Either doesn't know non-car options or just lazy

Tell me that I'm a judgemental jerk or maybe I should have said something:

Co-worker in our team tells me that he didn't attend a key meeting with an internal client ...because his truck broke down.
This meeting is long overdue. He had LOTS of time in work schedule because he (plus myself), and over 1,000 employees have been working from home for the past 2 months. I know, as well as other employees I've spoken with, we have some chunks of non-productive time, because we just can't do certain work things since it can only be done at our office building which is off-limits because the electrical and mechanical systems are being completely being replaced. (After a major river flood damage, that hit some international news.)

When he told me this, I said nothing. But it didn't feel right. I know our employer doesn't deliberately choose work buildings in hidden, inaccessible areas of the city.

So, later out of curiosity I checked the address of this aborted meeting.

There was a transit bus that went straight to this building. (In fact, his client is the transit authority!) Also a major bike route runs behind building, which I've cycle several times per month to my favourite Middle Eastern bakery. But I didn't know that building was one of ours. (Our employer owns over 30 buildings across the city.)


I'm not impressed. And no, our employer would not pay for a taxi cab ride. We have a small fleet of communal cars to sign out but not every dept. thinks of it/uses it.


Are intelligent car drivers that wedded to their habits? Same co-worker thinks I'm nuts for having a car-free lifestyle and not knowing every corner of the city. (Why would I want to? I think there are some ugly, boring parts not worth visiting...)

And if you taco'ed a wheel on the way to a meeting?

Was he on the bus route that went to the transit center, when his truck broke down? Or would he have had to transfer one or more times, making him impossibly late in any case? Did it break down in a way and in a place that he could safely leave it where it was and hop on a bus?

People who aren't used to thinking of alternative transportation don't think of it/know how to use it. He might not *have* a bike. Depending on when/where his truck broke down, who knows whether the bus was a viable option. Or whether he knew about it. Or.... He probably feels about the bus schedule the same way you feel about the ugly, boring parts of the city that aren't, in your opinion, worth visiting.

I applaud those who use alternative transit every day. I am someone who has, for the next year, given up on it for a lot of reasons (including some very personal). I get a bit frustrated at what I perceive as reverse judgment by those who use alternative transit against those who don't. Where I live, there is a significant time cost to taking the bus (rail is but a dream). Not everyone can make that work. Not everyone has made past lifestyle choices (including living arrangements) that make that feasible. Once you've made certain choices, it's hard to "dig yourself out of that hole" (kids, home ownership, etc. - thankfully those do not apply to me). My DH bikes to work; I can't bike to school. If we moved near school it would be the reverse. There is no in the middle that would work for both because of our urban planning.

In sum: more constructive help; less judgment please:)

PS - I don't mean for my to come off as harsh. It's partly due to personal friends making judgments about my commute. Believe me, I've tried. I've gotten creative. There's no good way. If there were, I and the 20 people I've talked to about it would have found it. But people still judge.

If he was doing a kidney transplant, maybe, dull meeting of little consequence? Not so much. Co workers habits that really don't affect you shouldn't really take up your brain space, if you were his boss, sure.

You haven't given enough detail for anyone to make an intelligent comment -- just glancing at your post I would assume you don't know much about using public transportation. When and where did his truck break down? Is the bus accessible from his departure point?

After living through 9/11 and hurricane Sandy, I am very familiar with the disruptions that occur after a disaster. After Sandy, when we didn't have power, I used my Xootr -- much more feasible to carry up and down the stairs from my 26th floor apartment than a bicycle. But I didn't berate cyclists (or anyone) for not having the foresight to buy a scooter.

Why do you care what anyone thinks of your car-free lifestyle? This sounds like a personal issue between you and your co-worker rather than a legitimate question about transportation.

Truck broke down day before meeting. His wife used their 1 car which is probably how he got to work site building, where he and I met.
He had several hrs. in the morning to get to his meeting.... You have to understand displaced employees (I'm one of them), working from home during the post-flood temp. situation have LOTS of time this summer to do work (more slowly) and unfettered by restrictions of typical work day being at an office building. It's not a great work productivity situation but it's not the worst either. (Imagine if we didn't have computers at all and Citrix.)

He lives near LRT line. But yes, he drives to work which is his mode of travel. Our LRT accepts bikes during non-peak hrs. Beautiful sunny summer day yesterday. Unlike our very cold winter days.

Yup he has a bike. He occasionally goes into the trails in a valley park area (which has City's bike paths) a few km. from home.

No children (therefore no demands on personal schedule comparable to parent), he is athletic (avid water kite-boarder, regular squash, x-skiing in mountains...and indoor bike spinning classes which is great. I know he appreciates my effort to be healthy.)

Dearie thinks it was better I kept my mouth shut from suggesting anything to him, Blueberry.

*Our city had a major river flood in late June this year. Sinkholes in some roads while some bridges collapsed and some river parks gouged, homes were flooded. Some neighbourhoods were closed off because of major construction garbage. Did it change people's choice of transportation, even temporarily? No, most people, I doubt it.

I guess I am *****.

He is someone who makes ado about others, or something else...but sometimes it's him that just delays project progress. Other work situations. In the end I feel sorry for the transit authority, the client.

No, he actually hates road cyclists. They get in his way on the road.

I'm just puzzled why he didn't even consider transit. All feasible. He doesn't live on a farm. In the city.

Is there something in the culture where you live that might make him afraid he would be judged for using a bike or public transportation? I am often stunned by the things you post - you seem very worried about how people will react to your cycling, wearing cycling attire, etc.

Also, whether he has children has nothing to do with anything. His personal life is not your business.

Whether you should have said anything -- does he report to you? Or was your work/life negatively impacted by his absence to an extent that would justify your commenting?

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Originally Posted by PamNY

Is there something in the culture where you live that might make him afraid he would be judged for using a bike or public transportation? I am often stunned by the things you post - you seem very worried about how people will react to your cycling, wearing cycling attire, etc.

Also, whether he has children has nothing to do with anything. His personal life is not your business.

Whether you should have said anything -- does he report to you? Or was your work/life negatively impacted by his absence to an extent that would justify your commenting?

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Pam, I was profiled on corporate front intranet front page for 14,000 employees in our organization for my commuter cycling lifestyle just 4 months ago. I never worried. People thought it was great.... or those that said it. Others were amazed. :D I don't care and haven't for past....2 decades. Since when did I express being worried about my cycling attire at work on TE forums? It may have been other wannabe commuters. :confused: If I did, I would have stopped cycling.

You're right, personal details shouldn't matter. Re children or no children---- except occasionally working mothers tell me flat out they can't bike commute because of children xxxx...and I respect that. So I am mindful of parents with small children.
That's why in responding to Blueberry's idea that suggesting stuff, wouldn't work since he doesn't report to me. (THank goodness.) But we're on the same team, working together on some projects. Anyway, enough about him.

I do use and know public transit...because I use it for non-cycling days as well I have mixed multi-modal options in single trips. I had to for some employers' locations. It's been this way for me..last 30 yrs.

What was NYC like during the first days after flood? Am curious since NYC is so much more denser population-wise.
Our downtown was a whole lot quieter in car traffic for a few wks. after flood because of road repairs, etc. The mayor several times plus our transportation dept., were strongly encouraging the public to take transit, bike or walk because of congestion for the few open roads to get in and out of downtown. Of course, 50% of our light rapid rail was damaged and non-functional for 2 wks.

It's partly due to personal friends making judgments about my commute. Believe me, I've tried. I've gotten creative. There's no good way. If there were, I and the 20 people I've talked to about it would have found it. But people still judge. I'm sure you have tried. And it's enough just to tell people that you did after all. (At least for me it would be good enough.)

I have a real face to face friend who does work on cycling matters for city as part of job, but she drives-commute or on certain weeks is part of a car-pool. Latter has been complicated because she tends to work long hrs. So she's happy to drive commute, but as part of her paid job, promote car-pooling, paid car-share, cycling and transit. It makes the other part of job "easier", which is measuring car traffic demand on our local roads. More congestion over the years, because our city is the fastest growing in Canada.

Well, I can understand you feeling puzzled and being irritated that he didn't use the options that were obvious to you. Nothing wrong with being annoyed, after all we have a lengthy "Dear So-and-so"-thread dedicated to ranting about stuff that bugs us. And you certainly could have pointed it out to him, but it sounds like you don't like the guy much so maybe casual conversation is out.

But you're rather strongly implying that he "should" have known about and used other forms of transit, and it's not a question of "should". He didn't know, or didn't want to use it for whatever reason, and unless it affects you personally you're not really entitled to an opinion apart from a casual comment. People make rational and irrational decisions all the time and that's free will.

Every winter I will overhear some colleague who drives to work going on about some cyclist who "shouldn't have been out there" as if it were a moral imperative, because they saw a cyclist struggling in the snow, without knowing anything at all about why this person chose to cycle. Emotional ranting is one thing, but seriously discussing that someone should be doing this or that gets my hackles up. (They usually shut up when they see me coming though ;) )

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Originally Posted by shootingstar

What was NYC like during the first days after flood? Am curious since NYC is so much more denser population-wise.
Our downtown was a whole lot quieter in car traffic for a few wks. after flood because of road repairs, etc. The mayor several times plus our transportation dept., were strongly encouraging the public to take transit, bike or walk because of congestion for the few open roads to get in and out of downtown. Of course, 50% of our light rapid rail was damaged and non-functional for 2 wks.

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Conditions in NYC varied a lot. Power was out to lower Manhattan for several days, so businesses were closed and there were no subways. Coastal areas that had flooded were completely shut down. Other parts of the city were almost normal -- I made a scooter trip to Brooklyn the first day, and you would never have known there was a storm.

Some buildings that flooded were closed for months, and parts of coastal areas are still not back to normal. Subway tunnel repairs are still underway -- one line that running after temporary repairs was recently shut down -- it will be out for 14 months as more repairs to the tunnel are needed.

Yea, some parts of our city never got flooded.
We did have some flooding in transit train tunnels. The big time driver to get the LRT system fully operational, was readiness for the annual Calgary Stampede which brings in millions of dollars into the economy. (However this year, there were a lot less free pancake breakfasts, slightly lowered visitor attendance, etc.) Yup hunks of our downtown businesses were non-functional for a few weeks. City has repaired 200 sinkholes across the city due to collection of water underneath.

Were you evacuated? I was for 5 days. They cut the power in our neighbourhood otherwise the power transformers will catch on fire/blow apart with water. Our condo building basement got flooded.

Our organization's telephone landlines for 10,000 staff phones was completely destroyed/flooded. Got replaced with long overdue voice over Internet phone system. (That was already being planned prior to flood. The flood super ramped up the implementation.) Water filled up in parts of our 7-level all underground parkade and won't be fixed until Dec. I had heard even some fish from the river got swept into the parkade.


Methinks some of our city engineers contacted NYC engineers for lessons learned/share experiences. All good when that happens. :)

There's a huge controversy now, that the provincial govn't decreed there may be no financial aid for people who choose to live in the flood plain, floodway when a flood happens next time. Of course, Calgary should have never permitted developers to build homes in those areas. Toronto came down hard on no-homes in their zone, after their 1950's hurricane and loss of 80+ lives. Their flood plain area since then was turned into a large park conservation area..where actually Toronto's decades old bike-pedestrian path network system.

Our park greenbelt areas were severely damaged in certain areas..meaning washout of some key bridges for bike commuters, gouging various path pavement areas, etc. This is the weakness for any city to rely too much their parks' path system for their cycling infrastructure (and not expand to road surface cycling infrastructure).

We also had a train derailment just 3 days after the flood, which a freight train nearly collapsed with petroleum distallate, over a train bridge trestle that crossed over the flooded river ..... Same train bridge runs over a busy underpass bike path section by the river that floods.

Sad thing, about all this, is that another flood will happen again. The city has lived through over 10 damaging, widespread floods in the past 120 years. The rivers that flood are fed by the snow melts from the Rockies (120 km. north of us) and heavy rain which we normally don't get.

We weren't required to evacuate after Hurricane Sandy, but most people left because the power was out. I stayed because I wasn't sure my elderly bulldog could make it down 26 flights of stairs even once. I was well-prepared with water, etc. so it was unpleasant but not dangerous.

There is some controversy here over rebuilding, too. Some buildings that had been built to withstand flooding did very well -- I hope lessons were learned from that.

I remember reading about the train derailment.

I just read about an issue with trees in the park near me -- apparently their roots were weakened by being submerged in salt water, and they are now more vulnerable to winds.

When I returned to the city, it was still repairing roads, paths and cleaning out damaged buildings.

Admittedly my drive to cycle far out post-flood hasn't been as strong. A major flood for myself personally reminds me of other major losses in life. But not property loss. I can appreciate those who lost homes or serious home damage, as a process of loss..which dredges up other personal losses from the past.

None of my "regular" friends ride or use public transportation for work. They occasionally use it for going into the city at times parking would be hard to find. The people I work with (ages 20-45, mostly) think I am nuts for riding anywhere.
Sometimes our own personal experiences color the way we view things, especially values from our family of origin.
I just try really hard not to be judgmental; my social circle has dwindled a lot since I started riding, but I can't let that be the only thing to base friendships on.

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I just try really hard not to be judgmental; my social circle has dwindled a lot since I started riding, but I can't let that be the only thing to base friendships on.

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Hey, Crankin I'm still quite close to all my friends I've known over the last 30 yrs.: they are all around my age...meaning their 50's + one who = 75 yrs. I've been cycling regularily last 22 yrs. when I returned to cycling. And then, shortly made it part of my lifestyle.

What probably has helped sustain such friendships for such a long time (without any direct influence by me), is that each friend on her own (since most of them live in a different province), found their own form of exercise over the years,that they each enjoy (walking, tennis, swimming, volleyball, etc.) and other ways to become healthier. They all drive cars regularily except for 1. But some take transit. One of them took up driving in her mid-30's onward. She is not a totally comfortable driver...so honest, that makes me wince.

By coincidence all of these friends (6) are healthy so far. Even the 75 yr. old who broke her hip, still has no heart, respiratory problems. None of these friends know each other since I've met each friend at different times in life and none of it related to exercise activity.

Only 1 friend (2 yrs. older than I) actually is an avid cyclist and has gone on several touring trips solo over the decades. She is a transportation policy analyst and has been part of car-share for past 15 yrs. Except for her, I don't talk much about cycling with other friends. I focus more on what I've seen on trips.

I do feel incredibly blessed....and by coincidence that these friends have found their own ways to keep healthy. We want friends around for a long time!