren't really blowing but it FEELS like it's windy. I hate that. But it was WARM!My FAVE!! :D
Let's hope next sunday is ALOT like this!!:D :D :D

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Sounds like perfect weather. I know what you mean about "heavy" air.

In Chicago it's cold, grey, and damp. ie: It's April. The crocus and daffodils are out, and that's wonderful. I just got up from a nap, and it looks a little brighter out than this morning. We truly lucked out for the run. They were predicting rain, but the first drops didn't fall until my two friends and I got in a cab to come home. By the time we finished brunch, the rain had stopped.

My challenge is to remember that, while I really heat up while running, I chill quickly afterwards in this weather. So I was great on the run, peeled off my headband, gloves, and jacket by mile 2, and then had a backpack full of another layer of clothes to put on afterwards. A hot shower, a steaming plate of chilaquiles, and I was happy.

Hoping you have your favorite weather next Sunday. :D L.

KSH--How're you doing today? L.

Thanks for all the kind... wonderful... sweet replies! *wipes a tear* I truly appreciate you taking the time to care enough to respond with such thoughtfull words.

I rode 30 miles today, it was a "fun" ride... we got to stop... use the restroom... and rest along the way! Great ride! I averaged 13.5! HA! It's a no drop ride though, and that's the way it goes. I know I am not terribly slow. It would just be nice if other people in my tri group were my speed!

I also ran about 3.5 miles. Yea, I was slow but I kept moving and did what I needed to do, for me.

I also found out that for my Tri 202 10-week training, we are going to be doing that 42 mile ride (with hills) every Sat., with the same group of people. UGH!

So, I have a few plans in mind:

1) I am going to eat more before the ride (around 500 calories) and put food in my tri bag to eat during the ride. I might have done better had my tummy not been grumbling.

2) If need be, I will stop at 12-15 miles, wait for them to come back (they go out/back the same way), and ride with them 12-15 miles back. That way, I get 24-30 miles in, and I might not get dropped.

3) Find the one person who I know is slower than me and see if he wants to hang together. Of course, he needs to know the route???

4) Send my Tri coach an e-mail asking for the route. That way, I can have a map to follow. So, if I do get dropped, I can get back!

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So I had to become one with my pokieness. I figure my body is built for endurance, not speed. But that doesn't make me any less the athlete.
besides, the folks at the back of the pack are so much friendlier than those at the front. I;ve found the FOP'ers tend to take themselves WAAAYYY to seriously!

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I am in this to have fun and I like to be friendly. I guess my body and mind was made to be in the back of the pack. And if I trained alone, I wouldn't give a damn.

Note to self: start thinking about training alone again.

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Originally Posted by Grog

Hey KSH, hadn't heard from you in a while, maybe I was just inattentive, but it's good to see you're up and hanging in there.

I don't think you should put yourself down like that. First, it can only make you feel slowlier, and be slowlier. But most importantly, it doesn't matter what speed you ride at, how fast you climb hills, etc. You're out there, you're enjoying it (or you should), just smile and keep going.


So my point is: it doesn't matter. Unless you're a professional athlete or wanting to be one. I have a job that I care more about, and other aspects in my life. I could/should train more, but I also like to do other stuff, and professional development is also important for me. I'm sure you have stuff you care about and that's more central to your life than cycling or triathlons. Yet, sports are a very cool, and very healthy complement, as long as you keep it healthy and positive. You're way fitter than 95% of the population, no matter how bad you think you are.

So hang in there, and hang a smile on your face. You're a tough one. Take pride in it.

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I have been around!

I am not a professional athlete and honestly, my body wasn't made to be one! I too care about my job and professional development, and I will remember that when I am alone on some country roads in the future!

Thanks so much!

I will stay positive!

Good for you, KSH! Your plan sounds good. Keep us posted. Funny how you had fun on one ride, and the other was misery. It goes like that some days. Take care, Lise

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Originally Posted by Lise

Good for you, KSH! Your plan sounds good. Keep us posted. Funny how you had fun on one ride, and the other was misery. It goes like that some days. Take care, Lise

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Hee-hee... well... when you do a 30 mile ride where you get to stop, rest, refill your water bottle, eat, use the restroom... and you average 13 MPH with no hills... it makes for a better ride!

Two totally different beasts. I like the beast that is snuggly and cute... not the one with big fangs and talons! HA!

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Originally Posted by KSH

Hee-hee... well... when you do a 30 mile ride where you get to stop, rest, refill your water bottle, eat, use the restroom... and you average 13 MPH with no hills... it makes for a better ride!

Two totally different beasts. I like the beast that is snuggly and cute... not the one with big fangs and talons! HA!

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YAH! That's my kinda ride! :p L.

KSH,
I loved your first post. no I am not some sado-masochistic type person...it's just that to know that others have been in the same (low) place makes one feel "not so alone". I read each line and said "yep, remember that ride", "yep, remember that one too"...and I could so remember feeling like giving up, said the same things you did to myself. It was like I was there with you!!

I think everyone here has propped you back up, and you probably propped yourself back up after the ride once you realized what you accomplished. I just think it's important to know you are not alone, and there are lots of us that ride to accomplish something for ourselves, not for what others think we should do. Yes, I'd love to average 20mph and an 8 min mile, but, I need to balance my life with the level of work I am also willing to put in.

I did a MTB race years back after a pitiful training season and although I was about 10th from last, it was the hardest thing I've ever done, and the the biggest accomplishment as well. I've always had the "brain" thing going...undergrad, grad degree, rapid career, but none of that seems to be as big of an accomplishment as these races and rides, even if I end up at the back of the pack! It's all relative.

Best of luck, best of training and best of fun on your rides!!

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Originally Posted by Lise

Good for you, KSH! Your plan sounds good. Keep us posted. Funny how you had fun on one ride, and the other was misery. It goes like that some days. Take care, Lise

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I DID IT!!!!

I stuck to my plan!

Before I left the house... I ate enough food. I also packed food on my bike that I could get to easily.

During my ride... I ate on gel blocks... and I made sure I didn't get hungry.

I memorized the roads we went on (by making up a story in my head... and there were lots of roads we turned on!)... and when we got to 18 miles I stopped and rested because I knew I was getting tired and I was pretty much dropped.

Then, I turned around and find my way all the back to shop.

I HAD A GREAT RIDE!!!

I got to ride half the way with a group... and half the way by myself, at my own pace.

So... great ride... great time! And now I have the confidence to know that I won't get lost!

Overall, my training has been going great! I have focused on what I can do, and making sure that I fun doing it!


Unfortunately though, this other girl did get lost. Luckily, she found a freeway and called her Dad to pick her up and she got back to the shop that way.