Botox anyone?

Has anyone ever had or wanted to try Botox or fillers? I am 52 and the signs of aging are depressing me. So i did my research and found a clinic and had my first Botox treatment on my forehead to reduce the lines inbetween my eyes. I let that settle in and decided to go for the filler around my mouth, stating that I wanted only subtle change. The entire process was $1200 3 visits, my DH has still not noticed and now it is about a month later ( I did say subtle change) except I never told him and now the credit card bill has come and I have to confess!!

I must say I was just looking in the mirror and am starting to notice the big line around my mouth and now know why people want fillers.

I haven't gotten any botox, though I was encouraged by my dentist to get them for my excessive teeth grinding (I have an exceptionally strong bite and clench my teeth at night. I get headaches and break my teeth all the time even with a nigh guard).

It was actually accepted by my insurance so the cost would've been about $200 but it meant I would have to go every few months so the costs would just add up in no time. I also didn't like that I wouldn't be able to chew normally, it would be like mushing on a banana, if you will. So in the end I didn't go for it. Although temporary, I still didn't want to be "stuck" with it for months if I didn't like it.

I guess if your husband didn't notice and it was subtle, the question is: would you keep doing it, and do you think it was worth it?

For new TE members, we also would love to hear about your cycling related stuff (good starting point) and other health issues too.

Barb, if you use the TE forums searchbox when you log-in, and use keyword 'botox', you will find whatever discussion threads. As you can see, it doesn't consume alot of forum discussion (yet?).

Hope you have a fruitful discussion with DH --beyond botox. You might be surprised what he thinks about you aging and other women. Some of the things we obsess about, our SO just doesn't care that much vs. overall mental health or demeanour for the woman partner in their life.

I know my partner hopes I will just participate in regular exercise and look after my health. That's all he can do: Hope. And the rest is my choice and what I do about it.

No judgement here because my philosophy is each to his/her own. Whatever makes you happy, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. :p

I actually like my aging face, greying hair, etc. I consider it a privilege to age because not everyone gets the opportunity to grow older. In addition, I'm in much better physical shape than a lot of women half my age.

Maybe it's because I was never a "babe" and appearance is something I've decreasing cared about as the decades have passed. I'm now focused on ensuring I stay healthy, strong, and active.

I've considered it, but not done it. I've got pretty severe lines between my eyes that are starting to show all the time now (not just when I'm squinting). They make me look like I'm scowling, so I've thought about ways to reduce it. Unfortunately, I'm not ready to commit to injections for the rest of my life, so I'm putting off the decision until I can't bear it any longer. ;)

I would love to age gracefully, but I've never been all that graceful to begin with... :p

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Maybe it's because I was never a "babe" and appearance is something I've decreasing cared about as the decades have passed. I'm now focused on ensuring I stay healthy, strong, and active.

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I'm not a babe in appearance either, even when I was in my 20's. Alot of men only noticed me...when there were no other women around to distract them. :p Seriously.

So I've lived several decades of life just living in the shadows of the sexiness and stunning beauty of other women.

I don't like looking tired...and it's more pronounced since my sister's death and plus other stuff. But I have my general, overall good health where already women just a few years older than I (@53 yrs.) are starting to get arthritis, etc. The latter, my health and mobility is much more important to me and where I would spend time, energy...and if necessary, money, where the public medical insurance will not cover. Great health and fitness is always fashionable, always younger than your age --well my philosophy.

I look at the photos of my mother at the same age I was: it's a difference because she had the physical effect (on her body) and stress of raising 6 children. So by default, I am already younger looking: I never experienced that same magnitude of physical impact, energy expenditure and stress since I never had children. (It's nice to talk about the joys of parenting, but with many children there is noticeable stress at various times. I witnessed too much of it.)

I treat myself for vanity... frequent haircuts. But I am barefaced without make-up when I am at work in the office...for the past few years. So someone like me, wouldn't see botox in part of my arsenal. :o


As for what my partner thinks: he's relieved I'm a small woman at my age. I'm not kiddin': it means less sagging. He's relieved I don't wear perfume..because he's allergic to any fragrance in soaps, lotions, etc. He's never once told me I should get rid of my tired look. I have this feeling it's like seeing wallpaper to him, he's so used to it he doesn't truly notice most of the time.

He enjoys having a partner who bikes with him, among other things.

Note: I made the initial comments earlier in this thread, because the forums do get trolls and spam. It's noticeable when members don't introduce themselves and talk about their cycling first. (Let us know if you introduced yourself already.)

I couldn't do it...for a few reasons - nevermind what it is made of... I am happy being the age I am and I earned it. I don't wear make-up, don't own a blow dryer, I can shower and get out the door in a matter of minutes. I am about as low maintenance as possible. Doing something like that would go against everything that do to be natural in other ways.

I think if that is someone's choice, that's fine. It's just not a choice I would ever make for myself. I could use that money on something much more fun....like another bike!

I'm with Diana. No makeup, no blow dryer. I can be out of the house in 30 and that includes shower, feeding the critters and making my food for the work day.

However, I'm not opposed to it. I'm a big believer in if it helps how you feel about yourself then go for it.

To each his/her own. I'm another that does not wear (or own) makeup. I do however own a hair dryer. However, I love having long hair and there are times it's just easier to use a hair dryer than to wait forever for it to dry on it's own.

Well, I know I've spent way more money than that on counseling services. I, like many of the women here on TE, am very au naturelle. But if it was something that I thought would make me happy, like spending thousands on counseling, then why not?

Having said that, if it's just a band aid that is covering up some insecurity such that in several months you're going to be looking for something else to "fix", well then, maybe botox and similar treatments would be a money pit that never led to true happiness.

I know plenty of women that have had breast implants that are happier for having done so.

People really do need to choose for themselves.

I wish we lived in a society where youthful appearance wasn't so coveted.

I have considered it for migraines. I have a set of furrows between my eyes from constant tension headaches and I'm not even 40. They told me Botox might ease the furrows and headaches. I never did move forward with it but I don't think Botox is the worst cosmetic things you can do as you age. I know several ladies that do it.

I've never considered Botox, as I don't have anything that would require it, at least anything that bugs me. I have considered fillers and I am still considering it.
At the risk of sounding "vain," I wear make up, and generally enjoy all things that have to do with making myself look nice. I, too, can be out of the house in 30 minutes, maybe because I have short hair that just requires wash, wax, and fingers. I look pale, with reddish skin under my eyes without a little make up help on my face.
I agree with Shooting Star, that being healthy and not overweight as you age is the most important thing, but I really do not understand why wearing make up or wanting to look younger is "bad." At almost 59, I sure don't want to look "old." I don't want to look 25, either, but I'm pretty happy with the way I look for my age. I attribute most of it to good genes and hard work, as in hard work with exercise and eating healthy. The make up and spending good $ on my hair just make it better. Since I also enjoy getting sweaty, dirty, and suffering in various forms of outdoor activity, no one can accuse me of being a girly-girl :).

I think the key thing for us here, is that the money spent on botox for those of us who commented, is money we ourselves have earned. And hence, it's easier for us to exercise that freedom to make decisions how to spend that money.

It's more complicated if it's someone else who earned that money.

Still interested in the original poster's comments after hearing from us.

Crankin, I've done fillers a couple of times now if you have any questions about it.

Shooting Star, I think the issue you raised about money, etc. differs widely in different relationships. DH and I have always had a joint account and for any big purchases we made that benefit us as individuals, we would confer, especially in the beginning of our marriage, when we didn't have a lot of money. We used to have this joke, "How many Liz Claiborne dresses is that worth?" It dates from the '80s, but you get my drift. At that time, DH and I had very different interests and I never really understood how much $ it took to properly run and keep a house in excellent condition.
33 years later, it's quite different. Before I quit teaching, I was making very high 5 figures. I generally didn't discuss any purchases for myself, because I knew we could afford it. When I quit working and was in school, it was quite an adjustment. It was the first time in my life that i didn't work. I started discussing my purchases a bit more, and my DH does, too. I call him Ismelda, as he has quite a shoe buying habit. I never question any bike purchases...
There were times in the 80s I did hide some clothing purchases from DH, but the bills always came and we paid them, no questions asked.
Now that I am working again, we are kind of in the middle somewhere, as I make about 1/2 of what I was making before. We can afford to live quite well without my income, but I still think it is fair to discuss certain things. I don't feel like I have to "ask permission," it's just part of being a partnership, in deciding how we are going to spend our money.

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Originally Posted by Crankin

Shooting Star, I think the issue you raised about money, etc. differs widely in different relationships.

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+1 million. Even among my friends and coworkers, I've witnessed just about every permutation of this imaginable so I don't think it's safe to assume any general rules about how couples approach their finances and spending.

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Originally Posted by Selkie

No judgement here because my philosophy is each to his/her own. Whatever makes you happy, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. :p

I actually like my aging face, greying hair, etc. I consider it a privilege to age because not everyone gets the opportunity to grow older. In addition, I'm in much better physical shape than a lot of women half my age.

Maybe it's because I was never a "babe" and appearance is something I've decreasing cared about as the decades have passed. I'm now focused on ensuring I stay healthy, strong, and active.

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This goes for me.

I am currently exploring my new found social invisibility. There is certainly cruel and annoying sides to age discrimination, but usually I just pretend that I have Harry Potter's cloak and wonder how far I can go with it.

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Originally Posted by shootingstar

Note: I made the initial comments earlier in this thread, because the forums do get trolls and spam. It's noticeable when members don't introduce themselves and talk about their cycling first. (Let us know if you introduced yourself already.)

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Noticeable to you, perhaps. I get really tired of the somewhat (perceived by me) unfriendly approach to new posters if they don't meet some specific, unnamed criteria of what a first post should look like.

Re OP, I'm certainly not happy with my age lines, but I can't quite bring myself to consider the alternatives, having been cosmetic free my entire life. So I have nothing useful to add, sorry. Welcome by the way. ;)

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Originally Posted by Irulan

Noticeable to you, perhaps. I get really tired of the somewhat (perceived by me) unfriendly approach to new posters if they don't meet some specific, unnamed criteria of what a fist post should look like.

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I get this. I really do. However - sometimes it's hard to tell. Early morning east coast - this board can be a mess. Lots of spammers. Some reply to 3-4 threads before inserting links.

For this one - I looked at the 1st post - which was about a bike (and included the apparently preferred bikes sig). So my radar wasn't on as much as usual.

Interesting discussion btw. I do hope the original person comes back and weighs in.

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Originally Posted by Irulan

Noticeable to you, perhaps. I get really tired of the somewhat (perceived by me) unfriendly approach to new posters if they don't meet some specific, unnamed criteria of what a fist post should look like.

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+1. I don't know if I've perceived a trend with this, but at least in this instance, I totally agree. If someone has concerns about whether a post is spam or otherwise violates forum guidelines, contact the administrator or simply ignore the thread. Otherwise, I think new members should feel free to post about whatever they want, assuming it fits into one of our established subforums. Moreover, we have had past discussions on aging, wrinkles, cosmetic procedures and the like, so I don't think BarbaraJo's question is all that unusual.

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Originally Posted by Blueberry

I get this. I really do. However - sometimes it's hard to tell. Early morning east coast - this board can be a mess. Lots of spammers. Some reply to 3-4 threads before inserting links.

For this one - I looked at the 1st post - which was about a bike (and included the apparently preferred bikes sig). So my radar wasn't on as much as usual.

Interesting discussion btw. I do hope the original person comes back and weighs in.

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I agree that it's hard to tell, but often the syntax is off with spammers. When in doubt, I'd rather just ignore the thread than suggest that their post isn't the best introduction.

I've mellowed a lot when it comes to what I think of various "beautifying procedures", for lack of a better term, and I do believe people should do whatever makes them happy. But I'll admit that the whole idea of Botox puts me off, more than say, breast implants or liposuction. The idea that women shouldn't have wrinkles, but men look craggy and distinguished with them irritates me. The lines on my face show my personality and the person I've become over many years, more than anything else. When I smile my whole face crinkles up. When I crack a joke or pull a face I want all the mobility my face can muster. Now I wouldn't mind having smaller bags under my eyes, and if I had one single heavy frown line somewhere I might look at Botox differently. But as I am I wouldn't trade my lines for anything.

eta: if I recall correctly my first post was asking about a cyst, and it went sort of "thank god I've found a womans forum! What IS this lump?" I guess about 50% may have thought I was a weirdo. It never crossed my mind to go make a proper introduction first...

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Originally Posted by indysteel

I agree that it's hard to tell, but often the syntax is off with spammers. When in doubt, I'd rather just ignore the thread than suggest that their post isn't the best introduction.

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I agree 100% with this. It's sad that we're not as welcoming as we once were. Sometimes I just click the triangle and let the mods sort it out (particularly where the syntax is terrible and they've started 10 threads).

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Originally Posted by indysteel

+1. I don't know if I've perceived a trend with this, but at least in this instance, I totally agree. If someone has concerns about whether a post is spam or otherwise violates forum guidelines, contact the administrator or simply ignore the thread. Otherwise, I think new members should feel free to post about whatever they want, assuming it fits into one of our established subforums. Moreover, we have had past discussions on aging, wrinkles, cosmetic procedures and the like, so I don't think BarbaraJo's question is all that unusual.

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If someone has concerns about whether a post is spam or otherwise violates forum guidelines, contact the administrator or simply ignore the thread.
+1. Use the report post button, that what it's there for. Let the moderators decide if you aren't sure about it.

Back to wrinkles. I'll probably never botox, but I sure don't like the "frowny" shaped one I'm getting. :(
What's worse than wrinkles is those darn whiskers!!

I don't think I'd ever personally consider Botox, but in all it's pretty benign - it does wear off- which is lucky for the few who get complications.

When I worked at the VA I video taped one of the nurses who'd had it done (this was back in the early days, when it was pretty new to the cosmetic world, but had been in use for a while for medical treatment). She had a definite complication- her eyelid on one side was paralyzed too! It was almost comical and since she knew it would wear off she did laugh about it. She could lift it open with a finger, but as soon as she let go it would slowly drift back down. I think it took about 3 months for it to go back to normal.

I don't know whether I would ever get Botox, but in the back of my mind, I'm open to the idea of other procedures if I really thought they would make me feel better and be worth (subjectively speaking) the money. I'm almost 43 now, so it's hard to predict how I might feel at say, 60. My husband is younger than me by more than a few years, and I'm admittedly anxious about how we might look together as I age. Of course, I'm anxious about how I might look to him, too.

I will say this: Many of the older woman I know who seem either older or younger than their years appear that way because of how active, vibrant and fit they are (or aren't, as the case may be). Those that are active and fit, wear their wrinkles, lines and age spots really well. Attitude goes a long way in camouflaging imperfections.

BarbJo..hopefully you didn't misunderstand my comments.

Back to botox: Though we are diverse group, I don't think we are as diverse in breadth of women from all lifestyles, demographics (age, race, nationality, literacy level). Go ahead, jump on me. But that is my narrow opinion..after participating here over the last few years.

I suspect in a different women's forum where the whole forum was focused on beauty/cosmetics discussion as the main forum subject thrust, there may be a different sentiment. ie. more widespread use of botox by women participating in such forums.

Wow! Not sure where to go with this... First off I didn't realize I had to introduce myself, if that is the protocol I apologize for rocking the boat(bike) and hope that this discussion was worth it! :eek:
Second, I have to say I appreciate all the comments both positive and negative. It's always so interesting to hear how women don't judge other women!
I am a wearer of makeup, I own several blow dryers, I take great pride in how I look, both on the bike and off.I work out everyday, I ride at least 4 times a week I lift weights take yoga and Pilates, lost 37 lbs a year ago and have kept it off. I am very lucky to have good health, and look forward to aging gracefully! I have worked hard my 33 years of married life and want to continue to do the best I can to look good, and after the delayed discussion on this topic with my DH I was ultimately flattered to hear him tell me "he doesn't see my wrinkles when he looks at me!" That being said we are our worst critics, and I didn't like the angry look I was developing since I lost weight. I am happy with the results but not sure I want to maintain it. Let's call it a therapy session! Oh and to clear things up I was not covering anything up but my deep lines between my eyes and around my mouth!
I posted this here because this is the only women's forum I haveever joined and was wondering what the "feeling" was out there on this subject. Unfortunately I live in an area where this is a pretty common practice, I realize it is not everywhere.
So once again I do appreciate the discussion and look forward to many more!

I've never introduced myself on this forum.

I think the important thing with botox, plastic surgery etc. is remaining natural-looking. I see some women at the gym who don't look human anymore because they're had so much work done. The same with some actors and actresses -- sometimes their faces are so puffy they look like they've been punched, or their faces are completely frozen from too much botox. But some look great, essentially like they looked when they were younger with just a bit of aging.

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being said we are our worst critics, and I didn't like the angry look I was developing since I lost weight.

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It's an "interesting" problem. Would be interested (out of curiosity) in learning, for those who lost significant weight, how it changed the natural visage/expression on one's face.

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Originally Posted by lph

I've mellowed a lot when it comes to what I think of various "beautifying procedures", for lack of a better term, and I do believe people should do whatever makes them happy. But I'll admit that the whole idea of Botox puts me off, more than say, breast implants or liposuction. The idea that women shouldn't have wrinkles, but men look craggy and distinguished with them irritates me. The lines on my face show my personality and the person I've become over many years, more than anything else. When I smile my whole face crinkles up. When I crack a joke or pull a face I want all the mobility my face can muster. Now I wouldn't mind having smaller bags under my eyes, and if I had one single heavy frown line somewhere I might look at Botox differently. But as I am I wouldn't trade my lines for anything.

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THIS! I love it. That said, I wouldn't judge someone else for doing what makes them feel right, as long they were doing it for themselves.

SheFly

I'm all for doing things to make one feel better, and if that means spending money on make up or on procedures, so be it. I think it's very snooty when someone says they don't do anything and love the way they look and so should everyone else.

Good for them, but if one feels better having done something, that makes them look good because in the end beauty comes from within. I know that sounds a bit contradictory, but even if you're beautiful, you're not going to look nearly as good if you feel good about yourself.

I don't wear any make up or blow dry, but I consider myself super lucky that I can get away with doing that. However, I did spend ~$8,000 on 8 porcelain veneers on my front upper teeth because mine were stained by tetracycline and very small (I also had gums lasered so the teeth were elongated). I will say that it was worth every single penny, because it made me confident enough to smile.

Far be it for me to judge someone for getting botox or fillers - if that makes them feel better about themselves, all the power to them.

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Originally Posted by BarbaraJo

Wow! Not sure where to go with this... First off I didn't realize I had to introduce myself, if that is the protocol I apologize for rocking the boat(bike) and hope that this discussion was worth it! :eek:
Second, I have to say I appreciate all the comments both positive and negative. It's always so interesting to hear how women don't judge other women!
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So once again I do appreciate the discussion and look forward to many more!

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I never introduce myself on forums either. I just start hanging around like a stray cat, and either I fit in or I wander away.

For hair and make-up and primping in general, I have never really seen much improvement in my appearance from before to after. So it's either 'at least I'm making an effort' or 'a complete waste of time' depending on my mood.

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Originally Posted by BarbaraJo View Post
Wow! Not sure where to go with this... First off I didn't realize I had to introduce myself, if that is the protocol I apologize for rocking the boat(bike) and hope that this discussion was worth it!
Second, I have to say I appreciate all the comments both positive and negative. It's always so interesting to hear how women don't judge other women!
...
So once again I do appreciate the discussion and look forward to many more!

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Originally Posted by malkin

I never introduce myself on forums either. I just start hanging around like a stray cat, and either I fit in or I wander away.

For hair and make-up and primping in general, I have never really seen much improvement in my appearance from before to after. So it's either 'at least I'm making an effort' or 'a complete waste of time' depending on my mood.

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I like Malkin's approach, I do similar for forums, not make up. :p. There is no protocol for this board, as much as a few people think there should be. I've been posting here for years and I have no idea if I ever "introduced myself" here . (omg, almost ten years??!!!)

It's funny. My mom was an Original Bra Burning Feminist and I was highly discouraged from using make up, shaving, or anything remotely perceived as The Establishment Forcing Women To Do These Things In Order To Be Socially Acceptable. I'm at a loss for a better description - but you get the idea. It was only as an adult that I realized I didn't have to do it her way. But I still don't ever wear make up. I wasn't allowed Barbies, either.:D

I've always envied wash 'n go women. I have fine, straight hair and the coloring of a corpse. For work, I need the assistance of some styling products, a hair dryer and some makeup. I try to keep it pretty natural, but I look kind of puny without it. Plus, I think makeup can be kind of fun. On weekends, I don't bother with it as much.

But I firmly believe we should go with what makes us feel good and fits in with our lifestyle.

Ha, Indy, "coloring of a corpse" describes me, too. With freckles, none the less.
Irulan, wow, I'm glad you realized you didn't have to do things exactly as your mom said. Funny, how parents do that to us...
Badger, I kind of think the same as you do.
My mom wore make up, had her hair done (twice a week in the early sixties), and flew to NYC to buy her clothes. She also let me know I could do whatever I wanted to, told me never to depend on a man, and was into exercise before anyone else of her generation, at least where I grew up. We rode our Raleighs together. She wore bell bottom jeans when other women were wearing white gloves. I am pretty much just like her!
I was thinking about how this applies to the younger generation of women. I don't have daughters, so it's interesting to me. Both of my DILs wear make up and they are very different people. One is 25, athletic, gorgeous, and in college. She was in the Marines when she met my son. The other one is 32, a professional, who grew up in a "hippie" family, and actually lived in a commune for about 3 years when she was a little girl. Her mom is about as opposite of me as humanly possible, in every way. She's very pretty, but overweight. Yet, both of them know when to dress up and wear make up, in their own unique style. They both get manicures and wear lipstick.
Just interesting to see how this plays out over generations.

I can't wear makeup...... If I try I just feel like I've got a clown face painted on..... Even if I keep it super light and super conservative. I've always felt this way even as a little girl when, I guess, I should have liked that sort of thing. I see other people who do a good job of keeping it natural looking, but it just doesn't seem to work for me. Give me a good wind burn to rouge up my cheeks any day, but you can keep the blush.

Sure, I used to wear make-up more often, but last 6-8 yrs. it's very rare. My face lines are more accentuated when I wear make-up and after several hrs. of foundation on face, I actually feel more tired. That is the last thing I want to feel as I get older but am still active.

Wierd as this may seem, I actually aim to have my haircut at a short length especially during cycling seasons, so that I don't have to drag along a curling iron or blow dryer..in my bike pannier on touring trips. I got fed up cycling up 10% grade hills loaded down with the thought, that some of that extra weight, was a hair appliance.

So yes, I'm pretty lazy about the make-up/face thing these days. About my weight, yes, of course I care... enough that I pay attention in a half absent-minded way about what I eat, exercise, etc. People have said to me, well you've never had to lose weight in a significant way. Are you kiddin' me? To maintain a fit healthy weight over several decades...takes some effort and mindfulness. Especially when one's metabolism naturally slows down with age. Weight control doesn't happen just magically....especially when one is over 25-30 yrs. old. (Am 53)

So yea, my weight control is probably the strongest evidence of self-vanity and health.

Happy cycling BarbaraJo and welcome. :)

Whatever floats your boat, I say. If the end result is you look at yourself in the mirror, or by whatever yardstick you use, and you are happy with it then great.

I never wore makeup. Really oily skin until I was in my forties (I'm 52 and still struggle with pimples like a teenager) and reactions to some things in makeup (still have to read the ingredients in deodorant or I will get the worst rash) made me shy away early on in life. And when I saw a photo of, of all people, Ronald Regan at his ranch cutting trees, all pruned out in the face and neck, and baby butt smooth on the chest- I went AH HAAA!. No sun exposure for my pasty white skin! I was unfortunate and got my father's Russian skin and not my mother's middle eastern olive skin. So while my friends all went to tan at the beach, I slathered sunblock on and have lived my life as a colorless ghost (look at my avatar- my skin reflects like the moon). Now they are wrinkled, while I have yet to pick up anything more than a few small 'laugh lines' around the eyes.

No Botox for me. I use olive oil cleanser and natural soaps and moisturizers. Shea butter with frankincense and myrrh is wonderful. Besides, all my spare coin goes to bike stuff ;).

Wearing make up apparently improves my appearance, as evidenced by the reaction I got when a friend gave me a "makeover" in college.

So for six hours in my life, I was a man magnet!

Foundation, lipstick, and blush gave me zits, so that was a non-starter. if I wore mascara/eye shadow during my younger years, I would forget I had it on and smear it so I looked like the victim of a bar fight.

I currently don't own any makeup, either, and since I start my day from the swimming pool locker room, I shower and go. To style my hair, I comb and shake it like a wet dog. :)